05/13/2011 01:54
The Purpose of It All
Once I knew that I had been fooling myself big time when I told myself I was eating out of hunger when I over-ate, I knew it was necessary to do something about it.
For years, I had told myself that I had a big appetite, and I couldn't really help eating too much. I took the easy way out, and convinced myself that I was powerless to control my appetite. It was so much easier to fall into victimhood than it was to identify it for what it was, and take action.
The alienation I felt sent me to food for comfort. It temporarily gave me good feelings. Again, it was easier than facing up to the real problem; which after all, was not facing up to my problems.
This was a good thing, because it led me to the realization that I was a person with a lot of work to do, and that I had a specific purpose for that work. I had to stop letting hurt and anger build until it erupted into a binge. I had to learn how to forgive, and to give the other guy a break. And to give myself a break.