It's just who I am
The last 2 mornings I have been so sore. like having a hard time walking sore. I never would have thought that after a steady regimine of working out almost everyday for 6 months that I would get this sore after finally getting back to my beloved step class that I missed for several weeks in a row, but I am! Anywhoos, sore. Monday morning I was also mega sleepy, and I just felt like I couldn't make it to the gym. I went back to bed and woke up about 45 minutes later. Before I even really realized what I was doing, I was in my gym clothes, and on the way to the Y. I didn't want to miss my upper arm weights morning, I guess. It is mornings like yesterday that make me realize just how different I am today than I was 7 months ago. In many ways I am totally different, and that scares me sometimes. I hate that I might be one of THOSE skinny people who obsess over everything that goes in their mouth, and put on an aura of being better than other people for whatever reason. There is still some struggle there to figure this all out.
I went shopping this weekend, and am happy to report that I am a very solid 8 at this point. I even tried on and fit (tightly) into a pair of size 6 jeans (size 6!!!) but didn't bring them home with me. I did bring home a pair of capris that just last week when I tried them on were too tight in the thighs, but seem to fit better now, and a couple of Polo shirts in size M that when I looked at them on the hanger thought would never fit... but do! It is still weird to look at clothes, I seem to go the wrong direction, and start at the 14's and 12's until I realize that I need a smaller size than last time, not BIGGER like was the case for so long. I am still having a problem with bathing suits though. I am looking for one to wear in september (I am assuming that the bikini I have for the challange still won't pass my test at that point) and am really struggling. I don't know how these things are supposed to fit. Are tankikins supposed to show some skin? Why do all the bottoms either fall off me or dig into the remaining fat on my hips? Why don't more suits have a tie in the back instead of a latch, don't they know I have the worlds biggerest ribcage ever?! Ahhhhhh!!!! I need to take a bathing suit shopping course, I think!