Well, I have not posted in a while.I’ve been kinda moody about the whole weight issue.I’m so tired of my whole world being weight loss.I feel like that is all I am anymore.I think it’s burning me out.I don’t like that my whole world has narrowed down to points and minutes. Does anyone else ever feel that way?
I’m not disputing it is important and needs to continue to be a priority.But so is my life, my interests and my hobbies.I need to find balance.But I can get a little obsessive so that will probably be an ongoing challenge.
Last night I was watching Mo’nique’s FAT Chance.I really liked it.A bunch of big beautiful women who were willing to get painted naked and walk a catwalk.It really reminded me of some important things in my journey.ALL women are beautiful.No matter the weight, looks, intellect.Also, it brought me back to why I am getting healthy.It’s not to be skinny.It’s to be healthy.To enrich my life.I’m a bit of a rebel so if I could be totally healthy and run around all day at 280 lb.s I probably would still be there.I don’t like buying into the media monster that says how we should look and how ugly we are if we don’t fit into the mold a commercial enterprise that is trying to make money tells us we should.Anyways, it was really inspiring to see these woman and Mo’nique share themselves and realize how beautiful they were.
Unfortunately, yesterday was a really bad food day.Started off good, eggwhite omelete but progressed to doughnuts, popcorn and ending with cocoanut pecan frosting.So here I am admitting I made poor choices, accepting that the scale might retaliate and getting over it.
Let's see.... I've been really good this week. Probably first time in a month I have not used all of my extra points on the weekend. In fact, I've only used 2 so far, whoo hoo!
We're moving. Closer to work. I'll be able to ride my bike, that will be awesome. But I'll have to find a sitter for Bif. My mom watches her now, so I have a feeling that is going to be painful.
On Saturday we went to get the oil changed in the car. They told it would an hour wait so walked down the street (about a 10 min walk in 90 degree weather) to get some lunch. The really cool thing was it was not a big deal. We didn't even think twice. It was such a revelation to me. I am at a point now where activity does not intimidate me. I was so happy when I realized that.
So on the wedding front...we are going to honeymoon in San Francisco. Both my DH and I are totally excited by the knowledge that we WILL be able to trek all around the city. We are even counting on it. That was another Yippee! moment for me. We will be fit enough to walk all day long. Too cool!
Lastly, I posted a new pic I call it "15 pounds sexier." Can you tell? Ok, all for now. Have a great day!
It’s been a little while, I know.I have 2 things on my mind today.
First, is a pat on the back for myself.My DH and I have gotten up to go walking at 5:30 in the morning before work.It’s soooo hard to make myself get up but it’s easier then trying to find time with all the hustle of evenings.Plus, I feel like a real exercisor.When I drive to work I see all the morning exerciser’s being all fit and now I feel like I joined the club, lol.Plus I have more time in the mornings so that is a plus too.We even jogged both days.We go by landmarks.The first jog was from the last straightaway to the house and now we are starting a house before the straightaway and tomarrow the house before that, and so on.
The other thing is my will power and self discipline.Where did it go (what little I had).It seems like I have none.I’ve had sodas and cake and mucho mango giant Arizona’s.I know better.Why am I doing this?I’ve been hanging around 266 for the past 3 weeks.And to tell you the truth the thought of losing more, while it is exciting, is also kinda scary.Why?What is so scary about losing weight?Am I afraid of being noticed?Or is it just the fear of change?Am I afraid I can’t hide behind or blame it on the weight anymore?I don’t know, but I am better than this.I think I’m gonna take a week or so and retrain myself.I need to get over the sugar cravings that I’ve restarted myself on.I need to drink more water.I need to arm myself with baby carrots and take this Bee-otch by the horns.
Oh, one more thing 2weeks of wearing make up and doing my hair.Feeling good.I realized why we do it.Because when you do yourself up, you are taking pride in yourself.I have pride in myself.Oh, one more-one more thing.My co-worker guy noticed my weight loss and congratulated me!Whoo Hoo!
Well it's been a while. I've noticed I don't like to post during my TOM. Probably because I'm raging and hormonal. Or could it be because eat REALLY bad and am ashamed? Nah, couldn't be, lol. Well back on track. WI last was up 2.5 ewwww. I got back down and even lost a 1/2 lb. yesterday but I'm back up today, but I think that is all water and salt weight. I've been doing a lot better on the salt and I've noticed I don't get as much flucuation, till yesterday. What can I say, popcorn needs salt, it want's the salt. I'm in a really good mood today, if you can't tell. Tomarrow I'm reserving my spot for the wedding at Lake Tahoe. Now it's real, where it wasn't before. Also, after talking to BettyBoop about my self image issues, I'm determined to get over them.
See, 3 years ago, I was around this weight and was very confident. Getting to a size 24 and the after effects of having a kid killed my self confidence. So I've been working on improving my self image. I know if I don't think highly of myself I'm going to end up self sabataging. So all this week I have been doing my hair and my make up. And I tried on some of my old pants that were size 22 and 20 and they fit (ok, the 20's were skin tight, but still!). I have been feeling better about myself. So I have to keep it up.
I've been having a hard time finding time for exercise this week. So I've been doing my yoga video at night so I don't wake up my daughter. Then doing my regular push ups and sit ups. Since then I've been waking up without as much back pain. So that is good.
Well I'm done for day. Have fun. I'll catch up with you later.
I'm not even logged in for work and I'm already to go home. I didn't sleep well at all! Most of the night it is frigid cold in our room. But enough whining.
I did my WI on Saturday. I'm back hit 266 on my scale (268 at WW cuz of my jeans). I was stoked! I'm so close to being 20 lb.s lighter than February. I can't wait to see 250. That is my next mini goal.
I played softball on friday with my pals BettyBoop and ThreeBlueTulips. I bunted 2x (got to base 1x) and I was walked once. I have to say we 3 did really good. The rest of the team sucked. Our 2 "athletic" guys could catch a cold, much less a softball. The other team were jerks too. I hate when that happens. But I got a good workout. I was outfield so there is not much action but I stayed busy by pacing and stretching.
On the food front, let's just say I'm out of extra points for the week. After WI I picked up Wendy's to have with my DH. It was bad, but it could've been worse. I ordered us the grilled chicken sandwich. But we each had fries and a soda. Then on Sunday, my family got together for breakfast. We all went to Country Buffet. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's an all-can-eat-buffet that serves mostly flavored fat. I had lots of fruits but I also had some bad stuff. I just checked off all my extra points for that. But last night was good. We had chili with 97/3 hamburger and FF sour cream. I also used a pinch of 2% cheese and a pinch of FF cheese (that FF isn't that good so I mix them, lol). But the best thing we did for food we go grocery shopping. We didn't go last and we ate very poorly. Not this week!
Well I think I'm done for now. Off to do some work!
2 posts, one day. Must be a new record for me. I'm sorry I have to do some manbashing. I would say it is not related to my weight loss but it is. I'm so irritated that I want to sit down with a piece of chocolate the size of a buick.
I just don't get how guys (in general) can be so insensitive. I know most of it is that women are natural nurturer's. We can say if I do this, cook this, clean this, move this it would make another's day easier. Then we do it. We don't expect praise (though it's nice to get some every now and then). Most women it's second nature. If you can help, why shouldn't you. NOW, why can't men (in general) do this? Ok, why can't my hubby do this? Why can't he put someone else above himself, even for a few minutes? Or is it me? Is it to much to wish for to have a guy who looks at clothes that need to hung up and grab some hangers? Or to know you are sick and run you a bath, or god-forbid, rub your back. grrrrrrr.... and he wonders why I read romance novels.
Ok, I'm over it. From now on, if he can't do it on his own, I will remind him and turn into a nag. A trait he can't stand, lol.
Well, I ended up playing in the softball game. So did my pal Mandy. They put me in as catcher. What the heck were they thinking? I was horrible. But Mandy came and she took over. She rocks!!! I played outfield a couple of innings as well. I got base once (was walked) and I bunted once and almost got to base. I ran as fast as I could but didn't quite make it. I can tell you honestly no one would've been able to get on base. I can can run fast if I really want to. I have to admit it felt good to run even if I was panting after, lol. Then the rest of the weekend I was walking funny because every muscle and ligament from my hips down was mad at me. Hopefully, I can do it again next week!
I'm back down in the 160's again, that made my day! I went on a walk during lunch last friday and that was fun, except it made me really tired. My hubby and I have also been playing catch at night and that it so much fun. It's a pretty good workout too. It gets all of my muscle groups, keeps me moving and even running after wild throws. It also relaxes me. Last night we went to the park and let my dd wander around.
Well I better get back to work, lol. Have a great day!
I'm so bummed right now, I gained 5 lbs! in the past 2 days. I think a lot is water retention but I know part of it is the past week coming back to haunt me. I am really disapointed right now. But I knew it was coming. I will do my best to drink lots and lots and lots of water today to see if I can get some of it off.
So someone (besides my close friends) noticed I had lost weight. My hubby's boss. LOL, it felt good but it is weird to have someone you don't really know notice you. This will take some getting used to. I'm almost afraid of getting to point where everyone notices and is commenting. I'm a little introverted and it makes me uncomfortable for people to notice me. Oh, well. I better get over it quick cuz I'm not going back!!!!!
Well off to work. I might (slim chance) play in the company's softball game tonight! So I will tell you how it goes! Have a good friday and a safe weekend!
I'm getting better. I walked 1.5 miles today. The first I've walked in almost a week. It felt good to be out again.
I did my 2nd set of measurements. The last was late April. I've lost at least 1/2 an inch off every one! I feel so good.
I hit 267 today, WHOO HOO! It's so exciting to see this weight again. 3 more lbs and I will be 20 lb.s lighter than 2/25. I'm so excited. I'm afraid I'm going to have miss another WW WI this week. I'm bummed but the $$ just isn't there. I really miss it. I didn't think I would but I really look forward to it every week. I HAVE to go the next Satuday.
Well that is all for now. I'm off to start a new painting. Have a good day!
In this entry I want to Reaffirm my goals. My self monitoring has been slacking and I need to pick it back up.
But first I want to say what great things have been happening to me.
1. I can swing in the playground. A month ago I was on the swings and they dug into my hips horribly. On Sunday, I tried them again and it didn't dig in at all! I fit in the swings comfortably! Whoo Hoo!
2. I lost another point. When I started WW I was at 35 points, now I am at 33 points. I have lost 2 points/day! I know, who's happy about eating less, but I really am. It's a more visceral reminder of my weight loss.
3. This one is huge! This is the lightest I have been in about 3 years! I am so excited that I am getting back to me.
4. Ok, so this kinda sux but once again it's a reality check of the weight I've lost. My HUGE boobs are getting smaller, and saggy and kinda well...stretchy. Lol, too much info? Sorry but even that makes me happy. Maybe I will be able to bra shop outside of Lane Bryant someday.
Ok , now to Reaffirm. The past few days I have really been slacking on self monitoring. I've been sick for the past 4 days and I chose not to monitor. I regret it now. But it's in the past and I can't do anything about those choices. But I can do something now. I am going to monitor again. I NEED to. I will NOT be a fat Bride. I will NOT be fat mommy. Starting now I reaffirm that I will be 230 pounds by next March.
This past Saturday I did not WI. I did have $$ this week and that day I fel my worst. But I totally stoked to go next weekend and see what my choices have done. I will accept a gain with confidence. Then I can forgive myself and truly. Get over it. If I still manage to lose, Whoo Hoo! BTW, I lost 2.4 lb.s this week. I have lost a total 16 pounds since February. My brother and sister still say they can't tell a difference but other people can. And most importantly, I can.
Hope Everyone had a great father's day. Take a look at my album and *hopefully* there will be some updated pix of me.
