The Post where everyone Rolls their eyes until it hurts
A year ago if someone would have told me that I would be sitting around after dinner TRYING to figure out something more to eat in order to meet my minimum calorie needs. Yeah, I know wah wah wah. Poor Sara... I am fully aware of how full circle things have come for me in the last 11 months, and I am equally aware of how ridiculous it sounds to 98% of the population, including my husband, when I complain that I am not eating enough.
**Short derailment here--I have been counting calories for several months now. In the beginning it was to supplement my Core plan eating, and to make sure I wasn't starving myself, but it has turned into the ideas of the core plan supplementing my calorie counting. For the most part, I eat Core foods, but I don't keep track of points for the non-Core foods I am eating---but my feelings on all of that is a whole other post, I think.**
It should be an easy problem to fix, right? Just eat more. Problem solved. But for me at least, it is a tough balance to make... I feel like all I do all day is eat. From the time I get up I eat every 2 to 3 hours... small meals or snacks, but no matter what I do, I end up short of what I should be getting. I end up eating a piece of cheese, an apple AND a homemade oatmeal bar after dinner many nights just to hit that magic number. Not that I'm complaining... because I'm really not, mostly.... I just need to get to the point where after dinner there is room for a snack if I want one, but that I don't have to eat a bunch of random stuff at night right before bed.
Here's the thing. I am kind of afraid to eat a lot during the day. I feel like I need to save calories for the evening "just in case". What if DH wants to go out for Ice cream? What if we end up going out to dinner with friends? It COULD happen you know! Usually it doesn't though, and I end up kinda sorta hungry most of the day... What I need to do is add a mid-morning snack, but that would mean eating 4 times at work everyday, which is just, well, it seem excessive, no? Bigger meals wont help because I get full fast these days... but hungry quick again too. I have added nuts to my pre-lunch salad, and switched from soup to something more substantial (leftovers which include a whole grain, lean protein, and veggies) for my lunch. Really, what it boils down to is that I really don't like going over my minimum daily intake suggestion AT ALL. I want to be right at that minimum number, which is all in my head, because the range is like, almost 400 calories, and if some days I am closer to the upper end of it, that's ok---I just have this fear that it's not ok. That may seem really bizarre, but in reality, its actually progress. It has taken me 3 months to be able to even eat TO my minimum calorie level without fear of gaining everything right back.... so I am further than I was at the beginning, right? :)
Getting over that fear has been a weird process, because rationally I know that I need a certain number of calories in order to contiune to fulfill my quest for total and utter fierceness (My muscle eats more calories for breakfast than fat does all day, yo) but somewhere along the way I have still picked up this fear of calories, and that just needs to stop... My body knows what it needs and if I need to eat more, I need to trust myself when the hunger pangs start, so I don't go into starvation mode---My other biggest fear of the moment. I am working on it, but I'm not quite there yet.... almost, but not quite.
Now, for some salad.... or a snack? Who knows anymore!!!
~Sara
PS: Thanks so much for the warm welcomes. I won't deny there was a part of me that thought that you-all would just ignore me! LOL What can I say, the self confidence is better than it once was, just not totally awesome. ;)
Posted By: Gvmemoment
Comments to this post:
11/30/2006 15:01
calories
I'm not at maintenance, but I really do understand trying to get the calorie count correct. I've spent many nights with many calories left and not hungry, but I do things like eat soy nut butter on apple slices. Not entirely bad, but with the amount of calories I need I'm so afraid of going into starvation mode, I look for the highest amount of calories for the least amount of food. I also know how much food makes up what calories for my day, so I tend to eat the same things all the time. It's really safe for me. It's boring, but safe.
As for the protein mix. It's Myoplex..carb smart or something like that. In chocolate and vanilla. It's made with whey protein. You can mix it with water or with milk. I like to make it in my blender with crushed ice, some sugar free syrup and it's like a shake..sort of. :) It's I think 140 calories a serving 3.5 gr. sugar...2 carbs, 25 gr. protein per serving and no sugar. It's definately not something I'd want to live on, but my schedule is insane and I NEED to eat something every 3-4 hours or my blood sugar drops and I get lightheaded and turn into a bear. SO for now this works until I can get organized and to the store and make myself of low cal. low carb. snacks to bring with me. The only thing about the whey protein is that I can't use hot water and make a hot chocolate type drink because the whey curdles....I tried adding it to my coffee...not good. LOL!
Posted By:
11/30/2006 15:45
crachers and calories
This detox diet I'm on is interesting because I don't count calories. However, I do inter everything I eat into my DietPower software program anyway, so I get a calorie count at the end of the day. It seems so far it's been 1600-1800 a day, which is way higher than I would normally eat. Weird. The book says the calories don't matter if you're eating only whole foods and such. We'll see!
I totally know how you feel!! I do that every single day. I eat only a little during the day just in case something comes up at night. Like tonight I know we are having a guest over and I don't know if that means they will want to go out or what we will be eating! It scares me so I save up for the evening. I usually end up with more WW points left before bedtime than I really should so I just end up eating a bunch of little snacks.
By the way, I just came across your blog and WOW you have done amazing! Your before and after pictures are so impressive.
Oh hey and I just noticed your from Washington! Me, too. What city? I can guess what T-Town stands for but I don't know if I'd be right. I am originally from what we used to call P-Town. hehe
I have a few friends who lost weight pretty dramatically but in a healthy way and then took it too far . . . I'm glad you are recognizing this while you are still in the fierce category! Even they recognized that they were too skinny but it's hard to stop worrying when you've been heavy for a long time and are just learning how to eat as a skinny/healthy person. I tend to err on the other side (telling myself "it's not like I eat ____ every day" but then I eat other not-so-good stuff later too) but I think you'd be okay adding more calories during the day--even with the ice cream or dinner out you'd end up at the high end of your suggested range or a little over, right? But as you say, that's easier said than done.
Anyway, it's good to hear about these things as we all need to be thinking about them even if we're not there yet. I wish I could say something more useful, but at the very least I'm definitely not rolling my eyes.
...that losing is the easy part, and maintaining is where it gets tougher. Now really, I wouldn't consider you maintaining if you keep losing like that - while you may have transitioned away from losing as being your focus, you still are ;) That said, you have at least created a bunch of wiggle room but I think you are doing just fine and need to trust yourself a little more. The proof is in the pudding - You *are* doing the right things, you have managed to lose quite a lot in a very short amount of time, you have built muscle and continue to keep a high level of fitness (which simply wouldn't be possible without adequate nutrition). Glad to see you are doing well.
I forgot to add....that you're not in "weightloss mode" anymore, so while you could lose weight fairly consistently on a certain amount of calories now that you're trying to maintain a consistent weight, you need to up your calories a bit so you won't continue to lose. I don't know if you've already adjusted your calories or not, but if not, just wanted to bring it up.
I hope you stick around. It really helps alot of us to see what it's like to transition to maintanence. :)
