I used to savor that extra hour (or hour and a half!) of sleep I could squeeze in after my husband left for work in the morning. It was MY time. It was sacred. The very thought of doing away with it made me anxious, and defensive. From the time that we moved in together up until about 3 and a half months ago, I would drag myself out of bed, make my husbands lunch and then fall back into the still warm duvet. DH would shower me with kisses before he left and I would mumble a sleepy I love you, usually after he was already out the door. The next 60-90 minutes were a haze of not-quite-sleeping but not anywhere close to funtioning. I loved it. You see, I am not a morning person... not at all. Even now there are mornings where I can't bring myself to doanything more than grunt at DH before he leaves---or even pick up my bed clothes off the bathroom floor wherre I have stripped them off for my morning WI. But some how---some way, I have come to really enjoy... dare I say love (!) my morning workouts at the Y. In fact, I can't even go back to sleep on the rare morning I take a day off from the gym. Instead I catch up on my blog, email, or even---gasp---clean! It is so strange, but proves to me something very important---something that has become more and more clear to me as I progress along my weight loss journey*.
For as long as I can remember, I lived my life by a set of rules. Rules that I set up for myself, rules imposed and inforced by no one other than my brain. Rules like "I CAN't work out in the worning, my bed is just too warm!", or "I have to have sugar, it keeps me going", or "I am not athletic, I just wasn't born that way". It is clear to me now that these "rules" were just a bunch of bullshit. Total and utter bullshit that I made up to justify whatever behaviour I wanted to justify. It's easy to make up rules for ourselves, and assign lables that make the excuses seem just a little more credible. The thing is, they don't help us. The I can'ts and the I have to's are nothing more than a roadblock to sucess.... And I am not just talking about exercise, although that is my focus in this post. The more rules ("I HAVE to have chocolate every day" "I CAN'T make time to workout") we have for ourselves the harder it is to be sucessful. I know, because I tried to lose weight while keeping all those rules in place. I sneared at people who worked out regularly and ate healthfully. I made up reasons why I couldn't do that, or HAD to do things my way. And I failed. Everytime I failed.
But at some point I got the hint. I started telling myself "I CAN" and "I WILL". I banished my rules, and decided to give some things another (or first!) try---this time with a positive attitude. Getting out of bed in the morning is so much easier when you stop focussing on the warm bed you are leaving behing for nesting cats, and start focussing on how good it feels to work up a sweat and burn calories, and how MUCH better it feels to see some pretty amazing results of all that work! Now, I don't miss my warm bed. I get up easily in the morning not because its a chore I HAVE to do, but a part of my day that I enjoy doing. It's still MY time... probably moreso now than when I was sleeping in, because I am really devoting time to bettering myself, to being the best I can be. Sure there are mornings where I don't especally want to go... but I still do it, because I know that in the end its what my body wants and my mind needs... just going and doing a light workout is better than nothing I always tell myself, and usually that light workout turns into a full, or even stellar workout. And some mornings I don't go... I have realized the difference between not wanting to do something and not being able to do something, and occasionally I give myself permission to be a little selfish and not workout. The brain has to win sometimes, right?
This morning, as I walked back to my car after a particularly awsome elliptical session, I realized how much I had accomplished already today. I had burned over 500 calories, ate two servings of fruit, both my milks, and half of my water for the day by 8:30. Much better than 4 moths ago when the only thing I had done by 8:30 is roll over on a cat or two and hit the snooze bar 15 times!
I am so glad I got rid of so many rules in my life. It has allowed me to do so much I never thought possible. It has let my body show me what it can do if my mind just lets it! It has made me so much happier, because its one less thing I have to keep up with. Now if only I could let go of the "I CAN'T spell" rule. :o)
Do you have any rules that might need to be outlawed? Think about it, and may bey try to let one go, I bet you'll be suprised at how great you do!
*Personally, I think the term weightloss journey is kinda hokey... I just can't for the life of me think of anything else to use in its place. Suggestions?
Posted By: Gvmemoment
Comments to this post:
05/04/2006 01:37
wlj
I just call it WLJ - because that's what it is, but you're right, its hokey after awhile. Besides, its too damn long to write.
So I just have to say: Holy crap - you are like 6 inches taller than me and have about the same waist size as me. Way to go you!!! I'm at around 29-30, but remember, I'm a shrimp. So you must look as hot as your picture, even if you keep denying it!!! That's so excellent.
I meant to comment the other day about one of your posts, with the anniversary stuff. First year of marriage is a BFD - don't feel guilty for indulging! You'll never have your first 1 year anniversary again, its worth celebrating. Heck, when I turn 30 in Sept, you think I'm going to be counting anything?!
For example, "the change" = menopause. Ummm... I've been trying to name what I'm doing too and not coming up with anything less cheesy. Losing proposition? Fitness conversion?Lose-Win situation?
I love this discussion of rules. One of the rules I had to give up was "I can't run." Rules I'm still working on are "I can't work out at the gym on weekends" and "I can't go to bed at 10" (and it's companion "I can't go to bed without DF"), which leads to "I can't work out early in the morning." "I must eat chocolate every day" is one I'm not yet willing to give up, even if it is just sugar-free jello pudding or a fudgsicle. I'm also working on "I can't 'diet' in front of my mom," which is a silly rule since I only think of this thing we're doing as a diet when I'm around her.
Yay for breaking the rules and enjoying your new freedom!
your blog was really inspiring. congrats on your weight loss! you look great ! i too have had a lot of excuses , i think my main problem was that i had convinced myself that i was meant to be fat and that i could not lose the weight. i look at pictures from 4 years ago and cannot believe that i have allowed myself to tranform from what i used to be to what i am now. i never use the "term weight loss journey". i prefer " tired of being fat". i have felt this way for a few years now. but now i am ready to do something about it. keep up the good work.
I wansn't playing by my own rules this week. You made me see that. Thank you for your thoughtful messages on my blog. They have helped me to see myself more clearly. Check it out again for my latest update! I think you will be happy with what you read. Thanks again. Sometimes people have just gotta get kicked in the head once in a while!
I think you hit a particular nail squarely on its head. I think we have all had those justifying excuses in our lives. Now that we're on the "other side" it's so easy to see people we know using them. At the work lunch table people ask me about my diet and exercise all the time, them proceed to tell me why that wouldn't work for THEM. Sometimes, I'll actually say, "People do what they want to do." This has been my all purpose phrase to debunk people's excuses. Almost eveyone has time to exercise--they just have to give up precious personal time, just like you did. They can do it if they want to.
I had all the legitimate excuses in the world to not lose weight, I thought. Bad health, joint problems, insulin resistance, poor metabolism. Finally, it occured to me that those were the reasons I gained weight, not the reason I can't lose weight. The condiditons just make it difficult, not impossible.
Hey, this gives me an idea for a post of my own . . .
Great post! I feel like I could have written most of that myself even right down to the cats and the warm bed. I'm not quite at the same point of metamorphosis that you are, but I see it coming, and I only hope I can embrace it as well as you have. Although, I know I won't be getting up before work to go hop on an elliptical because my gym thankfully isn't open that early (though I am not sure anyone should be up at 4:50 in the morning either).
Hey...sorry, but I've always loved mornings when I've beena ble to get halfway decent sleep the night before - this morningI'm kicking myself because (though I know I needed sleep) I slept till 8:30 - and the kids slept till 9:15 (one actually is still sleeping). THINK of all the time I could have had if I'd gotten out of bed! ARGH!
Your morning sounds beautiful and products - hope you enjoy many like it :)
you just light a huge fire under me.. Many many Thanks!!! your right why does everything haver to be a rule.. I love it!!! just what i needed this morning. so how about weight lose attitude, or determination, success, mission, life change, change for life
I so wish I could lie in in the morning, but with two kids to be at school by 8:00 and a bus stop by 8:10, one of whom takes forever to rouse himself if I don't stay on top of it, I can't. So that rule is not a problem for me. Realised though I had made some new rules. Like: Can't start exercising after a bad back until all the pain is completely gone! Total utter rubbish! Just have to be careful. Thanks
