I need to take control of something in my life...I came to this conclusion today at work...I was talking to a lady I work with, and she made me realize that I need control of me..I am spinning downward again, and I don't want to go there again. I have been struggling with issues, and to be honest it has effected my eating..I am back up to 225 pounds...WTF...I made an appointment with a dietician at my clinic...I need help learning how to eat properly, how to make realistic purchases at the store and still manage to help my whole family eat better and feel better. My daughter is going out for cheerleading and she has decided that she needs to eat better also, I want a baby, I want to be healthier....I would love to be rich but oh well.I make ends meet barely sometimes but you know what oh well....I don't have to have the coolest gadgets, or a super fancy car...what I need is to be healthy, to watch and help my children grow into smart, caring, educated people who will make a change is this world....I am not going to care anymore that my exhusband is an A@@hole, and just because he is miserable in his life, he doesnt need to make mine miserable, I am tired of fighting with him about the kids...either you help or you don't whatever...they live with me by choice, they both are doing wonderful in school....my daughter who has never wanted to go out for anything has decided that she wants to try cheerleading...(she just came to live with me this summer, my son has been with me for 4 years, my youngest daughter still lives with her dad and he doesnt let me see her as much but I still love her and just hope she is happy being with her dad)...I am not going to care that my mother in law throws how much she spends on my sister in law or what she has bought herself....I am done trying to keep up with the jones' so to speak...what I do care about is getting my butt under 200 pounds and down to my ultimate goal of 145 by next christmas...I know what I need to do with my life and I am going to do it...I am tired of this life....I am ready for a change...I know this probably doesn't make much sense to anyone but me, but you know what I don't care....I am here for me....if I meet friends along the way I would feel blessed, but I am and will become the best me I can be...I will be a good mom, a wonderful wife, a terrific friend to those I have, I will be a better daughter to my parents without them I wouldn't be where I am today, I will be the best that I can be at work, I will be nicer to my patients ( am nice now, but sometimes the crabby ones can be trying).....I want to be better..I know I have it in me to turn my life around...I love my life and now I am going to love me
Well, I can see that I have been slacking in the posting department. And I can tell that I am not doing very well in the weight department either I have just over 2 months to get myself under 200 pounds for my doctor appointment. I know I can do it I just have to beat this little funk I am in. I have been very depressed lately about some issues that I am having at home. Nothing bad but I am just tired of worrying about money all the time. So I am making a pact with myself today that I am going to get back on the road to better health both mental and physical. I have a wonderful job, one that I have been wanting for such a long time, and I am thinking about picking up a second part time job just to make it through the holidays. That way I don't have to worry about how I am goiing to pay for things. My daughter and I have decided to make all of our xmas presents this year. It will mean more that they are hand made and that way they will be a little less expensive. We are having to postpone something very important to me until next year at this time. But oh well, I will lose the weight and we will try to have a baby next year. I think that is why I am so depressed, just when I think things are moving forward for us something happens and we go back ten steps. My transmission went out in my van and my hubby's car needs a new fuel pump. It couldn't come at a worse time. But oh well right it is just a step back, we will continue to move forward. Sometimes it is just easier said then done. I am going to get back on the weight watchers band wagon, and start exercising agian. I am GOING to weigh 195 by Dec 2...............I CAN DO THIS.......no more letting myself get down. Has anyone ever went and spoke to a "professional" before?..sometimes I think that would help me get some of these feelings that I can't talk to my hubby about. Well I had better run, I have lots do do...Good luck to ya all.
Well another day is here...I didn't do as good as I wanted yesterday, but today is a new day. I have done better, and I am going to water aerobics tonight..or at least to walk on the treadmill. I got my new job, I start monday. No more weekends or holidays or evenings for me. The job comes with great benefits, the starting pay is ok a quarter more than I am making now, and I will get a raise after my probabtion period. I am keeping this job for life. I get to finally put my college education to good use..(but yet I can't figure out how to get my font to type in color??...hmmm).....not much else to post. I just want to get to my goal of 199 by december 2, that is what is keeping me going to the gym. Plus now with regular hours I think I will start going to the gym every morning. Might as well I have to go that way for work anyway, in fact the gym is only about 2 blocks from my work. I think that I might try something different next week. In the mornings there is a cardio mix class from 6-645 I do believe, I start work at 7:45, that should give me enough time to shower and get to work on time. I am getting a haircut tomorrow and I am opting for something short and easy to maintain but yet looks like I spent forever in front of the mirror. Well I had better run Take care everyone and best of luck to you all.
Well I started weight watchers today. I didn't actually go to a meeting but I did have all of the materials I had from when I went several months ago. It worked for me then, hopefully it will help me get to onederland before to long. I have 10 pounds to go. The first few weeks I was on weight watchers I lost an average of 4 pounds a week. I just can't wait to get under 200 pounds. I will be jumping for joy when my scale reads 199...It is a ways from where I want to be but it sounds so much better than 209. I have to go back to the doctor in December, the first time I went in I weighed 224 then I was down to 215. It would be great when I go in December if I could be under 200 pounds. I want to show my doctor that I am serious about losing weight to have a baby. Then hopefully when he sees that I have lost weight he will try to better figure out what is wrong with my irregular TOM. Sorry TMI I know. He just simply told me that I was overweight and that is why my TOM is so irregular. Could be but I sitll think that there might be more to it. The biggest loser is on tonight...I love that show...it gives me hope. Man if I could pull an Ali I would probably faint...well..I would be super proud of myself. I just wish I could be a little better at the eating. That is why I went back to weight watchers. Having so many points to eat in a day and that is it worked before. I am doing pretty good on the excercise part, I have been going about 4 times a week. I have started water aerobics agian. Monday and wednesday nights. And then two days a week I try to walk on the treadmill...well I had better go and do something useful. I am stressing about waiting to hear about a job. And trying really hard not to eat the cookies that are in the cookie jar. Well best of luck to you all.
Wow..so many changes. Very nice some of them are going to a little tricky in learning how to manuever. Like the color tab. I hate typing in black, and I can't get it to change colors. But I must get back on track. Tonight is the season premiere of THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!!!!...I am SOOO excited, I think that I am driving my family insane with the fact that I have been reminding them everyday how many days until the Biggest loser. I have been doing really well with exercising, I have been maintaining my 209 though. I haven't been super good about eating. I have tried to make sure I don't over eat. I just eat a small portion of whatever we are having for summer. I have been honestly better about exercising then I have my eating. I have been going to water aerobics and also just walking on the treadmill. I am thinking about trying a pilates class today. There is one at 5:30 tonight. It is an hour long which means I will get home in time for TBL. Well I should really get off here and get some housework done. Take care and good luck to everyone.
Geez I can't believe how long its been since I posted..well I have 9 pounds to go to get to my first goal..200 pounds...I still have a long ways to go but just getting to 200 will be a major milestone for me...I have been getting in the habit of exercising..I have only missed one day since sunday..I have taken 2 water aerobics classes and the rest of the time I have been walking on the treadmill..everday bumping it up one notch...the biggest loser starts tuesday..yeah I am so excited...that will give me more motivation...I go back to the Dr. in december and I am hoping by then to be down to 190....that gives me 3 months to lose like around 20 pounds..I know I can do it if I keep my mind to it..well I had better get to bed it is kinda getting late for me..I got a new job so i have to get up earlier than i use to ..kinda sad now that i think about it..9:00 use to be early...but now it is late for me..does this mean i am getting old?...good luck to you....
Well where has the time gone...I can't believe that I haven't blogged in forever..I went to the Dr. yesterday and he was happy with my weight loss progress...I have to go back in 3 months...so hopefully I can really surprise him with my progress..I have a wedding on Sept 20 and I really wanted to be down to 200 by the wedding..so I have just under a month to drop 10 pounds...I can do it..I am going back to weight watchers I have decided...I start a new job on tuesday...YEAH...I hated my other job..well not the job but I worked with this girl who was such a bitch...I really think I am going to like my new job...it has better hours than the last one..the pay is the same and I also will have a chance to get help with school...but I have to be there for one year which will be easy...well I had better run I need to make a grocery list for the next couple of weeks...school starts here on tuesday for my kids so I won't have to have so much food to buy..they will be gone for a great portion of the day..and they like to eat breakfast at school...so I just have to worry about weekends and suppers...well I had better run...take care everyone and best of luck to you all.
This is a continuation to my blog from the other day....and I have to say that YES opportunity knocks...and if your smart you will answer...I finally found a job that has endless opportunity for me...and I took it...YEAH for me...I am so excited..in my interview (which was over 1 hour)...I explained about my frustrations with my job now...and how it was pretty much the reason I was leaving...(lack of management that can actually manage)..and I get to be THE BOSS!!!!!!!.........I know it comes with alot of responsibilty but I am ready for it...I am at the stage in life where I finally know the path I want to take...why did it have to happen when I am so old though...(34)...it will require me to get some further education..but he said that he would be willing after some time to help with the cost of what I need to finish to get my RN license....so my life is finally coming full circle..I am losing weight..at a slower pace than I want...but the point is I am losing...God truly is blessing me now...after a rough time for the past I don't know how many years and alot of bad decisions I feel my life is finally falling into place...I have been praying and trying to keep a positive attitude and maybe just maybe it is going to work for me....YEAH...I told my husband a little while ago that I got the job..and he was so happy for me...we have had so many ups and downs but we have just kept going and now we are maybe going to finally make it...well enough babbling I should get back to work...I finally have my vehicle back so I can start going to the gym in the mornings before work...it has been almost a week since I got to go...I have a Dr. appointment august 28th and I am sure hoping that I can be down a total of 15 pounds since my last appointment...if i stick with the things I am doing now I should be close to that goal..I have until Sept. 21 to be at 200 or less...for my sil wedding...well I had better get back to work..take care everyone and best of luck for whatever your path my be..
Today I think it does. For the past month or so I have really been wanting a different job. I don't mind the one I have now, it isn't what I thought it was going to be and now that we are under new management, I just don't know if I want to stay. I went to town this morning to run some errands and I left my cell phone at home. When I got home there was a message from a company that pulled my resume up on our states job bank website. I just updated it a few weeks ago, with my current information. Well anyway the man told me where he got my resume and what he was looking for and asked me what I was looking for. Well one thing led to another and I have a job interview tomorrow morning at 8:30 am. I am going into this with an open mind and if it isn't what I want then I won't take it..I already have a job and I can wait it out until I find the perfect job that is exactly what I want and hope that it is in the pay range I need. Well I had better get going. I havent been to the gym today, but I will go tomorrow I am really really sore still from my cycling class. My thighs hurt like you wouldn't believe...soon the Biggest Loser will be back on tv...YEAH I love that show...well I had better go pay bills....take care
Two posts in one day...can we say bored...I am at work and it has been so slow here today...we have only had 4 patients....good thing I am not at home..if I were at ho me and I was this bored I would find a way to either make something unhealthy (choco chip cookies anyone?)...or I would make an excuse to drive into town and go to the store and end up coming home with way more than I needed..and also having stopped to have ice cream....I am just itching to go to the gym...tomorrow is my day off and I want to go real bad..but the brakes in my van are BAD BAD BAD...and I don't think I should have even driven to work today...my son has been driving my van for the past two months cuz he ruined his car and I wasn't going to buy him a new one....and now there are so many things going wrong with my vehicle...I am so frustrated with that kid..he thinks that he should just be able to run run run whenever he wants...not do any chores around the house..and what not..typical teenage stuff...would I be a bad mom if sometimes I couldn't wait for him to move out...maybe a dose of reality (life) would be good for him...he is so much like his dad it isn't funny. I am so glad that we aren't married anymore...boy I knew the day i married him it was a mistake but I didn't want to disappoint anyone so I still married the SOB....but 3 wonderful kids came out of that marriage..I just can't wait till all 3 are 18 and I won't have to deal with him anymore..he constantly talks bad about my new hubby to the kids when in fact he is 10x's a better parent to them then their real dad...but anyway..these are one of the reasons I go to the gym...work off my aggravation. I have noticed it helps me to not get to depressed over some of the things that we are going through...our marriage is wonderful so it isn't personal things...but sometimes I get a little down because we don't have alot of money...we just bought a house a year ago and both of us could use newer cars, we both are employed granted we don't make a whole lot but doesn't every couple start out in a similar position..I look back to how much my parents struggled at first. And now they are doing so much better...I keep telling myself that we are doing better than we were last summer...and that if I stay positive things will keep getting better....well I suppose I should get off of here and try to find something constructive to do here at work.......well have a great rest of the day everyone....
