It's 4:30 am right now, and I haven't gotten to sleep yet. I tried to go to bed about three and a half hours ago, but I just can't seem to relax. I don't know what's wrong with me! This is weird. My eating has been pretty good the past few days, it's the exercise I've really slowed down on. I think going to the gym will really make the difference between losing weight and staying the same, so I really need to shape up. I have to get up in four and a half hours, which sucks, but hopefully tomorrow afternoon I can take a nap and muster up enough energy to go to the gym. Once I'm there, I really like it. Running on the treadmill feels good after about thirty minutes. It's just getting there. Despite my shortcomings, I feel pretty proud, this is the longest I have ever managed to be on a diet. Basically, I've never been sucessful because I couldn't stick to anything. But it's different now, I've realized this is a lifestyle. It's kind of a big deal for me, because I used to be a real binger. I used to seek out gigantic portions of things that made me feel insanely full. I used to worry all the time that portions wouldn't be big enough to satisfy me. I don't know how I got like that, and I don't know how I stopped being like that, but I did. Well, I guess I will try once again to go to sleep. I need it. I'll check in on other people's blogs tomorrow.
Before writing this post, I was thinking about what to say. I wasn't exactly sure, and I realized the reason was that I am headed for plateau-land, if I don't pump up my motivation. I haven't been working out, and I've been eating well enough that I won't be gaining weight, but at this rate I don't think I will lose any either.
So, what I need to do is get motivated! Remember why I'm doing what I'm doing. I hate my love handles, I hate buying size large clothes, or worse, not fitting into any regular size pants at the store. I hate that I never go swimming because I don't want to wear a bathing suit. I hate the feeling of my stomach or side fat folding on itself. I like the feeling of fitting into my old favorite jeans, I like not being so full I feel like I'll explode. I like having a BMI that is not in the overweight zone. I don't have all this right now, and I want it. I'm going to listen to more of the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast tonight, because I find that it helps my motivation. I have to remember that I'm going back to school in two weeks, and now is the time to really focus on this.
I don't know if anyone else collects points from the codes on the bottom of coke caps, but I have since the beginning of the year. I was scrolling through the rewards, and I realized I had enough for a magazine subscription. I was debating between Self magazine and Bon Appitite. Self is a health/fitness magazine, and Bon Appitite is a cooking magazine, for those you who don't know. They were both quite tempting, and I couldn't decide, but then I thought "duhhh", I'm not obsessed with food anymore, health is my new priority, and then I decided to subscribe to Self. It sounds so simple but it's weird how you don't prioritize things correctly sometimes.
So, I'm back to being a bit stricter on my diet. I think I'll go until
the next weigh in and then ease up a bit. But I'll still be pretty
healthy then too. I've been thinking about going to the gym today, but
I don't think I'm going to make it. It's the heat, as I've said a
billion times before. But I have to figure out a way to overcome that
because in two weeks I'll be headed back to NewOrleans, where it feels
like a steam room this time of year, at least to someone from up north. Oh, that also means hurricanes will be of my concearn.
Tonight I'm making a meal consisting of three vegetables: eggplant with
pesto and cheese, butternut squash with apple cider vinegrette, and
cherry tomatos with blue cheese. Its a meal loaded with nutrients! Oh, I'm a vegetarian, did I mention that? That explains my affinity for vegetables. I've been one for 8 years, and I can hardly believe it. It's been almost a decade. I figure if I can learn to eat differently as a vegetarian, I should be able to learn to eat differently to lose weight.
Ah, it's still so hot here. Blech. Didn't make it to the gym today. I also ate a lot of Indian food yesterday, it was the first time I'd eaten a lot of something really unhealthy. It was really heavy. So that night I went to the gym and ran for 45 minutes, walked for 15. That felt really good. The rest of the week I'm switching back into super healthy mode, since I had such a big treat. I'm already getting nervous for next week's weigh in!
I've been thinking about next summer in the past couple of days. I've realized that I want to spend next summer in Anchorage, where I was born and lived for six years. To do that, I can get a job through the Public Health Service and get placed there. You have to apply by December, and here's where this ties in to everything: for someone to join who is a female and my height, you have to be 138 pounds!!! Yep, that means I HAVE to lose 30 pounds. (I've already lost 12) How's that for motivation? I used to weigh 130, so I want to get down to that weight anyway.
But wowzers, now I know I really am going there. I think I should also set a goal for before I go back to school in a few weeks. Losing weight is certainly a task, but it doesn't feel like hell anymore, which I'm pretty happy about.
Oh and my reward for reaching my first goal arrived today via UPS. I am in makeup heaven!
So I lost 3 pounds. That's good, not amazing, but exactly my goal for this week. Like I said before, I've cut back my exercise a lot during this heat wave, so I guess the weight loss has slowed. It's actually really nice in my basement, so I've been camped out there with my basset hound. I only have two days left of level one of the 30-day shred, which is exciting because I'm getting a bit bored with that workout. In a few days it will cool down and I will be back at the gym! In the mean time, I've been drinking loads of cool water to deal. I'd like to work harder at eating more vegetables and protiens too. That will be my other goal for this week, besides my weight goal. So this is a short post, but that's about all there is to say. I'm not a heat person, in fact I hate the heat, so I guess life kinda slows down when it gets like this.
It's been a few days since I've posted, but fear not - I've been staying on track. Its getting to be over a hundred degrees so I've cut back on my exercise a bit, but I'm still doing the 30 day shred everyday, and I've been sweating like a - whats the phrase? pig? cow? horse? something like that. I've been sweating a lot. The heat really cuts down my energy, I really feel like a slug.
But what's very exciting to me is that something has definitely changed in my these past two weeks. I am no longer waiting to gorge myself. I don't want to eat food that has no nutritional benefit to me. That doesn't mean I've been perfect, but french fries, fatty sandwiches, huge portions of Thai food, mondo burritos - all those things I used to think about constantly - are no longer tempting to me. I know they taste good but they're not worth it. I don't want to get off track, I don't want to be overweight anymore. The fact that this is happening to me is kind of inexplicable. Maybe it was the meditation from the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast, maybe it was just something inside of me all along, that I finally tapped into. Whatever it is, I am intensely grateful. This is an extreamly exciting breakthrough in my life, and I'm very positive. I hope everyone else on here will be able to tap into this too.
Oh, and tomorrow is my weigh in. I'm expecting to lose less than last week because 7 pounds was quite unprescedented.
Okay so I figured out a good reward for myself. I ordered a bunch of mark. makeup. I bought two colors of liquid eyeliner, (one on sale) two colors of cream eyeshadow, (both also on sale) highligher and blush! It sounds like a lot but it is so inexpensive it was actually a pretty cheap total. Ha, I should practically become one of their representitives.
I figure make up is a really good reward, because unlike clothes, you will still be able to use it after you've lost a bunch of weight. It also makes you feel really nice to get new makeup. So yay!
Now I just havee to think of my next reward. What a burden.
I can't believe I've been on a diet so long! I think the crucial difference between this time and other times I've tried is that I don't feel like getting fit is suffering. I'd already been going to the gym a lot since May, and I've started to look forward to going to the gym. But it's just a different outlook really. I used to look ahead and think I could never continue eating all the bland food that doesn't fill me up, and that inevitably I would fail. Now I realize, I can eat those foods every now and then, I just have to listen to my body when it says it has had enough.
I've also been thinking I need to reward myself sometime for my success. I've probably lost my first 10 pounds (but I'm not weighing myself until next week) so I think that needs some sort of reward. I love clothes but I don't want to be buying a lot right now because I won't fit into them later. I don't know what else I want. Make up maybe? A pedicure? Any suggestions?
I am going to go to my favorite Indian Cart before I go back to school, so that will be my food reward. They serve huge portions so I'll probably be eating it for a few days! But not now, the time isn't right.
Yesterday I did the 30 day shred again, and worked out at the gym hard for an hour. I did the stairmaster on level 5 and 30 minutes on the treadmill again. On the bodybugg it said I did an hour and 49 minutes of physical activity. That's awesome. I didn't eat the best though, I ate two Apex Brownie Bars, and I should have only had one. I had more pretzels and cherries also, and I think I ate too many. But I still made up for it by going to the gym. I also listened to some more of my favorite podcast, Inside Out Weight Loss, which talked about continuous improvement. I really like that idea.
So I think that's it for now, everything seems pretty on track. I'm going to the gym again today, I really like getting all sweaty and feeling like I've done something.
So I weighed myself this morning, and I weighed 171! That's much lower than expected. I know I've lost a good amount of weight this week, but 7 pounds? There may be a few reasons that it was soooo low. It was morning, it was hot last night so I had sweat a lot, I had a big coffee yesterday that kind of cleaned out my system, or my weight was higher this past week because of a period bloat. Gosh, this must be so lovely to read. Anyways, I just don't want to be dissapointed when I find out its actually 173 or 174 like I expected. But all the same, this is exciting!!! I'm very close to being in the 160s. I'm going to have to set a new goal!
Yesterday I did even better in the exercise department than I did the day before. I worked out harder at the gym: level 5 on the stairmaster for 30 minutes and 30 minutes on the treadmill (10 of those walking). Then, after dinner I did the 30 day shred, which made me sweat a lot.
Here's what I ate yesterday: Venti light coffee frappachino from Starbucks Two hard boiled eggs Apex Brownie Protien Bar Half of a ceaser salad
I also listed to some more of the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast. She talked about how when you pick healthy foods, you are actually picking to get more pleasure out of your day. Yeah right, you're probably thinking? Well it was actually a fantastic point. When you pick unhealthy foods, you feel really bloated and nasty for a long time afterward, but when you pick healthy foods, you feel light and good. So if you compare the time you get pleasure out of eating the bad food, vs. the time you feel pleasure after eating the good food, the latter wins out by hours. So when you pick good foods, you are picking more peasure for longer, see. This podcast has been sooo helpful in changing my thought process.
So what's next? Getting down to 170, obviously, then I set my new goal: 160. Now I haven't been that light in over a year, so that's pretty exciting! It feels so good to be on track!
I feel pretty good today because when I put on my pants they fit with a bit more ease! That's a good sign, yeah?
I kinda had a mini binge yesterday, I ate a bunch of pretzels, cherries, gatorade and cereal. (weird, right? It was just whatever I could get my hands on) Afterwards, I realized I was doing it because I was so damn hungry. I need to eat more, that will prevent this from happening again. It was afternoon and the only thing I'd eaten that day was a cliff bar in the morning. So, while this was a bad behavior, I still hadn't really taken in too many calories. That day definitly crushed my metabolism though, so I went to the gym and worked out for a full hour. It was fantastic, I really pushed myself.
I've started listening to a podcast called Inside Out Weight Loss. I think it is extreamly helpful. If you're like me, you know what you need to do to lose weight, you just need the motivation. This is the perfect program, because it focuses on helping you get in the right mental place to lose weight. I highly reccomend giving it a listen.
Tomorrow is my weigh in day, which also means its the end of my first week.I feel really good. I've kinda been looking at my weight all week, but tomorrow is the official day to record it. Anyway, I'm trying to wean myself off that habit because I don't think it's helpful or realistic to check all the time.
