| Height: | 0.0cm |
| Start weight: | 399.00lb |
| Current weight: | 380.00lb |
| Goal weight: | 175.00lb |
| Lost to date: | 19.00lb |
| Remaining: | 205.00lb |
| 26 |
| May '12 |
| < | May | > | ||||
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | ||
Not much to report. It's 1pm and I've had NS oatmeal and a banana. I need to drink more water!
I had a chai latte from a coffee place and I think the chai mix may have had some calories I should have avoided. :(
Weighed myself again today, even though I said I wouldn't. I so need to get rid of this scale!!!!
I had an okay day. Had oatmeal for breakfast, one banana as well. For lunch I had salad at Chuck E. Cheese. I had dressing (Said it was Fat free) and veggies. I had a small serving of cottage cheese as well. Diet Coke topped off the meal.
For dinner I had a NS meal, NS snack, and a banana. I did have a few small bites of the pizza from earlier, but nothing dramatic or major.
I need to see why I think nibbling is okay. Have to work on that!
It's day 9. I felt good today but slept a lot as well, since I'm still sick. I hope it passes soon.
Food wise, I was fine. Didn't eat too much early in the day because of being sick, but ate well at dinner. Had a NS dinner as well as a salad. I had 2 packs of desserts, or snacks. I really was hungry in the evening and tomorrow, I need to plan eating better. Skipping meals will never work for me. Luckily, I don't do that hardly ever. Just wasn't in the mood to eat today.
Tomorrow's another day. I'm thinking of exercise as well these days. I have a Curves membership that i know I need to get some use out of! Maybe starting next week.
Okay, first, I need to put the damn scale AWAY! It drives me batty and all day, I think, "Oh, i've lost this weight, therefore I have room to munch." While I know my mind is saying this, I just can't seem to say no. It's a horrible feeling!
I did fine all day. No issues at all really. I had dinner and I wasn't full, but I ended up eating a small piece of souffle I made. It was NOT a big deal and I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I ended the night on Nutrisystem and tomorrow's another day! It was a mistake, I wasn't as full as I felt earlier on, and I strayed. I thought of my kids and my life, and I ate a tiny piece and that was IT.
I'm off to bed. Having female problems and I really just need to rest.
Just updating my tracker. Will write more later on in the day.
Forgot to add I'm sick today. So, I didn't eat much. I had a nice dinner of a breast of chicken, veggies, 1/4 cup steamed rice and a salad w/FF dressing. This was more than enough for me and it felt great to 1) acknowledge my full feeling and 2) stop eating when I was full! This was a huge deal for me. While I know a lot of this is just portion control, I think Nutrisystem has helped me with knowing a small amount of food makes me full. It's easy because I'm not tempted to prepare a lot of foods and overeat, but I need to realize someday I have to do that. I'll work on that soon. Also, I want to add I told my husband to put my scale up where I can't reach it but he didn't!! I got it and weighed myself. I'm down a bit due to being sick, but I'll officially weigh-in tomorrow and do my count for the one week I've been doing NS. I know since I'm heavier weight comes off faster for me then I stabilize. But, it's encouraging either way.
I realized I hate using days to title my posts. It's not as if after 100 days, things are going to change and I'm going to be "free." I realize this is a life-long struggle and I need to see it as addicts see it, as Days 6 and 7 of the rest of my life. I know they are days 6 and 7 of the new days to my new lifestyle. But, just as addicts count how many days/months/years they are "clean," I'm doing the same. I'm clean from my old habits and working on new ones. Last night I was still not well. I had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. While there were slim pickings for really healthy meals, I did manage to eat pozole, which is hominy with pork. While it's probably not the healthiest food in the world, it was what I chose and it was enough. I see this as a huge feat and I'm a victor. I won for many reasons. No longer is it even a big deal that there is tons of food in front of me. It's just such a non-issue at this point. The long-term effects of my eating are always at the forefront of my mind. My children's lives and my life are what make me motivated. It was so easy to say no to the chips and salsa. I genuinely felt like I had done something right. I can finally see the big picture. It's bigger than me, bigger than the weight I need to lose. It's my life and the lives of my loved ones.
Technically, it's day 6 but on Monday, I got carried away off my diet.
I like Nutrisystem. It's a fool-proof way to eat and I love anything fool-proof. It's really showing me that portions I eat are satisfying! I can fill up on one piece of chicken instead of 4. Who knew??
Today I weighed myself. I was lower, due to being sick and not eating much yesterday. Today, the scale is going bye-bye. I can't handle it anymore and I need to be on my toes. This means continuing to eat healthy and continuing to NOT worry about my specific weightloss numbers. So, today, it goes bye-bye. It's a good thing for me, really it is.
I'm down 3lbs I think. I'm okay with that. I am still sick.
I'm sick today so in a sick way, that helps the weightloss. Can't really eat. I ate a cookie this morning and had a piece of grilled salmon and some broth soup at dinner. It's hard to keep stuff down.
My weightloss is all-consuming. I think of my daugther, everytime I hug her, without her mother. I think of my son, a pre-teen, having his own issues, alone, without me. I lthink of this often. As depressing and morbid as it is, it's a way to keep me in check. No food is worth losing your life. No food is worth making those that love you live alone.
I can't be the mom I want to be at this point. I can't be the wife I want to be. I do my best, but I know for the most part, it's not good enough. So, one day at a time. I continue to do what I do to work out my food issues. I continue to live my life losing weight and being positive in my eating. But, at the same time, I get those mental reminders and they keep me in check.
It's going to be a long, difficult weekend. I can feel the food urges take over. It's a horrible feeling. I think this is how drug addiction must feel. Except, one can live without drugs and physically, one cannot live without food. So, I'm presented with my temptations evryday, all day. It's a tough, tough road.
**Edited to add tomorrow I will be weighing myself and that will be it. Scale is going bye-bye for at least 2 weeks after that!**
I need to get out of the habit of weighing myself daily. It drives me bonkers and I continue to do it. It is of no help at all and yet, it drives my day. I need to put the scale away. I may have my husband put it in the closet and not let me see it. I can't reach that part. What sucks is I kind of stick to a diet better if I see I haven't lost weight. If I don't know, I assume I'm fine and tend to overeat.
Today was a very busy day! I had one Nutrisystem Biscotti and some taste of chicken I made for lunch.(indian chili chicken) I then had a chef salad at the mall food court. (Slim healthy pickins at the mall!) I was proud of myself with my salad and bottle of water.
It's a tough road. I feel myself winning this battle!
