Had A Bad Day

Weight gain has changed my life, I'm gonna change it back.

My Profile

  • Name: charlottewilde
  • City: Ventura
  • Region: California
  • Country: United States

My Support Groups

My Weight Loss

Height: 160.0cm
Start weight: 204.00lb
Current weight: 202.00lb
Goal weight: 125.00lb
Lost to date: 2.00lb
Remaining: 77.00lb

My Calendar

26
May '12
< May >
S M T W T F S
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31    

My Photos

Before After

My friends list

How and Why Pt.1

In January of 2006 I had a problem.  I was thin, pretty, smart, sweet and talented and had healthy dose of self esteem.  My boyfriend (who I was madly in love with) had just moved in, my 2 and 5 year old were doing great, I had a flexible job, my nanny was doing a fantastic job... and I could not get out of bed. 

 

Every day I would lay there and will myself to get up.  It felt like I had a 300 pound man sitting on me.  I couldn't do it.  This had never happened to me before.  I wanted to get up.  I wanted to do a million things.  I just COULDN'T.  I wanted to sleep or lay there.  I had absolutely NO energy. 

I went to my Dr. and he seemed to think I was depressed.  I didn't really think I was, but HE was the Dr., so I took the Prozac he prescribbed.  He said it would raise my energy level.  And it DID!!  Yay, I could finally get out of bed.  I felt great.

Around 3 weeks later I started having every known side effect.  I told the Dr. and he seemed to think the side effects would go away.  By this time it was almost March.  A few weeks later my rage level (a side effect) was so bad that I threw a telephone through my bedroom window.  Not my proudest moment.  The prozac pill I took that morning was my very last.

My Reflection

It took me months to realize how much weight I had gained, even as the numbers on the scale were raising higher and higher, I was in some kind of denial. 

It's unbelievable to some people who have known me a long time.  It was REALLY unbelievable to me when one day I was leaving a store and looked to the side and saw a fat person's reflection in the window.  "Wow.  How sad", I thought.  "She's really fat."  I looked to the other side to see her and there was no one there.  I swear to God.  I realized in absolute horror and shock that it was MY reflection.  Holy crap.  I was fat. 

It sounds like an unrealistic story, but it's completely true.  I will never ever forget that day.  I even remember what I was wearing. 

Tracker