the start or is this the middle

Ok the 1st of august has being and gone and i have dramatically cut down on my food since then but i still havent been strict with myself or done any exercise what so ever.  Then it hit me yesterday...I had a massive argument with my boyfriend and i was really upset then on top of that I was also feeling down because i put all the weight back on and felt really fat/ugly/disgusting and very unconfident then it hit me.....I cant change the fact I am upset because of the argument as it is what it is and if he pisses me off then thats sometimes out of my control. 

But my weight....that is something i can control,  I am upset with my weight because i make myslef upset i cant blame my family cant blame my boyfriend noone forces me to place that 3rd chocolate bar in my mouth.   I am the only person who is hindering my happiness when it comes to my weight and i am the only one who can change this.  So yesterday i got my arse of the couch and walked the dreaded 30 minutes walk into town and back to buy a new exercise DVD as i left my usual back in Hull.  So now i have no excuse i can exercise, i can eat healthy because this is something i can control.  

Oh yeah and got weighed this morning (i have decided to change my weigh in to the mornings so get it out the way as soon as i get up in the morning).  I weighed 12 stone and half a pound so not as bad as i thought fingers crossed to be back in the 11 stoners next week :)))

Woohoo :D

Congrats on nearly making the 11s - next week we can have a little dance as you hit that barrier.

It's always about control - taking stock of what you can and cannot influence.  I find that turning the upset/anger into stubborness is working for me right now - someone upsets me I try to think "Right you, I'm going to lose weight and make you look like an ugly cow's backside".  Yes, it vicious but it's deliciously liberating hehe  Of course, that anger never lasts long but it has stopped me stuffing my face over the last month when people have upset me.

Keep up the good work

hey :)

Well going off track is so human. As I read your post I thought my word this is me!

But its always good to come to a realization that its your body and though people and things stress us out they are not the ones that force us to eat and we can control our weight. It will be hard but not impossible.

Im happy that you see that the damage is not as bad as you imagined. And that you have willed yourself to get on track.

Just remember that we can do it!