11/03/2009 20:37
Getting up early???
I meant to get up early and do yoga. However, the alarm went off and the bed won the arguement. I reset the alarm and slept in. I'm glad I did. I am feeling pretty good now. If the weather holds, I will walk at lunch. I brought my workout clothes for the first time in weeks. So far the sun is out, but it is cold. I am praying for no rain until I have had a chance to walk.
11/03/2009 02:40
Oh so dark
I enjoyed the extra hour of sleep this weekend with the daylight savings change, but it is sooo dark outside soooo early.
I woke "early" and did 20 minutes of yoga after rescuing a table from rotting pumpkins. The pumpkin juice was oozing through the cloth and thank goodness did not ruin my good table. I caught it just in time thanks to Gods grace.
At lunch, I walked 15 minutes to the store, wandered during lunch purchases, and walked 15 minutes back. It is a far cry from running, but I feel good and it didn't make me overtired. I am looking forward to dinner with my family. I had a good day of eating and managed to get through the Halloween craziness without eating much candy. I have been allowing myself small treats, so I didn't feel the need to binge. Yeah for progress. We'll see what the scale says this week. I did eat badly on Friday, but I did well on the weekend.
10/27/2009 19:12
Tuesday crunch time
This is DH's final week of class and a bit of procrastination is making this a very difficult week. I will be playing secretary and hand holding to get him through it. However, I am extremely proud of him for taking on this challenge and am happy to help. Not getting his BS has been a lifelong regret and I am excited to see him working toward the goal.
In spite of illness and lack of exercise, I have miraculously lost 5lbs in the week of October. I cut back my calories since I could not exercise at the level I am used to. I have had really hungry days, and days were the food almost seems like too much. So far, emotionally it has been ok. I feel good at the end of the day about what I have eaten and was not too stressed when I went over my calories. Sunday I did not log my food and thought I had kept track fairly well. When I logged what I had eaten on Monday, I realized I went over by about 300 calories. I was able to shrug it off and realize that it wouldn't put me too far off track. In the past, that might have caused me to freak out.
For a treat, I have frozen mini milky ways (halloween size). I can eat one for only 75 calories at the end of the day. Being frozen, it takes more time to eat it and savor it. I feel like I've had a great treat.
10/23/2009 20:11
And the rain came down.......
Wow, the rain is sheeting down the windows here at work. As much as I love fall and know the rain is needed, it is a bit depressing seeing it in that volume. I definitely will not be walking at lunch today!
Today is breakfast day, I brough bagels. I thoroughly enjoyed my "french toast" bagel with cream cheese and have planned my calories around them. I was rewarded with a small loss on the scale today, so I am finally headed in the right direction.
I am tired today and still on the mend, so I will probably take it easy. I need to help dear hubby with homework tonight.
10/23/2009 03:00
Old feelings
Since my illness and loss of exercise activity, I have really restricted and logged my calories faithfully for the last two weeks. I have logged them, but not restricted them to the point of feeling over hungry in a long time. My calories are reasonable for my body size and activity for weight loss without going off the deep end, but the feeling of deprivation is bringing up a lot of old feelings.
I college I started "dieting" successfully. I got to my ideal of 150 and decided I was still fat in pictures so I would keep going. Then, the compliments on my loss were great and the comments about modeling fueled my ego. The scale kept dropping. Then I suddenly couldn't eat more than a set number of calories for fear I would baloon up. I became so fearful that if I overate, I started purging. I came home from college at 114 lbs and had to end my college career to focus on saving the life I was dieting away. I have been essentially symptom free or "cured" if you like for about nine years. However, I have exercised and focused on health while avoiding dieting like the plague. My weight has gone up and down but stuck at the 200 point which is not good for my knees and gives me a very unhealthy BMI.
I am prayerfully watching my calories and going over scriptures and reaffirmations that this is for my health, not a freak goal to be stick thin. I can choose a lot of healthy foods within my calorie goal or choose a few bad ones. If I fudge, it's ok. Nothing to freak out about. I can just relax and know I can start fresh the next day. I know I don't need to lose weight to be loved or accepted. My family and husband love me unconditionally. I know my husband finds me ravishing at any weight. I want to have energy to play and roughhouse with my daughter and energy was something I definitely did not have when I was anorexic/bulimic.
Please pray for me as I take this next step toward health that I would not be trapped by old issues. My heart desire is to be healthy and free of the body issues that plague us.
Thank you all for your support and friendship.
- Sarah-
By the way, Yoga was great today. It also helps tremendously with body confidence if you have not tried it!
10/20/2009 23:16
On the road again......
Ok, not really. Since the flu I have had noooooo energy. Today, I had a bit and the weather looked good so I went for a stroll. I really mean a slow, just keep moving stroll. I went about a mile on a short loop around work. It is a far cry from the 2.6 miles I was running only weeks ago, but it felt really good. I actually was just as tired as if I had run when I finished which tells me I did plenty. Thankfully I still feel good now that it is done rather than feeling like a deflated balloon with no energy left. Baby steps I guess.
I am trying an experiment with my morning routine. I usually get up and have a banana so I can take my morning pills. I then eat breakfast (oatmeal, cereal, or yogurt) a couple hours later at work. I am substituting my banana for a lowfat cheese stick. The logic is that the banana has a very high glycemic index which could be setting me up for more hunger during the day while the protein and low glycemic index of the cheese should help my overall appetite. It was weird eating cheese first thing in the morning, but I plan to try it for a couple of weeks to see if it makes a difference in my hunger and overall weight loss/maintenance.
Have a good day all.
10/19/2009 19:56
Happy Monday
I am still fighting sinus pressure behind the eyes, but no runny nose, no cough, no fever, and a bit of energy. Yeah, I am still on the mend.
I am enjoying my oatmeal for breakfast. I have discovered if I put cinnamon, a pinch of salt, and a little bit of cloves, than I don't miss the brown sugar. I also like to put in a handful of dried cranberries. I can't stand raisins, but love craisins. They add some tartness.
We had a successful window of sunshine to go to the pumpking patch this weekend. We go to a great place that you take a train ride to the pumpkins and ride back on a paddle boat on a lake. Dragons and a shark pop up next to the boat on the way back. They have a little shop of decorations and stuff on your way out. My parents came as well as my sister, bro-in-law, and neice who is going to be 2 in November. The two tots (my youngest is 3) had a great time. We came back to the house and warmed up with a great vegetable soup I put in the crockpot that morning. It was a new recipe and definitely a keeper.
I did bring workout clothes to work today,but my energy is so low I'm not sure if I'll actually do anything. I may walk to the grocery store if it isn't raining instead of driving to get lunch. I have some healthy choice soup in my desk,but the other one I tried had a nasty aftertaste. I'd rather go get some progresso that I know I like.
Has anyone tried the South Beach diet? My mom bought me the book for a dollar at a swap sale. It seems a bit extreme but like it would jump start someone.
10/16/2009 20:45
Friday, rainy Friday.
The rain is falling, the leaves are beautiful, I am so thankful I don't work outside.
I do have more energy today, but will not be exercising after puttering out yesterday after yoga. My kitchen is clean and my hair is a lovely shade of Auburn after hiding the grey last night. (The roots were too visible). I am looking forward to having family over this weekend.
Take care for the weekend all and thank you for all of your well wishes while I am bouncing back.
10/16/2009 03:04
Surviving the week.
I have kept to my eating goals and lowered my calorie intake due to limited activity. I am really hoping it will help me. I had some energy for the first time today and ventured to Yoga class. Based on recent illness and sniffling noses, our teacher gave us a really easy workout. I was good until the last 10 minutes where I realized what ever energy I had was used up! I am very tired and headed home.
10/12/2009 21:28
New goals
I have been down for a week with the full blown flu. Possibly H1N1 based on the symptoms, but my health care provider refused to test for it as treatment is the same. It wreaked a little havoc with my employer and my ability to come back to work. I had to have something stating I was no longer contagious as they would not test for the virus.
I have been sleeping anywere from 15-20 hours a day. I am back to work and very fatigued as I have not made it through a day without a nap yet. My work out goals obviously need some adjusting. I do not plan to work out for the rest of October until I feel good. I will try to be active around my house such as house work, going up and down stairs, etc, but no more. I will try to eat well and maintain my weight rather than increase with less activity.
