I am down...3.2 pounds this week! WOW! I can't place any change, and infact ate out twice and since feeling under the weather haven't been good about getting my evening workouts in. Maybe shaking up my routine did it... who knows, but I'll take it!
I'm less than a pound away from 50 pounds lost... I have just over 20 pounds to goal. I think I may have to reasses my goal weight fairly soon though. I never thought I would say this, but I think I can be smaller than 150. My attitude since the beginning of my LSC has been that I would eat as though I am already at a healthy weight, and that my body would tell me it when it was at a comfortable spot. At this point I want to stick to this theory, I just hope that I am happy with how things look when my body says enough! If I'm not, I guess it will be a discussion of how much sacrafice it will take to get to a lower weight, and if I am willing to do that. We'll see, I guess.
OK, ok, I know! It's been days! DAYS! I spent the whole weekend cleaning house... it REALLY needed it. bleh. And work has been crazy. Also, I think Serena gave me her sore throat though, because I have been popping cough drops and sucking down tea all morning. This better not get any worse, or it will be your head, Serena! I have been thinking about you all though, and should have some time to get around to visit you all today.
I tried some bathing suits on this weekend... and was not as horrified with myself as I used to be. We are leaving for vacation in 2 and a half weeks, so I will need to get something before then, but I am trying to wait as long as possible. I have a really long torso, so it is hard for me to find a tankini that fits the way I want it too, and I don't think I am emotionally or physically ready to wear a bikini in public. But I don't want a one piece, so this could get interesting.
I noticed a couple days ago that I have the dreaded tanning bed "stripe". Meaning that my sides are not as tan as my stomach and back. Let me just tell you how Klassy that is. I tanned on my side yesterday... which defeats the pourpose of tanning imo, which is just as much about relaxing as it is for getting golden. Oh the sacrafices we make for beauty! LOL
Anyone know anything about lipotropics? You all know I am pretty against diet pills, but I had been weaseled into buying a bottle with some during a short lived stint at Pure Fitness by an overbearing trainer that reminded me a little too much like AC Slater, and I noticed them about a week ago. My very limited research has said they are herbal, and as far as I can see on the bottle they don't have any "uppers" in them. They expire this summer and I hate to waste the $20 I spent on them, but I don't want to screw myself down the line either. Internet, your thoughts?
So that's alls I gots right now. I'm working on anther post, hopefully I'll get that up later today... and WI tommorow. I really want to get to the -50 mark by the time we leave for vacation, and it looks like I am going to make it! Now I am off to visit all my buddies... have a great day!
I used to savor that extra hour (or hour and a half!) of sleep I could squeeze in after my husband left for work in the morning. It was MY time. It was sacred. The very thought of doing away with it made me anxious, and defensive. From the time that we moved in together up until about 3 and a half months ago, I would drag myself out of bed, make my husbands lunch and then fall back into the still warm duvet. DH would shower me with kisses before he left and I would mumble a sleepy I love you, usually after he was already out the door. The next 60-90 minutes were a haze of not-quite-sleeping but not anywhere close to funtioning. I loved it. You see, I am not a morning person... not at all. Even now there are mornings where I can't bring myself to doanything more than grunt at DH before he leaves---or even pick up my bed clothes off the bathroom floor wherre I have stripped them off for my morning WI. But some how---some way, I have come to really enjoy... dare I say love (!) my morning workouts at the Y. In fact, I can't even go back to sleep on the rare morning I take a day off from the gym. Instead I catch up on my blog, email, or even---gasp---clean! It is so strange, but proves to me something very important---something that has become more and more clear to me as I progress along my weight loss journey*.
For as long as I can remember, I lived my life by a set of rules. Rules that I set up for myself, rules imposed and inforced by no one other than my brain. Rules like "I CAN't work out in the worning, my bed is just too warm!", or "I have to have sugar, it keeps me going", or "I am not athletic, I just wasn't born that way". It is clear to me now that these "rules" were just a bunch of bullshit. Total and utter bullshit that I made up to justify whatever behaviour I wanted to justify. It's easy to make up rules for ourselves, and assign lables that make the excuses seem just a little more credible. The thing is, they don't help us. The I can'ts and the I have to's are nothing more than a roadblock to sucess.... And I am not just talking about exercise, although that is my focus in this post. The more rules ("I HAVE to have chocolate every day" "I CAN'T make time to workout") we have for ourselves the harder it is to be sucessful. I know, because I tried to lose weight while keeping all those rules in place. I sneared at people who worked out regularly and ate healthfully. I made up reasons why I couldn't do that, or HAD to do things my way. And I failed. Everytime I failed.
But at some point I got the hint. I started telling myself "I CAN" and "I WILL". I banished my rules, and decided to give some things another (or first!) try---this time with a positive attitude. Getting out of bed in the morning is so much easier when you stop focussing on the warm bed you are leaving behing for nesting cats, and start focussing on how good it feels to work up a sweat and burn calories, and how MUCH better it feels to see some pretty amazing results of all that work! Now, I don't miss my warm bed. I get up easily in the morning not because its a chore I HAVE to do, but a part of my day that I enjoy doing. It's still MY time... probably moreso now than when I was sleeping in, because I am really devoting time to bettering myself, to being the best I can be. Sure there are mornings where I don't especally want to go... but I still do it, because I know that in the end its what my body wants and my mind needs... just going and doing a light workout is better than nothing I always tell myself, and usually that light workout turns into a full, or even stellar workout. And some mornings I don't go... I have realized the difference between not wanting to do something and not being able to do something, and occasionally I give myself permission to be a little selfish and not workout. The brain has to win sometimes, right?
This morning, as I walked back to my car after a particularly awsome elliptical session, I realized how much I had accomplished already today. I had burned over 500 calories, ate two servings of fruit, both my milks, and half of my water for the day by 8:30. Much better than 4 moths ago when the only thing I had done by 8:30 is roll over on a cat or two and hit the snooze bar 15 times!
I am so glad I got rid of so many rules in my life. It has allowed me to do so much I never thought possible. It has let my body show me what it can do if my mind just lets it! It has made me so much happier, because its one less thing I have to keep up with. Now if only I could let go of the "I CAN'T spell" rule. :o)
Do you have any rules that might need to be outlawed? Think about it, and may bey try to let one go, I bet you'll be suprised at how great you do!
*Personally, I think the term weightloss journey is kinda hokey... I just can't for the life of me think of anything else to use in its place. Suggestions?
I am down another 1.6 pounds this week :) As long as I stay steady at this rate I will be happy. It seems like the scale has become less cooperative in the last few weeks, but maybe it's just me.
The tape doesn't lie though, and I have lost another 5.5 inches in the past month. My waist is now 32 inches... I never thought it would be. My thighs also continue to shrink, I just wish they would finally spereate from eachother!!
I hit the gym and kicked some ass this morning, and I am feeling much better than I was yesterday and over the weekend. The bad days seem so much longer than the good ones! Thanls for your kind words yesterday, they mean a lot to me. I know that I have come so so far, and I am so proud of myself.. I think thats what makes it even harder when I don't feel so great. I get mad at myself for being down on myself! Make sense? Probably not. LOL
Anyhow, hope everyone is having a great Wednesday! I have another post planned for this afternoon--hopefully I can get to it!
Bleh. Today is just not a great day, me wise. I took yesterday off to spend the day lounging in bed with my husband celebrating our first anniversary, which was lovely! But, it (and the rest of the weekends festivities) screwed up my inner clock. I didn't work out at all yesterday so this morning I was dragging and had the hardest time getting to the gym, and couldn't even finish a full mile of laps, I was just so tired (And I shouldn't be!). I feel like I haven't had a good workout in forever, but really--- Friday I swam for 50 mins, Saturday was 90 minutes of Bikram, and Sunday was a 75 min step class---I have not been slacking!!!
I have not gone off plan at all, but I'm just so not into it right now. I had some frozen yogurt, and some bread on Saturday night, and since then I have had the most killer cravings--for cookies, granola bars, pizza, fast food... but I haven't had any of it--no points for it until Thursday, after our all-out anniversary feast! The cravings and the upkeep on those cravings are draining! On top of that, the scale is not playing fair, and I am feeling fat and gross---something I haven't felt in a long time.
I know that it is VERY important for me to just hang on during this rough patch and keep plodding away on plan. I am trying to talk myself outta the slump---hopefully the scale drops the weekend weight by tomorrows WI, but even if not, its a new week then, and I can get remotivated by that, right? It's just so hard not to walk down to the 'Bux and get a blackberry green tea frappachino right now! Or McDonalds french fries... or a Pizza from PSP... UGH! STOP!!!!!! I just need to get through today and get refocussed. What do you all do when you start to feel this way? How do you trick yourself back into the game? Help me out ladies, I'm starting to flounder!
I am not very happy with my current office bathroom situation. Actually, let me re-phrase that; my bowels are not very happy about my current office bathroom situation.
At our old office we had shared bathrooms with the entire building. The bathrooms always smelled bad and after the dog-poo under the sink incident, I had to hold my breath and divert my eyes the entire time I was in the room. I also had to climb two flights of stairs to get to the bathroom. I never thought I would miss the LUXURY of those bathrooms compaired to the current situation I am faced with.
I work in an office of 5 people. Four of them are male. When we were designing our new space, it was decided that we would have one unisex bathroom to save space and money. Right away I knew what the (biggest of many many ) problem would be and lobbied long and hard for a second bathroom.. one for the girl(s). I was shot down, or told to use the bathroom in the warehouse, the one that is so grungy I refuse to go within 10 feet of it. So one bathroom was built. And the issue has already become very apparent. As I type my intestines are telling me that they want to get rid of some solid waste---but I mentally cannot psych myself up to pooping less than 10 feet from all of my coworkers, esp. when ANYONE could walk in after me and know that I be-fouled it. The relative aninymity of the public restroom, one that already smelled worse than anything I could throw at it , sounds so beautiful right about now-compared to the little box that up until wednesday housed our microwave and still has a spare task chair stored in it---and nothing but a sketch of a sink where the sink should be. And despite my best brainstorming, there is no solution in sight.
The bigger issue of course is that I fear I will screw up my system by not letting nature take its course. It took me years to be able to go number two in a public restroom at all. It was a real accomplishment to be able to go at work, and it had become a "regular" thing for me. As messed up it sounds, it feels like my bosses have taken something important away from me I have no way of approaching the subject, and am starting to get really upset about it. I have no idea how to remedy this. :(
So I went. And I sweat--- ALOT. I wore the exact same clothes you see in the picture below, and I was wearing far too much. I wanted to take off my pants in the middle of it and just do the poses in my underwear.
It was my first time taking a yoga class... ever, and I think I did pretty well. I am pretty fleable from all the pilates I have been doing for the last couple of months, and was able to keep up ok. I didn't hate it. It felt good when we were done, and I feel like I had a real workout, although being drenched in sweat will do that to a person I suppose.
I got a deal for being a new client to this studio so the rest of the week is paid for as many times as I want to go. After that I will have to decide if we can afford it (If I decide I really want to do it). Between my gym membership, tanning bed time, and all these new clothes I need, I am starting to feel like a lot of our extra money is going for me, and as much as I like that, DH may not agree 100%. The Bikram, it is not cheap. I may have to try some not-so-hot yoga at the Y and see if that will satisfy me most of the time... Sometimes being responsible sux.
I've decided to go to Bikram Yoga for the first time tonight (THANKS Serena!) My bosses' wifes go sometimes and we at the office call it HAWT YOGA... should be interesting, wish me luck!
PS, you can see me getting ready for HAWT YOGA in the second picture on the right... lookin good, eh? ;o)
I am down another 1.8lbs this week! That brings me to a total of 44.5 lbs gone and MORE than 20% of my starting weight off my body for good!
To celebrate I started tanning on Monday. I always feel great when I tan, even though it is so bad for you---but the main reason I do it is to clear up the KP (raised red bumbs) on the backs of my arms and on my legs. I have tried everything to go without UV rays, but nothing---not even exfoliating with a pumice sponge then oiling and lotioning my entire body every day made a noticable difference. There is no other proven way to get rid of KP (my dermatologist wasn't much help either, and actually reccomended short amounts of time in the sun or a tanning bed to get rid of them), so to the beds I go. I have only been once so far and already I can see the difference on my arms.
I took the day off drom the gym today, and am already bargaining with myself on how to get my cardio in today. A walk after work? Maybe hit the gym then? I refuse to let myself feel guilty about taking the day off. My body is yelling at me and telling me to slow the eff down already--I need to listen to it. Although I can't gaurantee I wont try that kickboxing class tonight... Argh!!!
I hope everyone has been having a great week! I know that a lot of you ladies are struggling---just hang in there and keep on trukin, you CAN do this! I am off to catch up with you all, and I better see some good reports! :o)
