This isn't what it looks like

I am not falling off the wagon... oh wait.... WAHHHHHH!

This weekend was a fun one, but my food choices were terrible. Yesterday in particular was just bad bad news. When yur lunch consists of a double scoop of mint choclate chip Ice cream in a waffle cone, things are bad. Last night I was very upset about my indiscresions. Today I am trying to put them behind me. I kicked some serious ass at the gym this morning, and am going to go hard core the rest of the week to hopefully shed the 2 pounds Mr Basido Scale says I've packed back on. I'm thinking the not counting points thing was not such a good idea, at least for right now, so I am going to get back to in when my points reset on Thursday. I am so disapointed in myself. :(

'kini Challange, Week 2

I was happier about this weeks pictures until I saw them next to the older ones. They don't look as different as I thought they would. Ah well. I think the fact that I stood farther away from the cameral last week makes me look smaller all around, and that doesn't help.

It appears my ass is disapearing, as the bottoms are beging to get loose in the but, while still creating that lovely muffin effect around the hips. I also have a pocket of fat in each upper thish that I wish I could just hack off. I wish there was a way to target certain areas and leave other be (My poor but! It's leaving me! And I always loved it soo!!!).

Week 24 WI - Another Week Bites the dust

Down 2.4 this week, which for some strange reason makes me feel better than last weeks 2.8 loss. I think that has to do with the fact that I alwsys feel like the scale is going to rebound after I hit a milestone, and this week it did, as Thursday and Friday the scale said I was up 2 pounds. Getting to 162.4 makes me "more normal" and more comfortable that I am not going to jump back to "overweight" again. I have it in my head that I need to get into the 150's this week. It seems so close, but really is almost 3 pounds. So I'm going to try not to focus on it too much and just keep on keepin on.

It really suprises me that I am still losing at the almost the same pace as I did in the begining... and sometimes it worries me too. I worry that I'm not eating enough, or that I will gain it all back because I took it off realativly easily. I keep trying to remind myself that when I started losing weight I decided that I was going to eat like I was already at the weight I wanted to be at... meaning, I wan't going to sacrafice anything I planned on eating later, and that my change in diet was a permanent one, not one that I would be on only until I got to goal. With this thinking, my body will stop losing weight when it is comfortable, and as long as I can get into the 150's I am fine with that. I would like to get into the lower 150's, even to 150, but I am not going to put too much pressure on myself to do it. Once my weight loss stalls, my focus will shit to toning, although I have already begun to move that direction. I have also began to tweak the system, as in I am not keeping track of the 35 weekly flex points and APs I am alloted every week. I have been trying to stay mindful of what I am eating, and how many points it is, but I am not officially tracking them So far it has been working out, but it is the first thing I plan on coming back to if I start to show gains.

I have really sucked it up on coments and reading everyones blogs the last several days... I hope I can get to everyone today. Have a great Wednesday!

I'm pretty full of myself these days

Please move along if you don't want to hear me toot my own horn for a minute or three.

Over the past 3-4 days:

• I threw on a pair of jeans to help the H in the yard and they were literally falling off of me. HUGE. When I looked they were a size 14 from ON that apparently had not become so swimming on me the last time I went through clothes. I could not get these pants past my thighs when I started. I thought I would never fit into them. Now they are HUGE on me.
• I bought my fist pair of size 8 pants---ever. It was a sweet sweet feeling.
• The size 10's that have become my favorite pair of jeans are really getting to be too big on me. I can just about get them off without unbuttoning them
• I worked out everyday last week, and lifted weights 3 times. I was able to add weight to my reps for both my arms and legs.
• At a family gathering on sunday I recieved a ton of compliments on my weight loss. Most everyone there had not seen me since christmas... almost 60 pounds ago.
• Not eating things like cookies, candy, and other not-good-for me food is second nature. Even when I tell myself it's ok to have some, I remember how sugary it will taste, and opt not to have it anyway.

That's all I've got for today... hope everyone had a great weekend, and a good Monday!

'Kini Challange, Week 1

There are new pictures up in the gallery, if you are so inclined. I can see a difference, but again, I may just be delusional. I have focused on my abs and done a lot of cardio this week, and I really think it has helped.

I am not going to say anything about how the scale has told me that I have ganed weight the last two mornings... because I am not going to let it get me down, and I am not going to dwell on it... really. Really really.

Week 23 WI - Normal

I am down 2.8 pounds this week, and according to the BMI calculator on my scale that puts my BMI at 24.9... AKA NORMAL WEIGHT RANGE. I am slighly bummed that the online BMI calulators are still telling me I am at 25, but screw them, I'm sticking with my scale because all three of the trackers are giving me a different "magic" number, so none of them are right! LOL

Anyway, WOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I am no longer overweight! When I Started this quest My BMI was 33.4---Well into the Obese range. Now, I am normal... barely normal, and not normal to everyone, but normal all the same. Sometimes I can't believe who I was 6 months ago compared with who I am now. all that hard work really does pay off.

So Sleepy!

I am having a hard time getting going this morning. I dragged ass to the Y, dragged ass at the Y, and am now draggin ass at home. I just want to go back to bed! WAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for all the great comments yesterday, ladies. When it comes down to it, I know I am doing great, and am in no danger of become Skelator, but it's something I'm aware of, along with the fact that I am still not totally comfortable with my new size yet. I'll get there, I'm sure. It's just going to take a little time :)

In:

S: Banana

B: Shredded Wheat w/ skim milk, NF Latte, HBE

S: Pineapple, grapes, watermelon

L: Leftover Carne con chile verde y papas

S: Carrots

D:

Out:

32 mins elliptical, 15 mins Abs.

Shredded Wheat

I have been craving Shredded wheat since we stayed with my parents pack in cleveland 2 weeks ago. The plain shredded wheat, not the frosted. I finally got some yesterday, and just finished up a bowl with a tiny bit of splenda on the top. YUM! I never ever ever in a million years thought I would like shredded wheat, much less CRAVE it, but I guess that proves the theory that you preffer what you choose... for me at least!

I bought a new outfit to workout in yesterday, both the shorts and the top were mediums, and as much as I can't wrap my head around it, I think I should have tried on a small in the shorts. I have never worn a small. ever. And I never thought I would. But, I might... and that freaks me out a little. You see, most of the time I still feel the same about my body as I did when I was 220 pounds. I don't *feel* smaller most of the time. I still grab for XLs or 12-14s in the store, even though I sucessfully tried on some 8s a few weeks back and they fit like a dream. It's weird, because people look at me now--Check me out, as my husband would say. I always think I have boogers or something though, because I am just not used to it. On top of that, I worry that I will go back to what I was. And that scares me more. I don't want to become the girl at the gym that RUNS from machine to machine, and cranks out 30 minutes on each with the resistance maxed out because she is afraid of letting her heart rate drop, even though she is so thin she really needs to stop and eat something for God's sake (There is a woman like this at the Y, she is probably 6 feet tall and because I snooped once when she got on an elliptical, I know she weight 137... and its all muscle.)! There is a middle ground, and I just need to find it... but first I need to become more comfortable with my body.

I am going to start posting my food an exercise again, for accountability. And I am shamlessly stealing the cool kids "in" and "out" idea.

In:

S: Banana

B: Shredded wheat with skim milk and splenda, NF Latte, HB Egg

S:Pineapple and watermelon

L:Couscsous with leftover steak, salsa, and sour cream

S: Carrots

D:Carne con Chile Verde y Papas

Out:

45mins elliptical

15mins Weights (upper)

30min BB DVD (lower)

Spin Span Spun

I just returned from my first spinning class in years. I sweat. ALOT. I also feel totally wasted, which I know is because I was doing something different and not because I am out of shape (because, I know I am NOT out of shape at this point!) but it still sucks. I think I did pretty well, and I would like to keep going, but that means I have to shuffle my workout schedule a bit.

For those of you with an opinion on this, do you think that 45mins-1 hour of spinning, plus 20 mins of weights (alternating upper and lower body) four times a week is OK? I would probably swim the other two days. I really want to work towards participating in a triathalon, but I really miss my yoga/pilates work... I just don't want to give up my cardio for it. It's a big dilema for me. I was doing half hour tapes of pilates workouts, but the ones I have got boring, and I haven't bought new ones. Maybe I should get a couple new and do those so I don't feel totally without the pilates. I could also go to yoga and pilates classes in the evenings, but does 2-2 and a half hours of exercise qualify me as a freak or not? I am very conflicted on this. :)

Anyhow, Happy Friday! Hope it's great for everyone!

Do not, I repeat DO NOT look at my photo gallery

If you have a weak stomach, are eating, have any type of heart problem, or are prone to bleeding from the eyes.

There are bikini pictures up. Ugh.

So, here goes, my first official Bikini Challange post, as hosted by our lovely and looks great in a bikini Serena. 

First the stats:

Weight:

• 166.6lbs

Measurements:

• Bicep: 12.7"
• Chest: 33.5"
• Waist: 31.5"
• Hips: 41.5"
• Thigh: 23.5"

Goals:

• Reach goal by the middle of September, I have 16.6 pounds to go, and after taking a look at the pictures, I know that it all needs to go.
• TONE. Belly and thighs are the sorest spots right now, so those will be the focus. I am going to do some more research on these areas to come up with  plan... even though I know I can't really target those areas specifially.
• Actually fit in that bikini. As you can see, it is a wee small at this point. I bought it as a motivational tactic to get me going. Plus it was on clearance for $10.

Hopefully you are not blind at this point! Have a great Thursday!