03/11/2010 17:34
A Better Day
Well last night didn't end in total disaster. My husband, who is being super supportive while I try to lose the extra weight and get in shape, recommended that we wait to go out until the weekend-that way I wouldn't be over in points for the day and I wouldn't have to stress about it. It was really great to have him make the suggestion, I appreciate it more than he knows. So, I ended up only being over yesterday by 4 points, which is tolerable. Its nowhere close to what it would have been if I would have gone out last night.
I'm doing better today. I wrote in my journal forever last night and I feel much better this morning. I need to make a daily habit of doing that so that I don't get so overwhelmed with my subconcious always trying to process everything. I got on the scale this morning (I can't just get on it once in the week) and I'm only up 0.2 pounds, so that was a pleasant surprise...I figured it would be a couple pounds.
I'm going to get on the elliptical. My goal is 20 minutes, but 30 would make my day!
Posted By: spring_jacka
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03/10/2010 21:30
...
I haven't posted here in a while...the absence isn't intentional, I just have not wated to do anything on the computer lately...
I'm not having a very good week. It started out alright, my weight was down a little on Monday morning when I got on the scale. But as the week has progressed I feel like I'm falling farther and farther down this little black hole. I can't pin-point the mood change to any one thing either, which is driving me crazy. I have completly blown the weight watchers plan for this week...already out of extra points for the week and out of points for the day today, which is a bum deal because my husband is taking me out tonight. I didn't exercise yesterday, as it was my day off, but I haven't done anything today either. I'm in this funk for some reason and I am having a terrible time pulling myself out of it.
Maybe it is all related to not getting the financial aid I need to finish school? I don't know. The situation was/is extremely frustrating, but I didn't think it had stressed me out. I've been upset about it a couple days over the last week and a half, but it didn't seem major. Perhaps its bothering me more than I care to let myself know?
I need to just start journaling faithfully every single day so that I don't have anything left in there to worry about...that would be a good goal for next week...
Posted By: spring_jacka
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03/01/2010 15:44
Starting Out...Again...
My weight is up, as I knew it would be. I am feeling better today. I got myself rehydrated over the weekend and so far no one else has shown any signs of having that nasty bug. It can just stay that way as far as I am concerned!
I joined Weight Watchers this morning. I just made the decision over the weekend that I would do it. The program will help me focus on proper portions, which is something I struggle with and have...well, forever. I've spent the last hour checking out their site and I am really looking forward to tracking my food progress so that I know what areas of my diet are good and then get help with the areas that are bad. Another step in the right direction.
I watched an episode of Ruby last night. That woman really is an inspiration. I saw a couple of the first shows, when she was at her heaviest. I admire her for going on national television for the duration of her journey. I couldn't do it! She has lost a lot of weight so far and I think she looks amazing now, even though she still has some work to do. Its a clear case of "if she can do it, I can do it!" I mean, I am not facing the health challenges that she was and if she can make this kind of progress with those challenges, there is no reason why I can't do the same. It was inspiring to see that this really is possible, I just have to put a little work into it.
I am off to move the treadmill to a new location so that it is kind of in my face every day and I will have to get on it. Its back in a corner right now and its easy to forget that its there...another step in the right direction.
Posted By: spring_jacka
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02/27/2010 05:36
Bad ending to a good start
I was so proud of myself on Monday for actually getting up and doing something. That was ahuge step for me. I was looking forward to doing it again on Tuesday becaue the overall good feeling on Monday was great!
There was no walking on Tuesday...there was hardly any moving...I woke up about 3am with the worst case of the stomach flu I have ever had in my life. I called my mom as soon as I thought she might be up to make arrangements for my daughter. Thank goodness it was a school day for my son. And I'm glad my husband was at work. As soon as my mom picked up the kids I literally grabbed my pillow and a blanket and didn't move anything other than my head to make sure I was positioned over the trash can. It was awful. And it lasted until bright and early Thursday morning. Needless to say, the remainder of Thursday was spent trying to get rehydrated and disinfecting everything in my house in hopes that the rest of the family does not have to suffer through such a nasty ordeal. There was no walking today either because, frankly, I'm exhausted! I'm hoping to be recovered by Monday morning so I can start over...again...
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On another note, I am *don't know the right word yet* at/with my husband. I have all but begged him for the better part of two years to do something with me to help me lose a little weight. He always says that he'll do whatever I need him to because I have researched a lot of different things as far as eating right and getting exercise. The thing is, when it comes time to actually do it, he never does. I finally gave up on asking him because it was putting a damper on my motivation. All I have asked him for since then is for moral support. I mean, I can count on one hand how many friends I have here in our little town. None of them are interested in fitness or making healthy choices, which is fine, to each their own. I don't shove my lifestyle on them and they don't shove theirs off on me. But because we think so differently about food and fitness, they offer nothing to me as far as encouragement or motivation. My husband isn't offering anything either and its really getting me down. Then he comes home the other day and says that his cousin and some other guys want him to start playing basketball 1 or 2 nights a week. He's excited about it and it upsets me. Not because I don't want him to go, just because I've been asking him the same thing for 2 years and getting nothing. A guy asks and everything changes?? I don't get it. I don't know if I'm angry at him or just upset with him. I don't know what emotion it is that I'm feeling, but I don't like it. And I don't know if I should try to talk to him about it because I don't want to upset him, you know. Ugh...
I knew that doing this on my own wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't expect it to be this rough either...
Posted By: spring_jacka
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02/22/2010 13:51
One Small Step
I did it! I got up off the couch this morning and did a 1 mile walk with Leslie Sansone. I bought the Walk Away the Pounds program about 2 years ago, gave it a try for a few weeks, lost a little, felt tons better, but didn't stick with it. I'm not entirely sure why...Its easy enough for me to do, starting out as a beginner once again, so I think this is what I'll be doing for now. I feel guilty that the treadmill is sitting there collecting dust, but I'm really not sure my joints are ready for it.
I had a pretty decent weekend, with the exception of the snow...I am so over winter. I'm ready for sunshine and warm temperatures so I can get out and get the flowers planted. I also am anxious to get the garden dug up and replanted. Last years tomatoes were awesome! I had a few extremely bored moments over the weekend when everyone was happy and there was nothing to be done and I almost gave in to the chips and pepsi that were calling me from the counter...instead, I grabbed a glass of water and then went and brushed my teeth and completely killed that craving. I was proud of myself for that. I've done a pretty good job of not giving in to my emotional eating here lately. Gum chewing has been a big help. I know that I save a ton of calories each day by not giving in and that, I think< is why the scale has stopped moving up. Now that I am putting a little bit of exercise into my day, hopefully I start to see it go down just a little.
Well, 10 minutes til the kids get up. Time to get this very cold, very white Monday started!
Posted By: spring_jacka
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02/19/2010 21:17
Starting Out
Weight: 244.0
Height: 5' 8"
Chest: 45.5 inches
Waist: 49 inches
Hips: 50 inches
Thigh: 29 inches
Jean Size: 18W or 20W
Shirt Size: XL
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Not numbers that I am proud of, but they make up me at the moment. I want to change those numbers and that is my goal for 2010.
I have set my ultimate weight goal at around 185 pounds-the number the doctor and I agreed would benefit me the best. Its a little frustrating because if I put that number into any sort of BMI calculator, I am told that I will still be considered obese, when in reality, I will be perfect for me! Perfect for my shape, perfect for my body type...not obese.
Anyway, my short term goal is to be down about 20 pounds by the end of May. I picked the end of May because that is when our annual trail ride is and I don't want to be struggling to get on and off of my horse anymore.
I am really more concerned with toning up than I am with actually losing weight. Things are a little more like jell-o that I would like them to be. My arms, my abdomen (which I still partly blame on the emergency c-section!) and my thighs all wiggle a little too much for my liking. The weight loss part is a recommendation from my doctor to lower the risk of diabetes and certain cancers, which seem to plague my family. I'm all for not spending any time in the hospital! And I'm a little squeamish at the thought of having to poke my own finger and give myself a shot...something about that just bothers me.
I would love to become a runner this year as I work toward my goal. Not a marathon runner by any means, just someone who loves to run because it makes them feel good. I know that I am in no shape to just jump on the treadmill and run any number of miles, but I would like to work up to running 3-5 daily. The benefits would be amazing...and I miss it from my high school track team days.
I'm not changing my eating habits, mainly because I don't eat that horrible. Also because I am more worried about getting an exercise routine down before anything else changes. I am very sedentary in the cold, winter months. I am studying to be a Medical Transcriptionist and that requires a lot of computer time, which does nothing for ones figure. I have two kids, so not all my time is spent on my rear, but a good portion of it is and that will change this year.
I came to this site hoping to find some people with similar goals who could help hold me accountable. I'm not very social in the town that I live, so friends are few and far between. My family that lives close all think they are too busy to incorporate exercise into their lives. That kind of leaves me on my own, so I am hoping to find a few (or many more!) online buddies to help keep me on track and focused!
Posted By: spring_jacka
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