Run Lola, Run...

Do you remember that movie.  Lola did some running, and I need to do some running too! 

My new shoes were in a plain brown cardboard box by the side door when I came home from work yesterday.  Like a silent omen, quietly mocking me for not going running yesterday morning.  My justification?  The FamousFootwear website said they weren't being delivered until September 4... and I was committed to waiting for them to arrive.

So, after a day of (food) debauchery, with nary a point being counted (I would have needed a calculator) my shoes arrived, a day early, much to my chagrin because I knew the sunrise would bring a swollen belly and a food hangover.  And so, they sit and wait for what I'm not sure, only that they are there for the moment I am ready to take the very first step toward a healthier me -body, mind, soul...

False start...

Yesterday I did not go to the gym...
I did not journal my food...
I did not eat OP...
I did not pass go or collect $200.

Thank goodness today is a new day, and I am headed to the gym right... NOW!

UPDATES:
9:41 a.m.  -  W1D1/C25K  Completed  = )

Crashed and burned...

Yup, that would describe yesterday in the food department.  I was worrying about that unresolved work issue and I let it get the best of me.  But that was yesterday, and this is today and I'm going to move foward.  Yesterday's mail brought some of the closure I was looking for with a hearing date two weeks away.  It made me happy to know that I will present my side at the hearing, they will render a decision, case closed.  Then I can forget about that ugly episode, be grateful I no longer work for that organization, and move forward.

I did get a ton done yesterday in spite of the food debacle.  MANY errands related to putting the house back together.  Think I found a C&Barrel set for the kitchen, got care package stuff together for DS19, odds/ends from hardware store, return to ULTA, etc.  At the end of the day I felt it had been very productive.

Restarting C25K today.  Trying to get up to speed on my own has not been successful.  I ran faster after I did the whole program and never returned to that level once I stopped running regularly.  So, today is D1/W1.  Heading to the gym at 8 o'clock.  5m walk, 60s jog, 90s walk up to 20 minutes.  I think it's easier to do on the treadmill too, since I can tell exactly how fast I am going and for how long.  When I tried to do it on the trail, "guess"timating was challenging.

Let's see... meeting DS21 later, might meet a friend for lunch.  The day is wide open and I'm going to forget about yesterday's slip and embrace the new day.

Take it and run...

Today is not my WI day, but I wanted to check and see how I'm doing.  Normally a first week would yield a loss of up to seven pounds, but I have been eating all my daily's and some of my flex.  Deprivation is simply not going to work for me this time.  Sure I could register a big lost by dropping to 10 points (something that I have done in the past, sometimes by design, sometimes by circumstance), but I am not going to do that this time.  I'll take my partial first week loss of two pounds and run!

I had an emotional set back last night and for a nanosecond looked at the bag of tortilla chips sitting on the kitchen counter, and then moved on.  I've filed the situation in an appropriate mental place and will not allow it to derail me when it resurfaces a bit down the road for final resolution.  That was yesterday, today is here and I'm going to do what I've been doing all week:

Eat on plan
Consider exercising (I have until Tuesday, remember?)
Journal
Stay in a good place emotionally (cancel a negative with a positive)
Keep forward looking

And I'm off... lots of errands today = )

Fab Friday...

Started with the fact that I slept from 11 until 5 - record breaking!  After realizing (again) that the AmbienCR was making me forgetful, I flushed them yesterday morning and decided I would rather be tired than stupid and out of sorts. 

While I was awake on time, I did not go to the gym.  Have extended my new job grace period until beginning of Sept.  Since I am eating OP and going to the trainer on Tuesday's, I felt it incumbent upon myself to ease into a new routine (plus I need extra time to get gas this morning!).

In the past, I dive in to this weight loss mission body and soul.  Only to feel deprived, overextended, and a tad resentful about the onslaught of changes.  So I'm wading into the healthy life style pool a little more gingerly.

Must confess,  have had some strong feelings about returning to California (which is completely out of the question for a minimum of three years - DD15's HS graduation).  Being back hasn't solved my life problems, and I didn't think it would, still the pull of the left coast -for whatever reason- is strong.

Work, if not challenging, is enjoyable.  Having made the decision to not make my job my life (again) and taking a step back in responsibility so that 60-hour weeks were a thing of the past, I have to accept that I am not going to find mental fulfillment between the hours of 9-5.  Still, I know that in three years, I will likely revisit this as I become an empty nester.  In the meantime, I will simply try to do the best job I can.

On that note... let the last work day before the holiday weekend begin!

Good golly...

am I actually stringing days together?  Like in a row?  Sticking to plan?  Journaling?  In a way that got me to goal last time?

Woohoo! 

Today:  Thursday is Chinese day in the office.  I ordered steamed chicken and vegetables and a side of edamame.  Tomorrow is pizza, but I'm going to try and limit to one slice and bring a side salad.  It is more than wonderful that they order/buy/deliver lunch for us every day.  It is forcing me to make better choices when I order off a menu.  Last week I had the cashew chicken.  What a difference a week makes!

Tonight:  Book club with enough food to feed a small army.  Managed to get out eating grapes, melon and carrot sticks.  (Passed on the brownies that were about as far away as my elbow.  When the aroma got to be too much I moved them from harm's way [my mouth] and left shortly thereafter.)

I might just be on to something here.  Dying to get back on the scale but will wait until Tuesday.

Halfway there...

the week, that is.  Sadly not my weight.

Yesterday:
DID go to the trainer
DID eat on plan
DID get enough sleep last night
DID make good choices

Did take an AmbienCR last night, but make no apologies as sleep is non-existent otherwise.  I did notice some forgetfulness yesterday, so I am sensitive to the side affects and making a more concerted effort to pay attention.  When they are gone, I will not ask for a refill.  After the sleep/copying at four in the morning, I am sensitive to the fact that I have experienced side effects.  Big boss returns to the office today, so will have to bring A Game and make a good impression.  No room for slip ups, this could be my chance...

Let today be day three!  (It already is = )

One step forward...

Monday, the start of the week... always a struggle to get out of the weekend mindset.  I feel a little pressure for not getting anything done around my house due to the drive back to college on Sat. for DS19, and the great furniture pick up on Sunday.  Last nights DS21 and DD16 came to visit so nothing got done last night either, but there was no down time which leaves me feeling tired this morning.

The trainer is at work today, so I will get a major booty kicking this afternoon.  On a good note, I did limit last night's pizza intake to one slice (supplemented with a green salad) so I managed to stay within points.  DD15 agreed to follow Weight Watchers with me in an effort to get us both on track.

I'm now a single working mother, with one child at home, back living in my own house, instead of across the country from everything that is near and dear to me.  I'm no longer married to my job... I'm on board and I'm ready to go!

The heck with the scale, it's just a temporary state... I'm on my way!

Rut Roh...

Had a sterling Sunday.  Went for a "run" (15 minute run/20 minute walk), ate on plan, journaled.  Woke feeling like I had turned the commitment corner.  Missed lunch and had the opportunity to buy junk at a convenience store when we stopped for gas, but resisted.  Had a healthy dinner at Panera and with the exception of thinking I could have had more protein, it was a good day.

Lots of running around yesterday so I woke a bit tired AND it was considerably warmer/more humid this morning, so AC on before I leave for work.  It feels good to have recommitted... Today is day 2. 

With a good solid day under my belt, I decided to brave the scale. 

176.6

No surprise there.  My guess was 175.  So, while I happen to be a quick gain, I also tend to be a quick loss.  The first ten will peel off, the rest I will have to work at.  *Sigh*  I can do it... I only wish I didn't have to!

Everyday is a new opportunity...

and yet I didn't get it right yesterday.  In fact I wasn't even close.  What's wrong with me?  Uggh!

I took DS19 back to college yesterday.  I know in my heart of hearts that this might have been his last summer living at home.  I remember being taken back to college and not wanting to do the lunch/dinner thing with the 'rents, so I simply took him to school, unloaded and left.  I didn't want to go back home to his empty and silent room - so I didn't.

I met a friend for lunch (did I really need chicken salad?) and then went shopping.  I am reluctant to buy pants in the hope that my time at this size will be fleeting so I bought a few tops.  I did try on a few pair of pants (side pockets are a no-no) but came home empty handed.  Thinking Kohl's this morning for a few pair of Dockers.  Getting dressed in the morning has been excruciatingly painful and I just want to be able to get dressed and go, so it will be worth the minor investment.  Black, navy and khaki should see me through.

My big purchase was one of those lighted magnifying mirrors.  Why you may ask?  I haven't a clue.  I was shocked to see my face magnified seven times and spent a ridiculous amount of time examining every pore.  Wow!  Skin care has moved up on my priority list!

Anyway, I digress.  I ate off plan all day and right into the night.  Journaling just did not happen.  I did not eat mindfully, I ate with abandon = (.  Today  I am disappointed in myself but realize today is also a golden opportunity to get it right. 

Today I'm picking up the dining room set and am excited to fill the room that has been empty since our return from California.  It also marks the first purchase of "big girl" furniture.  Everything I own is industrial strength child proof left over from when I was married.  This is a beautiful cherry Chippendale set that marks a stage of my life that is no longer predicated on choices for my four wonderful children.  This chapter is about me.  Time to stop hiding behind the weight and living my best life.

If not now, when?