Girl Power!

Okay!  So I'm back into my weight training, and I'm loving it!  I'm working on the full squat, with the bar across my back.  Today, I tried it for the first time with 20 lbs on the bar.  Normally I'd have more weight, but this was my first time attempting a squat without the cage, just totally free weights.  I was scared I was going to fall back and have a goofy-looking embarrassing accident in front of all the cute guys that tend to frequent the free weight section in the gym.  Man, I really wish more women would venture over there.  I'd feel lots more comfortable.  But, oh well!! Can't let shyness stop me from doing my thing, and reaching my goals.  So anyway, back to the squat.  I've never been able to squat, all the way down till my butt rests on the back of my legs.  I ALWAYS fall over.  Funny thing is, I can do it in heels, but not flat footed.  But I really should be able to do this, so now I'm going to work on getting my joints loose so I can actually pull off the full squat.  I'm taking baby steps, mind you. practicing while holding on to someting with no weight, and when in the gym, going down as far as I can, not holding on to anything, with light weight.  I'll just keep it at 20lbs on the bar till I can squat all the way down without falling, and come up without assistance.  Sounds like a simple goal, but this is BIG FOR ME!!  I fell in love with free weight training a few years ago, but let this ignorant doctor scare me away from it.  He told me that I would not like the way I looked and get bulky.  All the research that I've done tells me that he is SO WRONG.!!!  As long as I don't take steriods, and keep the weight only high enough so that I can pump out 12-15 reps, I'll burn fat AND tone up wonderfully.  So, I'm back in the saddle, motivated and psyched. I've also burned off some inches!  In your face Doc!!! ;)

Strengthening My Commitment

Okay,

So, i've been at this "refocusing" thing for a week.  And while I can happily say that I made some choices regarding food that were in line with my commitment, I must also admit that I can keep improving.  But let me focus on what I'm proud of for this week:

1) I did a great workout consisting of cardio and free weights on a typical "day off".  I feel so brave for doing those free weights.  All the guys in the area can be intimidating.  Especially if I'm feeling particularly "chubby" that day.

2) Said "no" to a milkshake offer.  (I LOVE ice cream)

3) Choose to eat oatmeal versus a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit.  ( I REALLY like Chick-Fil-A)

4) Only ate half my food at Pappedeaux's.  Didn't get any fried food.

5) Consciously ate light, low-cal meals for breakfast and lunch to balance out dinner out with friends.

6) Made SF Jello with fruit cocktail for low-cal, no fat "sweet" substitute.

7) Was very active on a NO Workout day.  IKEA wears me out!!!

Wow!  Didn't realize how many little efforts I made!  They really add up! 

I'm really glad I decided to make that accomplishment list.  Too often, I focus on what I DIDN'T do, and where I could've done better, and it just make me feel sad and non-progressive. 

Acknowledging what I did RIGHT motivates me to keep going and keep adding to my "do right" list!!  Yayy

Refocusing

I am so happy right now to be getting refocused.   You see, I successfully lost 30 lbs.  But then,.....I moved, lost my support system and encountered heartbreak, turned to old habits....yada yada, somebody pull out the violins.  So, 23 pounds are back, and I am NOT happy about it.  So, I have regrouped, I'm putting my big girl panties on, and I'm going to take care of me.  I can and I will do this.  Hey, it could be worse.  I could be saying that all 30 lbs. came back, plus 20 more!  So, though I'm dealing with some frustration and a little disappointment, I've decided to forgive myself, show myself a little grace, love and understanding, put my boxing gloves on, and get back in my fight.  I am determined to learn to cope with life's changes and obstacles in ways that benefit me, versus pacify me for the moment at my later detriment.

So.....I've found an affordable gym that I absolutely love, I have taken the sabotage out of my pantry and fridge, and.....drum roll......I've opened my Extrapounds account!!!! 

God's mercies are new for me every morning. I WILL have victory in this and all areas of my life!!!

Much love and strength to all my fellow warriors!