05/14/2011 17:09
The First Four Days: Why They're So Hard
The first four days are the hardest part of any weight loss program. So what's the difference between people who get "over the hump." and those who give up during that first week?
It's more than willpower. In fact, I believe it has nothing to do with willpower, and the more we try to exert willpower, the more likely we will fail to follow through and lose the weight.
It has to do with fear. Once we have become dependent on overeating as a surrogate problem-solver, attempts to lose weight are threatening to our mental wellbeing. Like an alcoholic who turns to the bottle instead of facing his problems, we turn to food for comfort to hide from our own. The weight loss regimen becomes a threat. We can even get a little anxious at the prospect of losing the mental peace we find in food.
And what do we do when we get anxious? Like Pavlov's dog, we turn to food, because it's what we do in response to emotions. Thus the battlefield reveals itself, and we don't know what to do to ease our minds, instead of eating. The more we tell ourselves "Don't do it!" the more our brain tells us to ignore that negative message, stripping out the "don't" and telling us, "Do it!" Our brains, programmed through the centuries to protect us against famine, are all-too-willing to help it along. We feel the fear of hunger deep in our reptilian brain. So we try to overcome the fear and anxiousness with willpower, telling ourselves not to do it more and more. If the diet is overly-restrictive, it only magnifies the problem.
It brings out the rebel in us.
Our brains become so resistant during those first few restrictive days, it nearly assures failure. There is only one way to overcome it, and that is to avoid restrictive thinking. Rather than telling ourselves that we must restrict ourselves during those first days, we can dispassionately observe the situations in which we want to turn to food, acknowledge that it exists, and then tell ourselves that we can have the foods we are craving—later. We accept postponement much more easily than denial.
So extend it into the future. From the very first day, plan one meal per week as a splurge. Then when the urge for fries hits, we can make a bargain with ourselves. If we put it off until the end of the week, we can promise ourselves a reasonable serving of whatever we are craving. Chances are that craving will change many times during those first days. By the end of the week, that one splurge meal will be well-planned, and there is success to build on!
Complement the postponement by planning alternate activities for when the cravings hit. Make a list and turn to it. My own list includes meditation, gardening, taking a walk, working on a hobby, doing a jigsaw puzzle, and cleaning a closet. What are yours?
After the first four days, continue this response until it becomes a habit. It's so much easier than that white-knuckled deprivation approach!