Mini Goals

Mini goals:

February 14th (Trip to Vegas): 225 lbs

March 21st (Spring Equinox): 215 lbs

May 1st (May Day): 205 lbs

June 21st (Summer Solstice): 190 lbs

July 4th (Ind. Day): 185 lbs

August 3rd (My b-day): 175 lbs

August 15th (Vegas Trip): 170 lbs

September 21st (Fall Equinox): 165 lbs

October 31st (Halloween): 159 lbs

November 24th (Thanksgiving): 155 lbs

December 21st (Yule): 150 lbs (Goal Weight)


Will be adjusted as needed.

Gone but not forgotten...

So life went to hell, and I wasn't even given the luxury of a handbasket to put it in.

At the beginning of August, I fell and injured my foot, found out I would be losing my job, and lost my boyfriend in a motorcycle accident. I was unemployed for months and kept re-injuring my foot every time I went out to try to find a job. Fortunately, my old company realized that they needed me and hired me back, with higher pay. I've taken it easy on my foot, and it has finally healed.

I did gain 20 lbs back in those months, but considering how much worse it could have been under the circumstances I'm not being hard on myself. I still tried to eat healthy during this time and went swimming to try to exercise.

I've changed my thinking about my body as well. Instead of it being the enemy, I see more as something that is recovering from being abused. So, I have to be understand while it gets better, as well as forgiving myself for treating it so badly.

I will be walking/running again starting tomorrow, in preparation for my company's trade show coming up in February. A week of 10+ hour days is going to kill me otherwise. I will also be keeping track of my food and try to stay away from processed items.

I will be posting my mini goals in the near future.

This is what happens...

So I was at my lowest weight of 215 lbs in June, and now I have regained enough weight to reach 240 lbs. I am pretty upset with myself. I had been running or walking about 60-90 minutes 5 times a week, but had allowed a new relationship to keep me home at night. I went for my first run in 3 months the other night.

After I broke up with my then boyfriend, I started eating bad foods again. The last couple of days I've been living on nothing but chips, pb&j, and ice cream. No wonder I've gained weight.

I do have a wonderful new boyfriend who is very physically active, and he's offered to take me to the gym and be my personal trainer. Hopefully this will be the start of a new lifestyle for me. I know that changing my eating habits is not hard when I see good food as a reward (ie: strawberries are yummy!).

So, time to buy some fresh fruits and veggies and brush the dust off my running shoes.

I'm not Dead!

Weight: 228

Hey everyone! I'm not dead, really!

They past few weeks have been insane at work, and I am often working 4am to 12:30pm. I have a hard time falling asleep either before or after work so often my whole day is shot. I'm finally starting to get into the groove of it and plan on starting up my diet and exercise routine again.

I am actually proud of myself, because during this month of crisis I gained only 4 lbs. Usually when I am highly stressed out I gain 2-3 lbs per week. I tried to continue to eat right and made sure to walk around town a bit, so this wasn't to bad. And even though I gained weight my clothes are still becoming more and more loose. My size 22 pants are no longer tight

Obviously, I did not reach my goal of getting under 200lbs by Halloween, so I will not buy myself a Wii. My new goal will to be under 200lbs by New Year's Day for the Wii. Speaking of Halloween, is anyone else dressing up? Should we post pictures?

So here are some new goals for myself until the end of November, plus I'm going to try to include something positive I've done periodically (P):

1. Eat my weight * 12 - 500 in calories per day. (P: using EP :D)
2. Consume at least 3 servings of fresh fruits and vegetables a day (P: Bought fruits and veggies that I love this week.)
3. Exercise 30 minutes 5 times a week (P: Bought a foot brace that I can run and walk in for work and exercise, so no more putting it off!)
4. 30 minutes 7 days a week of "artistic me time" which can be my herbalism, art, writing, etc (P: Mom shipped my my Prismacolor art markers from back home, all 120 of them!)
5. Drink 80 oz of water a day (P: Bought myself one of those Swiss metal water containers to carry around so I always have water.)
6. Resistance training 15 minutes 3 times a week minimum.
7. Record my food, weight, and exercise daily on EP. (P: writing this all out so I am accountable.)

Any day I complete these I will give myself $0.10 per item to go in the "Wii Jar". Which means the more I do this, the less likely I am to have to put the Wii on a credit card and thus pay interest until it is paid off. I also put 10% of my tips from work in the jar just as a reward for making it through every week. (Usually about $4 a week)

Woo hoo!

Posted my first after pictures today. I've  lost 35 pounds in three months, not bad at all! Only 80 more to go... sigh...

Tonight my uncle is taking me to Lane Bryant to get some new work pants. I've been getting in trouble at work because my current size 26 and 24's keep slipping down (almost off!). I was going to just take them in myself, but I don't have enough time. So I'll at least buy one new pair and take in the rest myself later. I think I might keep one of the size 26's for an "after" picture. Y'know, maybe stand in one leg when I reach 150 or something.

I'm also realising that though I am losing weight, I don't think I'm going to make my goal of 200 pounds by Halloween. I would have to lose 4 pounds a week for that. I haven't done resistance training in over a week, and I haven't gone running since my new job... when I was doing both of those I was losing 3-4 lbs a week. But since I work on my feet all day I'm afraid to injure myself and not be able to work for a week or something. It has happened to me before. Maybe I'll split up my routine, just to get something in. Maybe work one or two body parts resistance training  each day instead of all 3 times a week. And maybe my running/walking route should be reduced from 45 minutes to 25 or something. I get my walking in most days, but not the running...

Anyway, I am still grateful to be losing any weight at all.

Edit: Why do I look like a deer in the headlights in all my pictures?

Boyfriend Layers...

So, is it wrong of me to think of my fat as "boyfriend layers"? Most of my weight I gained when I was in a relationship. I think alot of it was stress because I seem to attract creeps (which is why I decided not to date anymore until I get myself at least mostly straightened out and get rid of this built-in creep magnet).

For example:

265 - 245 Aryn

245 - 205 Eric (forty pounds... can you tell this was a bad relationship?)

195 - 185 Sean

185 - 180 Jeff (friend since grade school, realised how weird it was...)

180 - 175 D (perfect teenage love, and I will always miss him, sigh.)

175 - 165 Nick (stressed because I didn't really have feelings for him.)

165 - 160 Geoff (nice, ruined it myself by being paranoid that I would mess up)

160 - 160 Alex (nice guy, notice no weight gain)

130 - 155 Matt (My first VERY bad relationship)

130 pounds - me, at 14, before I started my rapid weight gain.135 pounds in 9 years is scary, especially since I lost 30 pounds at one point and gained it all back.

So, maybe this is to personal, but I was thinking about how I count my weight in these "layers". I was also thinking about a hypothesis I heard, that people insulate themselves with weight to protect themselves emotionally. It feels like with each layer that I'm starting to forgive the people I associate with that weight. I've already forgiven Aryn, and I'll at least forget about Eric.

But I guess its not really these people I'm making peace with. I'm making peace with myself, forgiving myself, and learning from all I've been through.

So I guess this journey shouldn't be just about weight loss or muscle gain, it should be about finding that inner light that will make ourselves complete. Doesn't mean I don't want to date again, I just know that I no longer need another person to fulfill my life. And I certainly don't want someone I "couldn't live without".

Anyway, I guess cause its late this somehow got deep and emotional, probably because of how weight is finally starting to leave my body. I hope that you all are doing well,

Jay

Heck Yeah!

W: 234

Hit another low today! I haven't been 234 in a year and a half to two years.

I am ready to start the challenge tomorrow! I still have that goal to be in onederland by Halloween, and I want that WII!

Woohoo!

After a few weeks of see-sawing back and forth I'm finally seeing small losses. Any loss is fine. If it takes me ten years to lose all this weight, I'll be a little upset but mostly happy.

I am especially looking forward to the next couple of days. Tomorrow is the day I measure myself (every two weeks) and since my pants have been falling off I'm expecting a good loss in my waist at least. Sunday is my last August weigh-in for the "100 " group here on EP, and then I have to do a weigh-in for the same group the next day because of the CHALLENGE. I love points systems (you should see all the gift certificates I get from point based survey sites) so this challenge will give me a measurable way to...well.... challenge myself, lol.

On a work related note, I actually got in trouble earlier this week because my clothes were to baggy! Mind you, these were the same work clothes that had been snug on me at the beginning of July. The pants were bunched up at the waist really weird because of how tight the belt was cinched to keep them up. I can pinch at least 2 inches (so 4 total) so I may actually be two sizes smaller (a size I haven't been in in two years!). My shirt (a men's 2XL) I can now pinch 4 inches for a total of 8 inches (minus a few for breathing room).

The bad part is that I found out that Old Navy stopped carrying those particular pants, and I REALLY liked them. Its hard to find pants that fit me well, especially over the internet. I may go to Lane Bryant this weekend and treat myself to a new pair of pants... at this rate, I might even be back in size 20's! (Been at least 4 years).

Also, starting to see some muscle development in my biceps! Woohoo! When I have reached the end of my weight loss cycle, I really want to focus on gaining some muscle (like female boxer or Xena-like, not massive bodybuilder). Though I am considering training for strong man competitions.

Anyway, I am really excited to be on here with such inspirational people. Seriously, you all rock!

New Stuff Afoot!

So I have had some very stressful past few days and managed to go over my calorie limit only one day (and only by 150 calories). It seems like the scale is finally taking a move in the right direction. I also have been noticing some development in my arm muscles since I have been resistance training the past few weeks.

I know that my biggest problem as a vegetarian is to get enough protein. So, for Gwynn's challenge I'm going to consume 1/3 my weight in grams of protein (ie 240 lbs = 80 grams). Building muscle brings about a higher metabolism and so on. I mainly plan to eat 1 Griller (vegetarian burger, 15 grams protein)  and 1 cup of cottage cheese per day (24 grams protain). They'll account for 25% of my caloric intake but give me 50% of my protein needed. Hopefully just my normal healthy diet will account for the rest. I don't know how much peanut butter I could eat to compliment it... and pb just has to many calories to eat on a regular basis.

Oh, and I actually got in a little trouble at work today. Apparently my managers have been noticing that I have lost enough weight that my clothes look baggy. I thought that they were a little baggy, but okay. Turns out that my clothes are so baggy that I may be violating dress code! This is kinda funny since these are the same pants and shirt (26 and mens 2XL respectively) that I bought as my "job interview clothes" that fit perfectly at the end of June. ::Does a little happy dance::

So, I guess I should buy new clothes again? Or maybe wait for one more size?

Can't Believe it!

So, I was at work last night. I haven't lost pretty much any weight this week because of all the coffee and pastries I have to sample. But last night, I decided not to wear a belt with my work pants (they are all the same size and I bought them at the same time). They were snug when I bought them, and last night they FELL OFF.

THEY FELL OFF.

THEY FELL THE F*** OFF!

Fortunately for me, I was alone in the back and they only fell partway down. I had to adlib with a paperclip to pin it in the back. So, I think that while the numbers on the scale aren't moving, I am losing fat and gaining muscle. That is fine with me. I have seen people in their "ideal weight range" that look horrible. For me, its more about being healthy and being strong.I guess I believe that everyone, even women, should have some muscle definition (Not she hulk mind you, maybe Xena Warrior Princess-esque). If for nothing else, they should do it to help nip osteoporosis in the bud, before we're all 95 and 6 inches shorter.

On a lighter note, a family friend found out about a all-ages-all-sizes group that provides free surfing lessons to b eginners. I would probably just have to catch the bus to the beah. Heck yeah! I am so excited. I'm also a little paranoid about sharks, but I realistically know that I'm more likely to be in a car accident on the way to the lesson than actually bitten  by a shark.

So, everything is sh