new stats for this week

Age: 26
Height: 5'6"
Current Weight: 132
Highest Weight:140
Lowest Weight: 90
Goal Weight: 125

Current Weight
Your weight is 132 lb as of 09/11/2006.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125  lb by 10/31/2006

Goal Progress
You are currently 7  lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 50 days (7 weeks, 1 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 0.98 lb per week.

my bike!

I got my old bike from my parents place this weekend and I am so pumped to be peddling my ass around the city. At first I thought it would be less exercise than walking, but it uses different muscles so it's good because it's a different kind of workout instead of the same old routine.
So now for the big news...

I lost two pounds over the weekend. WTF!
It's awesome. I didn't think I'd lose anything since I was eating at my parents place. I even had pancakes and syrup, and birthday cake for my dad - made with cream cheese. BUT I didn't over-indulge, and I walked about two miles on Saturday as well as Sunday, and I rode my bike, and did exercises as home with my aerobics ball. I took my green tea pills too.

I'm happy. But I know it's gonna plateau soon. It always does. I do really good and then it just "stops". The weight stops coming off, despite my efforts. But I don't have far to go anyway - I'm over halfway to my goal! It's great to see the chart go down, and my little tracker guy move along the bottom of the page. It's so stupid but it really helps me see that I'm accomplishing something. Plus - my jeans fit me today. MY GOD. My jeans fit me. They've been super-tight for a while now, and today I pulled them on, fresh out of the dryer (and you know how jeans are when you just wash them!) and they FIT ME FINE. Ahhh! What a good feeling!

i'm gonna do it!

I'm going to get a membership at the local gym. I haven't been to a gym in years - I would sometimes do drop-ins with my best friend at the gym in the town we lived, but no membership.
  As soon as I have the money saved I'm getting a four month membership to start with. I'm totally broke now but soon I'll have enough. Plus in order to do this I'll need new shoes and clothes - I have absolutely no "gym" type clothes whatsoever.
I'm excited to do this!

same as yesterday

I'm still the same weight as yesterday which is alright... just as long as I'm not gaining anything. Hopefully this weekend won't be too bad. I'll be at my parents tomorrow and that means eating lots of "normal" food, so, I know I won't lose any pounds but if I come out of this weekend without gaining anything I'll be happy.
Hopefully Monday I'll still weigh the same as Friday.

here's to the weekend

Weekends are harder.
It's when I feel like kicking back. Forgetting everything. Plus I'm at home so much and I'm more likely to amble towards the kitchen.
Also, I visit my parents on Saturdays and my mom makes enormous meals and desserts and watches me like a hawk to make sure I eat lots of food because I've had EDs in the past - especially lately because she knows I'm trying to lose weight. Last time I was there I refused a slice of apple pie and she went into RED-ALERT mom mode and right away started asking me questions about my eating habits. I told her I was simply eating healthier and had to reassure her that I wasn't going all annorexic/bulemic etc. She even asked my husband if I've been eating... ALL BECAUSE I REFUSED A PIECE OF PIE. sigh. And it was right after we had just eaten dinner, too, so it's not as though I was starving myself. I just didn't want dessert!

Anyway. I really don't blame my mom though. She's just looking out for me.
At my lowest weight I was 90 lbs, that's when I was 21 years old. I looked sick, I looked like a junkie. I didn't know how bad I looked until I saw pictures of myself later. Pants that don't fit me now because they're way too small hung off my body like I was a clothes hanger. I had hollows under my eyes. It was not a pretty sight. My mom just doesn't ever want to see me like that again, and frankly neither do i.

realizing why i eat.

Here's something I just read today, I found it helpful and you might too. It's about the differences between eating when you're hungry vs. eating when you're "emotionally hungry", so to speak. I got this from DietWatch:

First, emotional hunger normally comes on like lightening, while physical hunger develops slowly. Emotional hunger is like a rocket going off: it happens suddenly. Physical hunger develops little by little: first there's the tummy rumble, then the grumble and then it really starts complaining with hunger pangs. But, the slow stages of physical hunger are very different from the quick onset of emotional hunger.

Second, emotional hunger demands food immediately, whereas physical hunger is bit more patient. Much like its quick onset, emotional hunger demands immediate satisfaction. On the other hand, even if you are ravenously hungry, your physical hunger will wait for food.

The third difference between the two involves mindfulness. Satisfying physical hunger involves a deliberate choice and awareness of what's being eaten. How much of what's being eaten is noticed, meaning you can stop when full. However, emotional hunger on the other hand usually doesn't notice how, why or what's being eaten. Emotional hunger will even demand more food even after the person is stuffed.

Fourth, physical hunger is open to different types of foods, but emotional hunger often demands very particular foods in order to be fulfilled. If you're physically hungry, even carrots will look delicious. If you're emotionally hungry, however, only cake or ice cream might seem appealing.

Fifth, satisfying emotional hunger often results in guilt, or promises to do better next time. This is in sharp contrast with physical hunger, which is viewed as necessary to survival and therefore has no guilt attached to it.

And sixth, emotional hunger, of course, results from something emotionally upsetting, while physical hunger results from a physical need.

Whenever you feel compelled to eat in a way that doesn't match the patience or speed of physical hunger you are struggling with emotional eating and hunger.

update. also a word about cravings.

Well another pound is gone. See, it's so easy for me to lose the pounds but SO EASY TO GAIN IT BACK!
The scale was actually about 133, (a two-pound loss) but I logged it as 134 (a one pound loss). If I get too eager, the weight flies back onto my ass just to spite me, LOL.

Something I've learned is I have to allow myself the things I crave, in moderation of course. Here's a little story about what happens when I don't:

Aukéla does really well for a week. Even though she desperately craves chocolate and sweet things, she abstains from them. She loses some weight, and is really pleased with herself - but when she goes to bed at night, she is dreaming about cheese, and chocolate. Finally one day, Aukéla decides enough is enough, and gives in to her chocolate bar cravings. She eats one. She eats another. And by the end of that night, she eats another. She figures, hell, she's already eaten THREE chocolate bars in ONE DAY, and her diet is ruined, so she begins stuffing her face with every piece of food within a 30-mile radius and gains three pounds.

True story, lol.
So the last time I was at the grocery store, I bought a package of Hershey chocolate-sticks which are only 60 calories each.
If I've been doing well on my calorie intake for the day and I'm craving chocolate, I'll have one. Yesterday I had a really low-cal lunch (vegetable soup broth plus some veggies tossed in) and when I got home I ate half a chocolate stick, which was YUMMY, and later after a low-cal dinner I ate the other half.

I think you have to allow yourself the things that you crave or you'll snap, and it'll all go out the window.
Just make sure you find a healthier or low-cal alternative to the things you crave (the 60-cal chocolate sticks I treat myself to when I've been doing well, instead of shoving three candy bars in my mouth after a week of dreaming about chocolate and not letting myself have any)

Green Tea Pills are working well

This is only my second day taking the green tea pills, but I have to say - they're great.
I normally get hungry early in the afternoon, even though I ate lunch. I start snacking on things.
This time I took a green tea pill and the hunger/craving went away in about fifteen minutes.

stats for today

Weight Goal Stats Current Weight
Your weight is 135 lb as of 09/07/2006.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125  lb by 10/31/2006

Goal Progress
You are currently 10  lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 54 days (7 weeks, 5 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 1.3 lb per week.

errr, just a question.

I don't think anyone reads my stupid page since nobody ever answers any of my questions or comments on anything I say...

BUT...

I'll just throw this out there, in hopes that maybe someone'll see it.
What the hell is "DH?" and other initials I see people using on here? I'm assuming it means something-husband, or something, because it's usually in reference to a person's husband/partner. I'm confused. People are always talking about their DH and their LMNOP and their XYZ. Some help, please, so I can make sense of these blogs I'm reading. 
***EDIT***
Nevermind. I looked it up and apparently it's a catch-all phrase for either "darling" or "damned" or whatever/husband. Uhhhh. I doubt I'll be calling my husband "DH" any time soon because it makes him sound like a 'thing', but at least I figured it out