Slow start… courtesy of my early morning wake up call.Work was long and drawn out.I was great about staying OP and felt really good about the choices I made.Whoever recommended the chicken chili from Costco (3 pts/cup), great suggestion -- I loved it!As promised, I did a little job hunting on line where possible but couldn’t wait until the day ended.
Met Maureen at The Glenmorgan for drinks… stuck to ice tea (not my old fav Long Island… more like Lipton).Hadn’t seen her in awhile and soon remembered why we were such great friends when I was working at the law school.We did a lot of trouble shooting about my job situation and how to resolve it.Lots of great suggestions; she knows just what I’m capable of accomplishing and has some fab ideas on how to get there.We laughed until we no longer could.Our happy hour turned in to three… it’s the most fun I’ve had in ages.When we went to leave someone had paid our tab, and left $8 for our server… but no idea who. Ahhh, love the mystery of it all.
IN OTHER NEWS: GC#2 called me at work AGAIN.As nicely as I possibly could I told him that I thought I had been very clear about wanting to leave things as is… I did NOT feel the need to fill in every lull in the conversation (the old me would have apologized for my feelings to make him feel better, than hung up and gone in search of something to eat).I’m getting so much better at this.
Steps taken:I haven’t a clue… accidentally left pedometer at home at lunch!
WI Friday:I feel lighter than air now!Surely I’ve lost something this week!
Not sure why I am now awake... but must confess I ate a bag of 94% ff kettle korn after dinner (just remembered I forgot to drink milk at dinner -- which left me hungry, hence the kk). I also had that infinitessimally small piece of pizza dough bread stick at lunch, could it be a reaction like Friday... and now I am wide awake staring at the night?
Could it be the brain dump at lunch regarding the sorry state of my job? Kate can be trusted with the details, but is simply the articulating of it bringing on bad vibes? I promise to stop dwelling in the negativity of it all -- right now!
Could it be that DS17 was upset that I didn't give an outright thumbs-up to senior week? He asked me at 7:52 and wanted an answer at 7:53. Could you please give me more than 97 seconds to give you an answer?
Could it be the thyroid and cholesterol issues that remain unresolved while my blood work sits at the Main Line Clinical Labs waiting to be processed? My synthroid has been up for a week today, will it start to show at the scale at this Friday's WI? All that hard work reversed unnecessarily because Endo#1 clearly did not remember that I had a thyroidectomy 16 months ago.
Could it be that I'm feeling anxiety about the piles of paper yet unsorted and filed at home? That I have yet to get my tax info in order nor started the FAFSA forms for next year? Saturday, that's my day and I'm sticking to it!
Could it be that I STILL haven't heard from interviews on November 22 and December 11? Am I in or am I out? Tell me and I'll move on. Nope, wrong attitude, I'm moving on.
What is it? I only wish I knew, because then I could leave it here, to be picked up tomorrow but for now get back to sleep.
10:00 AM -- Both bosses are out of the office and I can finally breathe -- in private.The biggest adjustment to this job has been losing my private office.The biggest disappointment has been that I am so NOT challenged.Now that I know DS17 is not going to school in CA next year I MUST get moving on the job front.Ideally I would stay here…What’s going on with the job I interviewed for on December 22?Hope many times can I call Human Resources before they block my number?I haven’t called for an entire week.It doesn’t seem unreasonable to call today… besides they know me!
I called… no updates although they did say they were asked to not send any more resumes.They’ve checked my references; I know that I’m qualified.I showed great poise, knowledge and enthusiasm during the interview.Hire me!
11:40 AM -- Took a tour of all four floors in my building, after all I've only been living here for a year! It's tougher than I thought to get in 10,000 steps! Current read: 7,900.
4:30 PM -- Slow afternoon. Ran home for lunch but stayed on track. Avoided choco chip and macademia cookies at the Dean's meeting. Headed to Kmart from work to buy world class mouse catching contraption. That should put me over the step limit for the day. Current read: 9,707
7:10 PM -- Quiet evening on deck. Feel back in the swing of things for real. I had 4 spare points tonight and actually picked a banana with a tablespoon of peanut butter, over a bag of ff kettle korn! It's starting to become second nature and it feels G-O-O-D.
Tired tonight... a few days of waking up at 4:00am instead of 5 will do that to me. I made it a point to get up and move today at the office... in addition to the laps I made several extra trips up and down the four flights of stairs. Hopefully it woke up my body from it's semi sleeping state and my metabolism will remember that it needs to WORK! I'm looking forward to an evening of mindless television and an early crash time.
So easy to say, so hard to do.I am a people pleaser by nature.Not your run of the mill people pleaser, but the twist yourself inside out, upside down people pleaser.Normally, such physical and mental gymnastics would have me face first into a box of munchkins.
I DO have a backbone, seriously I do, but where men are concerned I am a complete marshmallow.So when Gym Crush #2 (hereafter known as GC2) asked me out, I found it hard to say no, so I didn’t.And as the day approached I had “buyer’s remorse”.Normally, such remorse would have sent me spoon first into the peanut butter jar, with a banana and chocolate syrup on the side.
But… fate intervened and I had the mother of all stomachaches on Saturday prompting a cancellation.Since that time GC2 has called four times.Today I finally worked up the nerve to call him back and said simply that some things in my life required my immediate attention… no further explanation given.Normally, such honesty would have sent me through the nearest drive through window for a biggie-size carb load.
So just for today, I said no, I meant it and I feel good about it.Normally, such self-serving smugness would have me knee deep in a half gallon of one of 31-flavors best sellers.
But today I’m okay, and I hope today is the beginning of the new normal.
Is it too much to ask that when I am sleepless at 3:00 a.m. that out of the 130 channels on my cable system that more than 8 of them are showing something other than infomercials?Of those eight, could you please show something other than reruns of MASH and What’s Happening?
Is it too much to ask that after spending an hour and a half in the Cingular store that I NOT have to spend an additional hour on the telephone with customer support? When I ask that you turn off internet access for my 13-year-old’s telephone can you please actually TURN IT OFF?
Is it too much to ask that when I ask the kids, "How many times do I have to ask you?" that the answer is actually ONE?
Is it too much to ask that when I go to the gym, that people actually wipe off the machines after they are finished?And, please do not use the towel you are using to blow your nose in to wipe down the hand rails and controls on the elliptical machine that I am signed up for next.
And lastly, is it too much to ask that Monday not come after Sunday… because I could really use one more day off!
14,008 steps today (!!!!) This week's goals: Weight Watchers: - Stay OP - Try and avoid using Flex and APs - Accumulate 10k steps per day - Continue getting in oils/dairy
Admittedly, I hopped on the scale this morning for some instant gratification. Just like I know what fake weight is, I also know what a fake loss is. For the moment it was enough to keep me on a dietary high -- so I'm running with it. It's encouragement to stay the course, eat moderately and keep up with the exercise.
Crazy/busy Sunday to make up for sick slacker Saturday, but I remain committed to achieving my goals.
After reading a bit of Dr. Oz’ book You on a Diet and trying to consciously avoid enriched/bleached flours (I always thought enriched was a good thing – or am I confusing that with simply being rich? a very good thing!)I became terribly ill last night.I’ve really had little to no flour since the beginning of the year.I suspect at the root of last night’s gastrointestinal debacle is my traditional Pizza Friday because the same thing happened last week.
After tossing and turning all night, in that half consciousness where you are neither not fully asleep nor fully awake, in my mind’s eye I was being chased by a giant snow ball.Except, it wasn’t a snow ball… it was a DOUGH ball!And now it is uncomfortably in my stomach!
Now… is it not enough that my plan for 2007 was 1) no more than two slices of pizza and 2) it had to be fresh from the pizza oven, no more eating from the box the next morning or from the fridge three days later?Now I find I can’t eat it at all!
Of course, I could always skip the healthy oils and dairy freeing up six points a day for my former carb addiction because, it is no secret that I could have subsisted on three meals a day from the pizza, pasta and popcorn food group I created for myself long ago.Nah, I’m going to hold the line here.The surgeon general has determined (I’m just guessing) that I can live a full and complete existence without pizza!So I think I’ll try.
Alright I’m impatient, I admit it. I want to be thin again and I want to be thin NOW! I look at my little chart and I want to see the line between today and goal plummeting toward earth again, showing my rapid descent toward the thin me, the me that has been hiding again for way too long.
As I see it… the problem is that life gets in my way. I get side tracked all too easily. Kids, work, money… the more complicated my life gets, the more quickly I drop on the priority list. And before I even know it is happening I’m no longer going to the gym, I’m eating peanut butter from the jar by the spoonful, I’m counting ice cream as a dairy and I’m on the slippery slope of no return.
So I’m here today, and I’m committing to staying here until I get where I’m going – GOAL.I’m so glad you’re all along for the ride.Peace.
