One day down, A LOT more to go...
...but today I am okay with that. Yesterday was rough, it was my first day getting back on track after being off for awhile. I was right on track, did what I set out to do in the morning. It took a rough week of self reflection, self-loathing (unfortunately), and lots of overeating to figure out what I really want. So I got my butt back in gear, got some personal stuff figured out and away I went.
I am now looking at this as one day at a time. If I look at the big picture I get so overwhelmed. I would love to lose 50+ pounds and I can't even imagine how long it will take me. But I will do it. I haven't quit at it yet, and I take that as a good sign.
I was starving yesterday but I persevered and made it through. And you know, it felt really good at bedtime that I made it through the day. I needed a day that I was in control of, it had been a long time since that happened. And I slept really well last night too. I keep saying the first day is the hardest, and now it's behind me.
Today has been really good as well. I'm really hungry today but I don't want to slip back and get into that dark hole of mine that I seem to have been living in for awhile. I had a really yummy and filling breakfast of Kashi Go Lean Crunch, one cup of blueberries and a cup of soy milk. Holy protein, I was so full! And it really carried me through. I was actually so busy with my DDs today at a play date that I didn't have time to eat. But later in the day when I had a few minutes of silence I sat and had a healthy lunch instead of binging on anything edible. I was hungry afterwards, so I grabbed an apple and enjoyed it.
So I'm feeling pretty darn good today about what I accomplished in the last two days. For me, it's a feat. This weekend will be tough to stay on track, as they usually are. But I am working on changing my focus away from food as comfort and something to celebrate with. I am looking at it as a way to fuel and nourish my body instead.
I'll blog this weekend to help keep my positive and accountable. Have a great weekend everyone.
Oh, and thanks for the welcoming words after my first blog, I really didn't think anyone would actually read it. It is so nice to know I am not alone, so thank you.
Another new beginning...
Well, this is it. My very first blog! I hesitated adding that exclamation point. Why? Well, I'm not sure how excited I am, to be honest. I am really just trying blogging out as a way to compliment my weight loss efforts. Those efforts have been less than great this past little while, so hopefully this blogging stuff will become an inspiration to me to keep going. Maybe I'm hoping it will be an outlet for me to get stuff off my chest. Maybe I'm hoping it will lead to some deep self-realization. Maybe I'll never even add another post, lol. Who knows?
A little background about my weight loss efforts to date, just incase anyone really is reading this. And I'll keep it simple, because even I get confused by all the times and methods that I have tried to lose weight.
Basically I have been trying to lose weight for 10 years, since I was about 20 years old I think (I'm 30 now). Looking back, I wasn't even "fat" when I was 20, but for some reason I thought I was and I joined Weight Watchers for the very first time. What I wouldn't give to have my 20 year old body back today. I have yo-yo'd up and down since then, from about 140lbs to about 225lbs (after my second baby). I just need to put this next number down to see it as I have never done it before - at my very heaviest I was 250lbs, but that was the week before I delivered DD#2.
Anyways, while yo-yo'ing up and down for 10 years I tried MANY a diet and obviously nothing really stuck. I have done WW more times than I can count. And I am currently doing it right now, but that's another post all together. I have done Herbal Magic, Herbal One, Dr. Phil, South Beach, who knows what else. Oh, Slimfast, too. And good ole diet and exercise - funny, that was the one that made me the happiest and have the "best" body I've ever had.
So here I am, doing WW again to get baby weight off, college weight off, and just weight that has been gained from loving food and being lazy. It all adds up to the ugly numbers I see now on the scale. Today is DAY ONE of being back on plan after quiet awhile. I am taking this day by day, and I'll see what happens.
And I think I like this blogging thing, maybe I'll even do it again tomorrow! Exclamation mark easier to insert this time :)
Take care and thanks for reading.