Every time I walk into a new restaurant, I try to peek around the hostess to check out the accomodations. I fear the dreaded question "Table or booth?" because it is always a dilemma! I always prefer a booth, but because of these extra pounds I'm carrying with me, I can't always squeeze into one! Sometimes the table cuts me off right in the middle, choking me just under my ribs - it feels worse than a tight pair of jeans! And of course I can't sit back and relax. Once I slide into the tight quarters, my boobs rest on top of the table like they're on display.
If I'm lucky, I can flag down a waitress and plead for a table. If I'm even luckier, no one is watching - no one needs to witness me getting out of the booth! I'm sure that isn't pretty! The seats are usually vinyl, so it lets out a big long farting sound as I scoot out to the edge. I ease myself out of the contraption, and somehow manage to free myself without leaving some skin behind.
As I relocate myself and my belongings to a table (which I should have asked for to begin with!!!!), I look around to see if anyone noticed that I was too big to fit in a booth.
That is an embarrassing situation, but one I have been in MANY times. That is one of my 83 reasons for wanting to lose weight. I want to be able to say BOOTH when a waitress asks, and I want to be comfortable in it! It will happen.
So, I have shared the first reason for wanting to lose weight. My reasons are in no particular order - I just made a list. If I see how much better my life can be - by living healthier, it will be easier to stay motivated. I'm going to (eventually) share all of the other reasons, too. It's a long list, so I will be at this for a while!
In other news, it turns out that I need to have surgery. That's not exactly the news I was praying for, but I know it is necessary. After a bad PAP, I had some biopsies taken, but none of them showed any abnormalities. So, he wants to do a more invasive biopsy to see if he can see why my PAP showed moderate dysplasia. I had this same cone biopsy 2 years ago, and it came back clean, so this time he wants to cut out a bigger chunk to test. Now if that doesn't sound like fun, I don't know what does! I have vacation time scheduled in late August, so I'm going to do it then. I won't be worried until then, because my first biopsies came back negative. I will be dreading it, but I won't worry. Better a cone biopsy than chemotherapy...so I'm willing to go through it again. It sucked the first time, but everything turned out just fine!
Now that I've written a book, I need to finish up and relax a little bit! Hope everyone is having a good evening - I'll check in again soon! See ya!
Thank goodness I weighed in last night. I knew I had to see how much damage I'd done. Much to my surprise, I had actually lost a pound! I had three days where I watched my points very closely (mentally) but I didn't write anything down. I don't really think I went too crazy, but when I don't write down every single bite, I tend to miscalculate - and then gain!
At least it scared me bad enought to get my journal back out and do it right! I can't keep losing if I'm not keeping track. I've been down that road before - it just leads to giving up - and I am NOT going to do that this time!
So, I'm down 14 pounds in 9 weigh-ins, and I am very happy about that. My next goal is that 20-pound star... I should have that in a few weeks. And then I will be so close to my 10% award. I still kinda feel like I'm trying to rush things. I know I still have a long way to go to get to goal, and I'm trying to think ahead to maintaining a healthy lifestyle so I can keep it off in the end. I'm thinking about every aspect of it this time, because I know what kind of things have derailed me in the past.
One thing that has really improved by taking control of this phase of my life is my view of myself. This past weekend I got a really cute haircut and got my hair highlighted. It makes such a big difference! I love it. When I'm mad at myself for gaining weight, I always let some part of my appearance go. I used to always have cute haircuts, but I've gotten away from that in the past few years. So now, I surprised everyone and took the plunge. If I had some ambition, I'd post a picture, but today is my day off - and typing this is as far as I'm going!
I go to the doctor this afternoon to get the results from my colposcopy that I had a couple of weeks ago. He'll decide whether to adopt the wait & see approach, or dive right into surgery. I'm really hoping to get the wait & see speech, but I've had the surgery before, so at least I know what I'd be in for!
The new (later nights) schedule at work is better than I thought it would be. It gives us more days off, and a few shorter days, too. I really don't mind working an 8a-7p shift if I get something in return! So that's why I'm off today and enjoying every minute of it (except for the severe thunderstorms and the impending doctor's appt.).
Before I started WW, I made a list of all the reasons I wanted to lose weight. That was part of my "preparation". I wanted to lose 83 pounds - so I listed 83 reasons. Since I'm having such a hard time thinking about stuff to write about, tomorrow I'm going to start with reason #1 and share them with you. Some of them are so WEIRD, I know. But it's hard to come up with a list that long! That will keep me motivated to keep blogging, and it will give you a reason to stop by again and check up on me!
I suppose it was bound to happen one of these days. My losing streak has come to an end. I gained tonight, but it was only a HALF OF A POUND! Yippee!
I was so worried...my rings were a little tight and after last week's four pound miracle, I was prepared for something so much worse. I had considered even skipping this week because I was sure I'd gone back up to 241 overnight and was going to have to give back my ten pound ribbon! Just kidding - I knew I'd probably maintain or gain, but skipping a weigh-in wasn't gonna happen! Tom has been so excited to weigh in this week, I knew he would NOT let me skip. I didn't even mention it to him!
He's a big loser again, too, and got another star. Good job!
I'm going to have to find out a way to weigh when my work schedule changes. I will have to work a lot of evenings - I hope I can find a meeting somehow. I should have gotten a list of meetings tonight. I don't want a hectic work schedule to get in the way of my goals! Next project: Google WW meeting times.
Nothing exciting is going on around here. The long weekend was nice and relaxing, and I'm staying on track with eating healthy. I have not even started an exercise regimen - that is something I NEED to do. I don't want to lose all of this weight and still need to tone. So this week, I plan on getting a sensible exercise plan together. It's time.
This was such a big week! I lost 4 pounds. That's my biggest loss so far. I'm still in shock, I think. But - even BETTER than the 4 pounds was the ten pound ribbon! I finally have it in my possession. Now I'm down 13.5 and I'm not looking back. I even went to "new numbers"....I don't weigh 240-something, I weigh 220-something. Yippeeeeee!
Can you tell I'm happy?
Medical update: Warning, may be TMI for some....
I went to the doctor on Friday and had my colposcopy. While the procedure is not exactly painful, it is pretty uncomfortable. Of course, every time I have a procedure done, there is a medical student from somewhere that needs to witness the procedure. So, in addition to the nurse and the real doctor, there was the medical student (who really could have been any freak, I didn't ask for ID) -- and then to add to the physical discomfort, there is also the mental discomfort of an audience looking at my hoo through a giant microscope. They took several biopsies from my cervix - one involved a pipe-cleaner type torture device - I wasn't fond of that one. They scraped, poked, and swabbed the inner workings of my womanhood, and I should know the results in about two weeks. They said nothing looked cancerous, thank goodness. However, I don't want to have the same surgery I had two years ago. Cone biopsy = not fun. I just wish they'd take everything out permanently. Nothing works anyway... He won't do it YET. But then again, the doctor doesn't have to have HIS cervix minced with a Ginsu knife every three months.
...Safe for the squeamish to start reading again, don't say I didn't warn you....
Our hours at work are really going to change starting in June. They don't think we're busy enough during the day for the number of CSR's that we have. So we are adding hours to our workday. One girl is going to quit over it, so that means that we're down one person and we're extending our hours every night and on Saturdays. I'm happy getting 40 hours, so it really doesn't matter much which hours I work, but a couple of the ladies are older and one has a really long drive to/from work, and the other two girls have little kids. We're going to be struggling to keep the place staffed - especially keeping it staffed enough to always answer the phone on the first ring and wait on the customers as soon as they come in. We are going to have a big adjustment period. It will be crazy. They really need to hire a couple more people (part-timers, even) to fill in during the evenings, for vacations, or just when one of us needs a day off!
Enough of that. This weekend was very relaxing. I took it easy after the medical tests....we went to the farmer's market and flea market like usual (no major finds, darn it) and just took it easy. I'm on "light duty" until mid-week, so once my restrictions are lifted, I will be planting the rest of the garden.
Everything in the garden is doing pretty well so far. We've had tons of rain, so once the sun comes out this week, I look for everything to really grow! I need to sprinkle some bug-killing dust on the plants (no organic gardening for this girl) - my cucumber plants have already been chewed up by something. Maybe tomorrow night I can sprinkle the poison out there so I can save the rest of the garden!! One year some freaky horned caterpillars took up residence in my container garden and mowed down all of my tomato plants... I do not want that to happen this time. I do believe that with 19 tomato plants, I should have enough for the whole neighborhood AND the caterpillars! But I don't want them eating my beautiful tomatoes that are destined for delicious salsa!
That's it for my update. That was pretty long. Sorry. Hopefully this week will be less crazy, and I can update you more often.
Also, congrats to my sexy husband who lost again, too! Way to go!!
So tonight I step on the scale and I was praying that I had lost something. I wasn't really sure about it this week. I felt smaller again, but my rings were a little tight, and it just didn't feel like I'd had much of a loss.
I have really been wanting my 10-pound award. Every week I inch closer, but it just stays out of reach. I feel like I'm almost desperate to get it in my hands. I'm trying to be so patient, but it is becoming increasingly difficult. I try not to compare myself to my award-winning husband, but it gets tough!
Tonight I was anxiously watching while she was recording my weight in my book, and I saw the "minus sign", so I knew I had lost something!!! Could it be? Will tonight be the night?!?!?! Then I saw her write 231....oh, I might make it.... then came the stupid point five.
231.5 (sigh) I'm a 1/2 pound away from ten. At least that will keep me on track for next week, and I'll have a shiny blue ribbon to display! This week I'm going to work as hard as always to make sure I get to ten pounds. I am just so surprised that I have lost something every single week so far. I never expected that to happen.
And congratulations to my hubby, who got his 25 pound award. Good job! Thirty pounds is just around the corner, you know.
I am so excited for my two pound loss, though. That's a big one for me. I am really, really happy about it!
It's been raining for the last couple of days. That seems to just make me sleepy. The good thing is that I don't have to water the garden. For a first-timer, I think I've been a little ambitious with the garden. I'm already worried and the plants just went into the ground on Saturday. We planted 19 tomato plants (5 different varieties) and I think that's probably excessive for just having two people in the house that like tomatoes! Oh well, at least I have a canner. We'll have enough tomato juice for 3 years.
I planted tomatoes, burpless cucumbers, yellow squash, jalapenos, bell peppers, and thai hot peppers. I will be busy. It seems like such a small garden, but it should be fun. I actually ran out of room, so if the area we (Tom) tilled up for the herb garden doesn't pan out, I'll use it for the cauliflower, etc. I planted a bunch of seeds for the herb garden, but the only thing that has made an appearance has been the basil. I have some seeds that have sprouted in the garage, too. So once I slowly introduce them to the sunshine, they'll be going in the ground. Oh, and I have about 6 watermelon plants started from seeds. They're the sugar baby variety, so they should be tiny...I have this feeling that they might just try to take over the backyard by August!
I only work four days this week, so it should go pretty fast. I have a doctor's appt on Friday (bad PAP results again this year, ugh) and then I'm free to do what I want. I'm afraid if they chop out any more of my cervix (too much info? sorry..) that my uterus will just drop out when I sneeze! I hate all of these tests and biopsies, but I know it is very necessary. I'm a pretty good sport about it.
So, that's about it for me. I certainly will be checking back in this week! Happy Monday night. See ya!
We just got back from dinner & a movie so I thought I would check in. I need to go to bed soon - I work for four hours in the morning. I'm sure we will be very busy, so I need to rest up for it!
For dinner we went to Applebee's since their menu has a page with Weight Watchers points on it. I ordered the French Onion Soup and the Cajun Lime Tilapia. I had tried the soup before and it was just like I remembered (yummy!). The tilapia was served with rice pilaf and broccoli and it was delicious! I wasn't stuffed, but I was satisfied.
We went to see Iron Man at the movies. It was so much better than I had expected. The reviews had been good (what I had read online and from co-workers), but I just am not a big fan of Robert Downey Jr. But I really liked the movie. The little boys in front of us were mesmerized, and I was very entertained myself! If you do see it, make sure you stay until the very end of the credits - there is a little something at the end.
So, date night was a success. We even split a bag of popcorn so that we could both enjoy some, but we didn't go overboard. Those are the kind of things we're learning to do. Deprivation does not work for me!
That's about it. Hopefully I'll be able to check in again later this weekend. It seems like we're in for some rain. See ya!
Today was a never-ending day at work. Yesterday I worked really hard to organize my entire desk, and today I worked really hard at doing absolutely no work. I just didn't feel much like doing anything and there wasn't anything pressing to do, so I just passed the time. No wonder today was so long! Tomorrow I'm getting some work done!
I have felt super-hungry all day today. It was one of those days where everyone at work was constantly eating something. I hate that. I ate all of the food in my lunch stash (except for one apple) and I was still hungry. I decided against the hot chocolate in my desk because I was already too warm. I just didn't have anything with me at work that hit the spot! Luckily, I had all new points starting at 6pm and now that I've had dinner, I'm a happy girl.
I'm just waiting for American Idol. And since I'm really thirsty, I'm going to grab a drink and chill out. After American Idol, I should be heading to bed. Like I said, it's been a long day! Straight from work to church makes for a long evening. But I can relax now.
Hope everyone had a good Wednesday. The weekend is coming! Yippee!
I can't complain, though, I did lose another pound tonight. They all add up - I'm down 7.5 pounds now. I am dying to get that stupid ten pound ribbon. I suppose I should have it by Christmas. 2013.
At tonight's meeting, we discussed the rising cost of groceries, and tips on how to stay on program and stay within a budget. We discussed buying food in bulk, using coupons, and buying generic brands. One thing she did mention was that even if a food is affordable, it's not smart to buy it if it will cause you to go off program! One thing we have been doing is going to the farmer's market. The eggs taste better, the lettuce is fresher, and the price is affordable. I can't wait until summertime when there's a huge variety there.
Another thing we're doing is the garden! I have seeds planted for the herb garden (thank you honey for tilling it up for me) and I should be putting some vegetables in the ground very soon! We have some seeds started in a little plastic "greenhouse" - the radishes are growing fast! - so I need to get some of that planted, too. I'm not sure it's exactly saving money to have the garden at this point (tools and seeds and potting soil and plants), but by August I'll be happy to be picking tomatoes from the backyard and not paying $4.00 a pound!
Springtime just makes me want to play in the dirt. We walked around tonight just looking at everything. The grape arbor has hundreds of little baby clusters of grapes..I hope I get some of those before the birds eat them. The previous owner had dozens of jelly jars in the shed, so I guess now I know what those were for (duh!). There are lots of clusters of raisins from last year, so the birds definitely don't find all of the grapes!
Of course, the pollen is making my sinuses go crazy, but I do love the giant lilac bushes and the dogwood tree out back. I just can't wait to make some food grow out there! This week is supposed to be very nice, and just a little bit of rain, so by this weekend, I should have a good bit of it finished.
Nothing is going on in the work-world lately - we're staying really busy. That makes the time go by so fast! I work every day this week, so hopefully it will stay that way, and noon on Saturday will be here very quickly.
I'm happy about my weight loss so far. In the past five weeks, I've gone on anti-depressants, done one course of progesterone, started the pill - AND I've managed to lose SOMETHING every week. Once my hormones get straightened out, maybe I'll lose 2 whole pounds. Whoopeeeee! For now, I'm happy that I haven't gained and that I'm still staying on track every single day and journaling every single bite.
This week in our WW meeting, the leader focused on shortcuts for dinner so that we could always have time to make a satisfying meal -- and not have to resort to a drive-thru or going to a restaurant to eat.
It seems like we eat out A LOT. Tom & I both really love to cook, so I don't know why we do that. It seems like a simple solution to dinner. But that's only because we haven't really planned ahead.
I feel like we've been really focused this week on cooking healthy food for dinner. Tonight we had blackened catfish on the grill, seasoned baked potato wedges, and broccoli. We were stuffed after dinner, and it only used a few points. And it didn't take long to fix at all!
We did eat out on Monday night (Subway) after our meeting, but that was just because it is a fairly healthy choice, and it's our routine. I doubt we'll be changing that. But this week since we haven't been eating out as much, I feel like I've had a lot more energy...especially during the workday. I hope we can continue to eat like this. We have tomorrow night planned already, so we're almost to the weekend!
[By the way, some shortcuts mentioned at our meeting were using pre-prepared ingredients (like fully-cooked chicken for salads), using the crockpot for preparation, Steamfresh veggies (yummy!!), having the kitchen stocked with staples, and making sure food gets prepared when you get home from the store (like cutting up fruit or salad ingredients ahead of time)...there were some really helpful hints...that's one reason I do like going to the meetings.]
Work has gone pretty good this week. I've only really gotten yelled at one time, so I consider that a success! Silly customers. That probably means that I'm in for it tomorrow!
Well, that's it for me. Time to watch the Idol results show. I'm sure I'll be disappointed somehow... stupid American Idol.
The pounds are coming off ONE at a time. That's fine, though. At least I'm still losing! I was super hungry this past weekend. I managed to stay within my points range the whole time (just barely!) and did use all of my flex points. That has to be the only reason I lost a pound. I just didn't feel like I would. I had been set on being okay with maintaining. Luckily, I did lose one pound. Yippee!
For the past 12 days I have been taking hormones, too, so I'm sure that contributed to the crazy hunger. I feel it subsiding now, so hopefully next week I'll have another loss. I also hope it will be easier to stay within my points range. The past few days have been rough!
I have a busy week lined up at work this week - I hope it goes fast! The first of the month is always a hectic day for me. This month I hope to get prepared in the next couple of days so that it's not so crazy all at once. I handle all of the payments for people who use auto-deduction from their checking accounts or credit cards (for their monthly bills), and I am always so nervous that something will go wrong during the process. I have nightmares about the software deducting payments more than one time from someone's account and causing them to bounce fifty checks. Even though I have been doing this for a long time, I still get nervous every time.
Once that is over on the first of May, I'll be good for another four weeks. I realize I'm stressed out about something I have no control over! I can control everything on my end...I just don't have any control over the computers, or the 3rd party that actually handles those transactions. Here I am, worried already, and I'm a few days away. I need to let that go.
Done.
I feel better just typing that!
Well, I hope everyone had a healthy, happy weekend, and I hope this week holds more of the same!
