oh man...

Well, I thought I was doing pretty good. I was feeling pretty motivated after losing my goal for this week of 3 lbs, and then I tried on a dress!! Oh Man!! I have the Marine Corps Ball comming up and I look ridiculous! I have NEVER been so heavy and I feel gross. The thought of getting all dressed up disgusts me. The ball has always made me feel pretty and special for the night. I really wish I didn't have to go this year. There's no possible way for me to look decent for it in 3 weeks. *sigh* I'm feeling so discouraged and beaten. Ugh.

I'm BAAAAACK!

Hello out there! I'm back!!

Well, my dieting was on hiatus this past year because I had another baby 8 weeks ago!! A little boy....Brody. He was actually born on his big sister, Evelyn's birthday! Crazy!

In that time, we also moved to a new state & bought our first house! (talk about stressors!) I also managed to gain 45 lbs durring my pregnancy! *gulp* I dropped 25 off the bat, but am not stuck at my current weight, so back to the drawing board!

My ultimate goal is to lose 40 lbs, but to be honest, I'd be happy with 35 lbs by April 1, 2008! (why not set the bar high, right?!)

My first mini goal is to be at 145 by the USMC birthday ball on Nov. 9th (that's 11 lbs in 4 weeks)

My second mini goal is to run a 2.5 mile Turkey trot on Thanksgiving morning with my husband and sisters. I have already signed up to run it, so there's not turning back now. If I don't want to look like an idiot, I better get my butt out there and run! (there's a little moto for ya!)

Alright, I'll be back next wednesday for my weigh in. Come on 3 lbs!!!!

my first 2!

Alright, first weight in went well. I'm down 2 lbs. I'm happy with that. Surprisingly, I feel more motivated then ever, which I'm the most happy about.

I'm starting to get nervous about Halloween. I am going to TX to visit my best friend who had her 2nd little girl last month and will be staying for 10 days....including Halloween, and her 2 yo B-day party. I knw that it would be disasterous if I deny mself completly of all sweets (I'm a total sweet-a-holic!!!) so, I have to just decided ahead of time what I'm going to have and when. I already warned her of my weight loss efforts and my girlfriend said she's be suportive and we'd watch what we eat together (she's the best!!!)

I had set a mini goal of 5 lbs loss by Nov. 11th. That's the day of the Marine Corps Ball. I'm only 3 lbs away now! I hope I can keep up with what I've begun!

time for a walk

So, I'm constantly making excuses why I "can't" go for a walk, or exercise. I always find something else I need to do, and it's true I'm busy and have things I need to do, but why do I always put ANYTHING else before it....umm, because I don't like it! I do not like exercising. My husband, he likes it. He gets a "high" from it, and I'm so envious of that. I even trained and ran an 8k back in march, nope still didn't like it. I liked the way it felt after a run, but the only motivation I had to get my butt out to the road and run was that I didn't want to look like and idiot the day of the race and not make time. I guess most people struggle with this too....it's still nice to vent sometimes!

I need motivation. Where's my motivation?

Well, I'm making the time tomorrow. Hate it or not. I have the day off, and of course, I list a mile long of things I want to accomplish: clean the house, do the laundry, buy and send a baby gift, make halloween costumes....on top of finding time to play with and entertain my 2 year old daughter.

Here's my other dilemma.

We like to get pregnant again. I'm finding my motivation lacking due to the fact that if I do get pregnant (and I do want to) I cannot keep losing weight, so it's one of those "why start" things. I know, I know, it's terrible for me to have that attitude, that's why I'm bloging about  it, and I've tried to make a hundred other excuses, but I know deep down there's my lack of drive.

Ok, weight in on wednesday. Hope I see it go down. Maybe I can still drop some before getting pregnant. I have almost a month...even 5 lbs is 5 lbs...right?

burger joint dilemma

Ok, so lay it on me...what should I have done? My husband and I went out to eat (dun, dun, dun!) at this local burger joint, and that's all they serve. It was past dinner time, so I was hungry. I ordered a "little" burger, no cheese, and we "split" an order of homemade fries (and by that I mean he ate more 40/60).

Any suggestions?

I wanted to only eat 1/2 of my burger, but it would have left me hungry and I would have snacked all night long. I didn't know we were going out to eat, so I didn't plan the rest of my day around it.  Can I make up for it tomorrow? Will that count, or help?

*sigh* I hate the guilt.

first slip

Alright, so I paid attention today. Whew, not easy. I forgot how fast it all adds up! Had a big slip at the end of the day. It's just me and my 2 yo, so we had dance party, movie night and went cookie crazy! I tracked my food in the log, and was surprised at how "ok" I still did, even after the slip. I probably would have been more discouraged, had I not check it all out. I would have hit my goal daily calories, had I not slipped either, so that may give me a bit more moto next time I crave a bindge. Moderation is now my motto! :)

and we're off...

Ok, first day. Found out I'm not pregnant again today, so I've taken on a weight loss mission instead.  I have a class reunion next summer, and my goal weight is my hs graduation weight, as well as a 20lb mark. Recently miscarried and want to be as healthy as possible starting at my ideal weight and BMI next time I get pregnant. But mostly, my handsome Marine hubby is alway in tip top shape and I'd like to  make him proud.