Do you know the Muffin Man?
Thanks you all, for the kind words yesterday. I can promise you that there are no plans for de-fiercification around these parts! I guess what it comes down to is this: When I first made the decision to lose weight and be healthy I knew it was for life---that my new view of food, and how I use it to fuel my body, wouldn't change. BUT (and boy is it a big one! ;) ) I thought there would come a point where I would say to myself, or even out loud "Yup, I'm done making my body and my health better! From now on it's just maintenance!" after which festivities would insue. During the last four and a half months I have come to realize that that just isn't going to happen. I will probably never get to a point where I feel there is nothing left to do to better myself. I will always be working towards something else, whether that be a smaller number on the scale, a smallet amount of tape used to get around my waist, or a larger percentage of muscle mass (or fiercness ratio, as it were). This is something that IMO is a good thing!
I'll lay it on the line for you. Right now, today I weigh less than I ever remember weighing in my adult life. I know that I am in better physical condition than I have ever been before. I love my body. I am ridiculously proud of myself for doing so much to better myself. I am so thankful for this awesome gift I have given myself. I am not perfect, and I never will be. But I can strive to be the best I can be, and that is what I plan on doing. When I said I may need to re-asses my goal weight when I get there, I may have mis-spoke, because honestly? I still think that me in the 140's is an impossibility. What I ment was that once I reach goal, it won't be the end of the line. I won't be "done" heading toward healthy. Once I reace goal I will have to take a long look at myself, see where I'm at, what parts I'm happy with, and what parts I want to improve. Rather than losing more weight, my plan as of right now is that I will work towards toning and building MORE muscle, while maintaing (No, I don't plan on getting too big!).
Yes, it may be a bit premature to be looking past Goal, but honestly, Goal scares the shit outta me. Goal seems like the finish line... and I don't want it to be. I want it to be more like a little bathroom stop or water station in the marathon... not the end of the race. I fear that if I stop working, I will turn around and start heading away from healthy, back from where I came. Constant awareness of where I am and what I am working for is what keeps me going, so there will always have to be something more or I will backslide.
And there will always be something more. I have said it before, but we are all our own worst critics. We see things other people don't. In fact, the current me sees things the old me wouldn't see. Or things that she would see in a different light. To a personwith 70 pounds to get rid of, a stomach that looks like mine does currently is a beautiful thing. To a person less than 20 pounds left, its big and flabby, and why won't it firm, dammit?! To a person who can't swim a full lap without stopping, a mile of laps is a big deal, no matter how it gets done. To a more seasoned swimmer, its about stroke length, breaths taken, and speed.
I still have muffin top issues with some pants, even when the fit properly everywhere else. I am optimistic that by the time I get to goal, the muffin-topage will be a thing of the past, but if they aren't they are the first area of assult once Goal is reached. Other issues, like the flab on my lower arms (it's there people---don't tell me it isn't, I will go pinch it right now if I have to!), and the small amount of "cheese" left on my outter thighs, are going to get more attention then. These "advanced level courses" should keep me busy for awile, I assume, as it is difficult to target just one area like that. I am planning on rewarding myself on getting to goal by getting at least a few sessions with a personal trainer so that I can get some more customised insight on how to make me even better.
I also have started entertaining thoughts about entering a triathalon, or seeing about getting into Masters Swimming. These are goals that can keep repeating themselves, and will keep me from getting bored and falling back to old habits, which is really what this is all about right?
Hope everyone is having a great thursday... TGIF tommorow!