Shredded Wheat

I have been craving Shredded wheat since we stayed with my parents pack in cleveland 2 weeks ago. The plain shredded wheat, not the frosted. I finally got some yesterday, and just finished up a bowl with a tiny bit of splenda on the top. YUM! I never ever ever in a million years thought I would like shredded wheat, much less CRAVE it, but I guess that proves the theory that you preffer what you choose... for me at least!

I bought a new outfit to workout in yesterday, both the shorts and the top were mediums, and as much as I can't wrap my head around it, I think I should have tried on a small in the shorts. I have never worn a small. ever. And I never thought I would. But, I might... and that freaks me out a little. You see, most of the time I still feel the same about my body as I did when I was 220 pounds. I don't *feel* smaller most of the time. I still grab for XLs or 12-14s in the store, even though I sucessfully tried on some 8s a few weeks back and they fit like a dream. It's weird, because people look at me now--Check me out, as my husband would say. I always think I have boogers or something though, because I am just not used to it. On top of that, I worry that I will go back to what I was. And that scares me more. I don't want to become the girl at the gym that RUNS from machine to machine, and cranks out 30 minutes on each with the resistance maxed out because she is afraid of letting her heart rate drop, even though she is so thin she really needs to stop and eat something for God's sake (There is a woman like this at the Y, she is probably 6 feet tall and because I snooped once when she got on an elliptical, I know she weight 137... and its all muscle.)! There is a middle ground, and I just need to find it... but first I need to become more comfortable with my body.

I am going to start posting my food an exercise again, for accountability. And I am shamlessly stealing the cool kids "in" and "out" idea.

In:

S: Banana

B: Shredded wheat with skim milk and splenda, NF Latte, HB Egg

S:Pineapple and watermelon

L:Couscsous with leftover steak, salsa, and sour cream

S: Carrots

D:Carne con Chile Verde y Papas

Out:

45mins elliptical

15mins Weights (upper)

30min BB DVD (lower)

Luckily...

Or maybe unluckily for me, I don't have to deal with this problem yet. Even though I have lost over 38 pounds, my pants size only dropped slightly. At 213, I used to wear 18 or 20 pants. Now, at 175, I can wear a 16. This is a bit upsetting, truth be told, but I know that it takes forever to lose weight in the hip and thigh area. It is usually the last to go. And of course, as luck would have it, these are my biggest problem areas.

I can only imagine what you are going thru with seeing yourself 'not skinny' though to everyone else, you are. Just keep trying on those single digit clothes. You'll get used to your fierce self soon! You will not go back up to your old weight. The changes you've made in eating, exercise and lifestyle are not a fluke. You are changing your life and how you live it! Do not be afraid!! Take a deep breath and smile! Look at how far you've come!!

you are looking great!!!!

i just wanted to stop by to tell you how great you are doing!!!  you have worked hard and it has paid off, do not even think about buying xl clothes. how in the world could you not feel smaller??   keep up the great work and dont get too skinny! :)  you motivate me!!!

listen to my experience

I totally understand what you're saying...you pull at my heart! I've been where you are and PLEASE listen to what I have to say. I've gained more weight then I ever thought I would. I too, was a size 6/8 and "in my head" I never knew it. I was raised in a very strict setting. the men in my family held me down because they knew what my potential was. I was raised believing i was not attractive and I was heavy. This was their why of "safeguarding" me, if you will.  Please, please, please know that I have NO reason to control you in any way and I'm telling you, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  Your body is becoming that which you've been dreaming. Your dreams are becoming alive. Revel in it. You've earned it. People are looking at you because you're looking good. Hold your head up and act like you own the place!!!! It's your's.
Don't relax with this thinking you don't have to work at it anymore...you will. It's a life long commitment. Think of it as going to the dentist or the gyno...you maintain certain things about your life because it's important.
Please, don't go on 10 years down the road and you're at 220 again. I never knew I was as hot as I was. Now looking back at those pics...my god, I was breathless. Know you are too, RIGHT NOW, in this time frame!
The sooner you "know" in your head and your heart that you're who you are now, the sooner the worries will be gone. Stay strong Lil' Sister. You're there. You just have to sculp now and that's the easy part. Look at what you've already accomplished!

repost, I think

I swear I posted to you this morning about how I went shopping this weekend and took stuff in size 6 to the dressing room because I knew that was what fit last time, yet still toted in a size 12 just in case. :)  Our minds need a long time to catch up to our bodies sometimes.

Also I seem to remember telling you that your attitude indicates that "overexercising skeletor" is not in your future, but that we'll let you know if those bikini pics look too bony! 

Joining the Club

I'm joining the SaraSquared club of bringing the wrong size clothes to the changeroom.  I say you should have tried the small if nothing else for the fun of it - but I do think it's attainable for you.  I think you do have a pretty healthy attitude towards your weight loss journey and I have a hard time seeing you become gym obsessed like that nut on the elliptical.

cutting them open

Thanks for the idea about cutting them open.  That's a good one.

I've been craving cereal like crazy too!!  Corn chex and last week honey nut cheerios!