ok so idf your wondering how i'm doing on the changelle Awful!! first few days i tried then i feel the f*ck off. as usual right. so sad. anyway i have to PUSH PUSH PUSH myself as hard as possible. i have to think one day at a time. its so damn hard getting through just one day without junk food or fast food. this is unreal. i feel addicted to bad foods. like its a drug. like i'm strung out. honestly that's how it feels. that's pathatic. anyway i'm gona keep trying. i have to. rethinking somethings and changing my goals and goal dates. anyway i have to lose atleast 50lbs by my bday. august that is. oh and did i mention i've been getting sick. Yep the past week any bad food i eat i have to vomit. yucky i know. i took 2 pregency test both negitive. maybe this is a sign to get this weight off or maybe my mind is so concern about gaining i'm making myself sick without realizing it. plus i been having slight chest pains and i'm super super out of it from walking up 3 flights of stairs and my legs feel so heavy as i go up. i'm about 216 now my heaviest ever and honestly it kinda gross me out so i can't imagine what other peopkle think. fat rools on my back gross. i went from being small in school then to medium then large but still sexy not fat by far. but now how can i not call myself fat. it is what it is i never thought i would have to call myself that word but its true. i hate this and something has got to give. i can't be the pretty fat girl. i just can't do it. antway it feels good to release this emotion. please add me be my pen pal. comment anything to help keep me motivated

Ok so today i decided to start a biggest loser changelle with myself and some co workers. everyone writes there weight and at the end of 2 months whoever loses the most wins a pot of 160.00. this is great losing weight and making money. oh yeah. i really feel this will keep me motivated. so wish me luck. i am gonna bring my lunch eat healty and work out hard. my goal is 40lbs. even if i lose 25 its stilla good thing. i'm excited. will keep u posted with my progress

As  i read over my previous post it makes me want to cry. I have been wanting to lose weight so long and it seems I start then the smallest thing gets me off track. I end up eating worst than before and gaining even more. Now i'm about 213 I'm guessing. this is sad as hell. I even paid medical weight loss but i don't go i havent had one sucess week on the plan as a matter of fact not one successful day. it worked in the past i lost about 20lbs in a month but ofcourse put it back on. i have to find what motivates me what will make me stick with it. i really wanna look good this summer and even my boyfriend has mention i'm gaining weight. i have a sit dowm job and it doesnt help that the people i habg around just want to order food all day. idk i;m thinking about us all starting a weight loss changelle maybe this will get us all on track.hopefully it works i'm going shopping saturday and wil start t his all over agian. wish me luck. i plan to post on here more often to it seems the people who stay on here alot are really successful. i'm glad there is a site like this it really helps. anyway  i'm not gonna quick i need to be happy and healty so here we go again. somethings gotta change this time around and it has to be my weight. today is april 13 goal by may 13 to be 12 lbs less i can do it. leave comments it helps

ok so today was a bad day. i mindless ate jusnk food like crazy. i really have to stop ths. so once again i'm going give it another shot. i am just gonna choose to eat healthy read labels be mindful of what i eat and execise at least a hour a day. because this diet thing is so up and down and i will never los weight this way. I NEED MOTIVATION, DISCPLINE AND DETERMINATION. I really need to buckle down on my diet.  I'm in my brother's wedding September 18 2010 and i want to lose 25lbs by then. fingers crossed. if your reading this please add me as a friend and leave comments it really helps.