Hey everyone. So I went to the doctor today for a check up. My barium swallow was normal and my blood test was normal. This is sooo frustrating!! I'm almost 100% sure that it's my gall bladder. I'm schedualed for an ultrasound for August 18th. I just with I could have done the ultrasound first. My mom, grandma, and all my aunts have had their gall bladders removed. I looked on a couple of medical sites and all my symptoms match something wrong with my gall bladder. It's just that every single time I finally get in to get an ultrasound, I start to feel better. Then like a year later I start getting sick. I'm so over being sick all the time. It's not all in my head...I'm feeling real pain, real nausea, and real annoyance! I just want to be totaly healthy so I can go back to work and start being independent again. I'm so tired all the time like I have no strength left. The couple of hours a day when I feel good are devoted to exercising as much as I possibly can. My eating is fine because I don't want to eat. Every single bite that I eat hurts now. The only way that food stays down is by taking gravol all the time. And that makes me feel all woozy and tired. I hate putting all the financial burden on my boyfriend...he shouldn't have to pay for everything.
Anyway enough of my rant. I know that it'll all work out and be ok. It's just being in the middle of it thats stressfull. I hope that you're all doing well..Talk to you all later!
Well I know yesterday was bad but I'm feeling so much better today! I finally gave in and weighed myself...drum roll please!!!
Ok thats enough....I lost 10 pounds!!! I couldn't believe it when I got on the scale...I really couldn't. I knew I lost some but I didn't think I lost that much. Talk about a self esteem boost! Now I'm off to eat my organic oatmeal and call my family!
I'm having a really bad day today. I got fired from my job in the beginning of June because of health problems. As soon as I lost my job I went to the doctor and started the application for medical unemploymnet. It's now been almost two months and I still haven't gotten any money. I'm getting really stressed out cause I have all last months bills and this months bill coming out of my bank account within the next week. I've also been getting some of "thoes" phone calls already. I just explained to them that when the government gets me some money I'll give it to them.
So all this stress is making me feel sicker. I'm not too sure but we suspect gall bladder. I'm always naucous and dizzy, and I get this bad stabbing pain in the right side of my stomach off and on but especialy after I eat....no matter what I eat. So ya it's been really bad these past couple of days...but especially today. I just feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper. And yes thoes nasty dark thoughs of everyone being better off without a burden like me are going though my head.
The only good thing is that I'm not letting this effect my eating or my exercise. Which is a twist cause before I would just binge on junk. So I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't get the money in time. It said on my online account that it would get reviewed tomorow or friday. So everyone cross your fingers and say a prayer for me. I just have to remember that everything happens for a reason and that after this is done and over with I'll be a stronger person. But when you're in the middle of something like this it's hard to see an end. I know I can do it...I just have to keep telling myself that.
P.S. I'm also stressing cause in about three weeks I'll be going to the Saskatoon Exibition. Last year I went to the Edmonton Exibition and I almost didn't fit on my favorite ride. People laughed when the guy had to come and slam the bar down so it would lock. At least he was nice about it, he got close and whispered what he had to do so only I would hear what he was saying. I'm so scared cause I think I'm still bigger then I was last year. The worst thing in the world would be to get turned away cause I can't fit on the ride. Stress! Stress! Stress! I need to go exercise now...nausea and all!
Hey everyone!! Today has been pretty good. I brought my kitten Lucy into the vet for her one week check up after getting spayed and the vet said that shes doing great. Usually they have to spend the night after getting spayed but Lucy was being so active and was doing so well that she got to come home the same day.
I just finished my weight lifting dvd. I have the entire Ripped series and I love it soooo much! Jari Love is so amazing! And anyone can do the workouts too...no matter what your fittness level is. You just start out with a smaller weight and do the modified version and then build from there. I'm not even tired right now. I got a good workout...cause my muscles are sore...but I have soooo much energy. Which is good cause I still have a half an hour of cardio to do still...LOL! I really love the feeling after you have a really good workout...where you're sitting down having a rest and your muscles start twinging a little. Makes me so proud of myself
Well everyone I'm hungry so I should go make my smoothie that I've been looking forward to all day. Frozen fruit and yogurt...soooo yummy! Talk to you all later and positive vibes to everyone!
P.S. I just finished my 30min of cardio(it's a shape cardio workout) and now, yes, I am tired...LOL!!
Hey everyone!! How are all you doing?? I'm doing great!
I really don't understand something...I've decided to totaly cut out all junk food, pop, and fast food. So every single calorie that goes into my mouth isn't an empty calorie...like it has to have some kind of health benifits. Everyone has been telling me that that's "too drastic" and that "I need to treat myself once and a while". I don't get this statement at all!
***insert sarcasm here**--> Ya I'll treat myself to something bad...and then I can treat myself to a bigger butt or some jiggly thighs!! It makes no sence at all. A treat should be something good...shouldn't it?? Something benificial..right?? Before I used to use the "treat" excuse and I didn't loose weight. If I'm going to treat myself to something it'll be what I treated myself to yesterday. A nice long, hot bubble bath. With some candles and clasical music. Now that is a nice treat! Or I'll go get something done at my sisters spa or I'll buy a new exercise video.
I really think that saying "I can have that...I diserve a treat" Is so over used to justify eating things that aren't healthy. I think if you really want something you'll do everything in your power to get it. All I want in life is to be at a healthy weight...and I'll to everything in my power to get it. That include saying no to things that will slow down my progress.
Unhealthy food is like a drug, sometimes you have to just say no!! Positive vibes to you all!!
They said my post was too long so I made it into 2!
The link is:http://www.caloriesperhour.com/index_loss.php
So If I make a calorie deficit of 1604 every day...I'll reach my goal weight in 12 months. Which is perfect cause my friends wedding is 13 months away!
So this means that I need to pump up the activity, exercising at least an hour each day, and spend less time on my butt watching tv. If you're interested in the links and you can't figure it out just message me and I'll give you a hand.
Have a great day everyone and think thin!
P.S. Is it weird that my exercise clothes feel looser after only a week?? Cause my shirt is looking baggy and my capris are looser in the butt area...I'm tempted to weigh in but I only want to do that once a month.
Well everything is going really well. My kitten is recovering from her spaying...I'm having a hard time keeping her from wrestling with her older sister. Lucy is such a playfull, active kitten so I'm finding myself puttin one or the other in the bedroom for extended periods of time. I feel so bad doing it but the vet tech said not to be cause she needs 7-10 days of recovery time and I'm sure wrestling and running around the house with her sis is not good recovery time. So I'm trying to reasure myself that putting her in the bedroom is the best thing for her right now...even though it breaks my heart hearing her little mews coming out from under the door:( *sob* If I'm this bad with my cats...I can't immagine how I'm going to be when I eventually have human babies. Yes my cats are my babies:)
I found an amazing site where you can calculate how long it will take you to get to your goal weight. And if you have a strict timeline like me...there's a calculator that figures out how much of a calorie deficit that you need to create every day to do so. I had never heard of a calorie deficit before but you need to know it to loose weight. Basicly you take how many calories you burn in a day and subtract how many calories you eat. That number is a calorie deficit. So If I burn 3000calories in a day and then eat 1500calories...my calorie deficit is 1500(which is exactly how much of a deficit i need to get to my goal). The site said that you can create this deficit easier by lowering you calories taken in from food and increase the calories you burn through exercise.
Hey everyone...yes I'm still here! I've actually been busy for a change...wow sure beats doing nothing at home. Well my younger step-sister came up to Saskatoon for a visit (she's 18) and I went with her and my other step-sister (19) to go see Prince Caspian the new Narnia movie. I saw it opening weekend but they haven't seen it so we went to that. I love everthing about Narnia and I've read the book too.
My little kitten who's 4 months old had to get spayed yesterday (her name is Lucy...now do you see how much I love Narnia! LOL!) So I've been so worried about her...she seems fine and right now is playing with her toy mouse. She is a little more cuddlier than usual but other then that she's acting like her normal goofy little self.
Now that I have my eating ironed out I really need to work on exercise. I've done it almost every day for the last week...but I feel I could be doing more. Especially since I'm at home all day. I need to come up with an exercise plan that allows me to chose between a couple of different things so I have options depending on how I feel at the time. If I make a plan where I can only do one thing on a specific day then I'll get frustratedif I don't feel like doing that certain exercise and I'll be more likely to miss exercise days.
I feel like something has clicked in my head. My family is noticing to. After making healthing eating and exercise a priority for a week it's like a good habit that I can follow. Before fast food comercials made me want to eat the food shown on the tv...now when I see them I feel kinda sick to my stomach. Now that I've really decided to do this with no excuses all my familiy has told me how worried they have been about me. That makes me sad...I don't want my family to have to worry. They've been trying to tell me things for years but I guess that untill now I haven't been ready to here what they have to say. They all have said how proud they are of me...but the best part is that I feel proud of myself for stepping up to the plate and finally doing it. I know I have a long way to go but with the help of my family, friends, and fellow bloggers I know I can do it....and I know you all can to!
Well today has been a good day. My boyfriend decided to take me out for lunch. I am so proud of myself!! I had grilled chicken on a bun with lettus and tomato. I asked for no mayo and I put hot sauce on it. We went to this resturant thats origionaly from the states called origional joes(it just opened up here in saskatoon)...they have the best sides selection! There's nine different things to choose from. I opted for a double order of vegtables and dip...I got italian and when I dipped I wiped off the excess so there wasn't very much on it at all...and I drank water! My dining companions had the double hot dog with bacon and cheese with the mashed potatos and gravey, sweet potato fries, and pasta salad....all I can say is ewwwwwww!!! I couldn't hide the disgusted look on my face. My boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I told him that his entire days worth of calories and fat were sitting on his plate. He wasn't fazed and I said "well I don't want to have a heart attack before I'm 30". I wouldn't have commented on other peoples food but he's started to complain that he wants to loose weight too....eating that is not the way to go. And normaly I would be looking at their food and be jealous but this time I wanted to gag just looking and smelling it. That's another thing that makes me happy...cause I know I'm changing the way I look at food.
Later I have a huge chalange. I'm going to a movie!!! But I'm going prepared...I'm taking everything out of my purse, I'm taking along my water bottle, and a bag of veggtables and raisons. I have a huge weakness for popcorn and movie theatre popcorn is the worst for you...even without butter on it. I've tried to do this before by sneaking in a bag of those mini rice cakes that come in chip flavors. They do have a low calorie and fat content but lets be honest with ourselves ladies...they have so much salt!! Not good.
I'm really liking this site and blogging really helps. Thanks to all who commented on my last posts..I really look forward to going through this weight lose journey with you all! Have an amazing day everyone and remember this quote from Henry Ford "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right."
Well today is day two and I'm feeling really good about my decision to be healthier. I've been off work for about a month because of health reasons. I've been going through tests to find out what's wrong but so far nothing. It was IBS but things started getting worse so hopefully the doctor figures out whats wrong so I can get a new job and go back to work. For that month I was really depressed. I though about ending it all every day. I still think about it fairly often but I think it's starting to get better.
Today I'm at my sisters spa. She's really busy so I'm working reception so she can handle her clients. I'm not doing very much but it sure feels better then doing nothing at home.
I started exercising yesterday. Not a whole lot...but almost an hour in my appartments little gym room. The equipment is terrible but I can't afford to go to a real gym untill I start working again.
I think the two weddings that are coming up are really modivating me to change. I also really like this bloging thing to. It helps to get all these crazy emotions out. Well good luck to me and everyone else who's in the midst of this turbulent battle called weight loss...fight on my alies!!
