Feeling loads better today, although I wasnt this morning, I still seem to be pretty up and down.
Dad came out of hospital this morning, which I'm really pleased about. i had to go with mam as she cant manage the wheelchair very well. Its still wierd seeing my dad looking so weak, but I'm trying not to think about it.
When I came back I went on my wii fit for a bit, doing some of the muscle workouts that I had never tried before. And I've lost anothe lb :) Yay. Cant use my gym at the mo as the floor isnt finished yet. BF's dad coming over later to finish it off.
I'm off to a dance class tonight (I hope, I have a touch of cystitis so it really depends on that shifting) which will be my first dance class since I was 10. This is dance based on musical theatre, which I love so I'm really looking forward to it. Although it is described as "Fast paced" and I'm not sure how I'll cope with that.
So, all in all feeling pretty good. The eating thing still isnt going to well, but one step at a time.
Having a really tough time at the mo and just feel like I'm constantly moaning.
On top of the pressure of the docs visit on wed, my dad was taken into hospital on Sat night. He has heart failure and was only supposed to live until last Christmas, he's really not well but has not seemed at deaths door until now. Terrifying. Dont know how my mam will cope if he dies. Going with her to visit him around 3, really hard trying to be strong for her.
Its kinda knocked me for 6, I have loads of stuff to do but I just want to sit here and lose myself. Boyfriend is being amazing though, really helping me to keep smiling.
On top of this I have this kinda tired all the time thing going on. From about an hour after I wake up I'm absolutely shattered and could just lie down and go to sleep. Yesterday I slept till 12.30pm (which is not like me AT ALL) got up, made lunch, slept on settee till 3 then went to bed again till 6 then was back in bed at 11. And today i'm still tired.
Anyway, I've done no exercise or paid any attenetion to my food for days, back on the wagon tomorrow with a dance class I'e wanted to try for ages
I'm off sick from work atm, have been since January due to severe work related stress. I'm a teacher and really feel that I have been bullied out of my job. I'm handing in my resignation this week but cant officially leave till august. My doc is happy to keep me signed off until then, its been so bad.
Got a letter yesterday saying that the LEA want me to go to see their doctor. Which probably means they are going to try to force me to go back. Just thinking about it makes my breathing hard and I start to shake, just want to cry. Had very little contact from the school since I left, it would be hellish going back. Terrified.
Appointment is wed, dont know how I'm going to get through it.
Yay, stuff is getting done! Not weight related stuff, but stuff none the less.
I'm having a bbq/party on sat and hav currently got a gardner sorting out my garden, which I have not touched since I moved in in Dec, the grass is up to his knees!! He's gonna come once a fortnight and do it for a fiver, cant complain at that!
Upstairs my boyfriend and his dad are laying new laminate flooring in what will eventually be my gym. I love having a 3 bedroom house with just the two of us, means we have a hobby room and a gym. I have a second hand treadmill and a trampette, stepper and cross trainer. I have a multigym arriving soon. They will be in the room along with my PC which will basically be being used as an overpriced juke box.
I have spent all morning sorting out my car, which has been off the road for about 2 months. It isnt sorted yet as it needs a battery which I'm getting after 3, but it is still progress.
One Jays dad has gone I am planning on lifting all of the furnature in the living room and doing the floor and rearranging to find space for my new hamster, Pob.
So, Havent really had time to do anything exercise wise today but also have not had time to eat. feeling good
Feeling really down today. Been on my wii fit and I've put on 5lbs since I got it 20 days ago. Not sure how. Not sure what to do about it.
Did the jogging on my treadmill which was really good, made me do 5mph rather than walking at my usual 3/3.5. Although I did only do it for 2 mins, I'll still have to go on later and do a mile or so. Just walking though. The way I see it anything on top of the nothing I usually do has to be advantagous.
Going out for lunch with my mam also, which is not great when I'm in this state of mind. I wish i could pull myself up.
At the enf of Febuary I came to a decision, it was time to lose weight. I'm a typical yo yo dieter, sounds like a good idea, lose a bit get bored and give up. In an attempt to make myself stick to it I signed up for the race for life. I thought that would make me stick in, surely.
And then I forgot about it, I did nothing. No, thats not true, I once walked a mile on my treadmill. Its a 3 mile run... hmmm...
So, the race was on Sunday. And I walked it but I finished. And I was proud of myself. I did it in under and hour and that was good enough for me. But next year I want to run it, 30 mins. Thats the target.
However, that means keeping it up. Its taken me until today to get over sunday (its worth noing I was out walking in the forest for 5 hours after the race) so tomorrow is run day. I figure I'll go for a mile at a faster pace and build up.
