Today is Wednesday, 03/22/08. Yesterday made 2 full months that I have officially started to permanently change my life. While I do think that I could have done more to reach my goals a little faster (exercising more), I am totally proud of how far I have come. This is the Fight of my Life. I refuse to be another victim. I fall sometimes, but I get back up. I will never let food control me again. I am excited to say I am down 17 lbs! Last week I fell off, TOM got the best of me but the important thing is I got right back up. For that, I am proud of myself. My energy levels are great. Oh yeah, did I say I love my life? LOL!
Okay, let’s talk about The Biggest Loser. I am really hoping that Kelly goes home next week. I want the Finale to be between Alli and Roger. Alli looks amazing and I totally Iadmire her, but I think she is a great weight now and losing anymore would be kind of weird (is that the word to use)? She also looks a lot older but that’s a part of the territory I guess. Also, Hell’s Kitchen is back and I love Chef Ramsey. He is hilarious. He called one guy an ignorant donkey. I was laughing so uncontrollably hard. I am totally addicted to certain reality TV shows. Does anyone know if Kid Nation is coming back on? I like that show.
So since the month just began I am going to do some short term goals for the month. Although other people on EP always do it, it’s a first for me. So keep an eye out and of you have any suggestions that may get me going, let me know!! Be successful!
Today is Sunday, March 09, 2008. On January 21st 2008 I decided to make a lifestyle change, officially dedicating myself to losing weight, keeping it off and maintaining healthy eating habits forever. I have decided to permanently commit myself because with these changes I hope to attain:
Comfort in any and all social situations
Top Notch Self Confidence
Physical Health w/out any restraints
The ability to shop where I want (No more Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart, etc.)
Although there are other things that motivate me also such as the blogging of all of my fellow EPers and freedom from my “fat girl” mentality, I must keep my primary reasons in my head 24-7. Now why would I say that? Because I must motivate myself when I get the urge to go and get some Nuggets and Lemonade from Chick-Fil-a or some pancakes from Village Inn. I have to think about my long term goals and ask myself will I be satisfied with the decision I made when it’s all over. After I have stuffed my face. NO!!! I wont. I refuse to fail this time. I can do this. I will do this!
I dont hate myself either. What I hate is going out of Friday nights and getting on the scale the following Monday and seeing like a 1/2 lb to a 1lb gain. WTF??
So on that note does anyone have any recommendations?? I know I soundcrazy but are there any low cal/low carb liquors out there. And yes I am so serious guys.....otherwise I will go with my Grey Goose and Cranberry Juice and deal with the consequences next week!!
Okay so I lied, I got on the scale last night and I wasnt supposed to until this coming Monday, but I did and guess what? I am down to 255! Yayy! I started at 271 (I just cant figure out how to adjust that on my tracker). So thats down an entire 16 lbs! Yay Keshia! I just had to FYI you guys in on that. I am so excited. I have been working out really hard (especially) this week. I havent been cheating (although the weekend is at hand)! Trust me I have wanted to but one of my fellow EPers gave a response to one of my blogs that really stuck with me and it helps. When I get urges, I simply ask myself:
Why do I want to eat?Am I hungry?Can I be proud of the choice I am about to make?
It really works people ! Seriously. So I am confident about the weekend. I really can't wait to get to the point that I dont have to think that a simple weekend could just be total chaos for me and maybe one day I will get there. Dunno?? Whatever the case maybe, at this moment I am happy with the choices I have made. I feel strong and nothing can stop me.
I love myself. I love myself alot might I add. And because I love myself I am trying to minimize and/or eliminate the things in my life that give me grief. Believe it or not, the thing that gives me the most grief in my life is my weight. What's funny about it is, I have been overweight all of my life and it's not until these recent years that I have realized that it is an issue. I guess after being diagnosed with high blood pressure and after I went to Disney World in the later part of 2007 and feeling the effects on my body just weren't what I was used to. I decided to do something about it. It took me a while to get it together, but I am here and I have been doing the right things (with some pitfalls) since January. Im proud of myself. I feel strong. I didnt gain this weight overnight so I know that i wont lose it that way. I know there will be (shit, there already has been) challenges. (Please excuse my potty mouth!) But I am ready. I am determined.
Okay on to other things, my weekend was just great for all of my COGIC girls out there or for any churchgoers at that, we had our annual musical convention this past Saturday and Dorinda Clark-Cole was there. OMG! Was she beautiful! Now admittingly I did not stay the entire service because church folks can be long winded sometimes and I was trying to get to Ybor City to Tampa Live (how contradictory right, CHURCH THEN THE CLUB?) I had a good time though. Dorinda was beautiful. A sanctified version of Beyonce.....if that works!?!?!? I also went out Friday night and that was my confirmation that I am never drinking again. I shouldnt be anyways because the cals in liquor is ridiculous, but on Fridays I am a lush. I officially hit the lowest of all lows on Friday though because I threw up all in my car after I got put out of the club for throwing up of course. It was just a bad experience and on that note I am going to keep it at home for a minute....lol!.
As for my eating over the past few days it has been good BESIDES my binge drinking. I watch my calories (fat grams) as well as carbs because I try not to go strictly on certain things that deprive me of the "fix" that I need to maintain healthy eating because that is what will cause you to go on a eating rampage. For instance every few days if I just have to have some fast food I will go to EVOS, which is a nice healthy fast food restaurant. I know some of you are like WTF? But check it out for yourself: www.evos.com As I have said before I dont want this to be just another diet so I am trying to change my eating habits all together. No sodas of sugary drinks, water mostly. No fried foods and few salty foods. No really fatty meats and few breads. If I am snacking it's usually a 100 cal snack or fruits. I refuse to be a failure this time. So If I want change, I have to initiate it right??
So I was thinking last night that I am going to take my EP blogging to another level. Some of you do and some of you don't remember me as KeshiaTime from Youtube. I deleted my account on 02/01/08 because I wanted to explore new things. Well I am going to reinvent the v-logging aspect of it and start posting videos on EP via a private youtube acct. So that will be exciting. I am going to post today when I get home. I am a real talker so this should work out better for me anyways.
On the other hand if anyone want to talk to me, feel free to hit me up on YIM: missmarkeshia2000 (I AM usually always signed in via SidekickLX) or hit me up at keshiatime@tmail.com.
Luv ya People,
<~><Keshia><~>
One more thing, I have decided to weigh in bi-weekly on Monday mornings so I wont know until this coming Monday and that will probably be when the depression demon tries to ride me........lol!
Okay so today is Wednesday and the last 4 or 5 days have not been great for me. So am I the only person who thinks that eating one thing outside of whatever "diet" regimen you are on can totally throw you off for a few days. Can you please raise your hand? That is why my coworkers just dont understand when I say, "No! I dont want just "one" slice of pizza!" or "No! I dont want a donut!" I cant handle it because I want more and more and more. You know people dont really understand that overeating can be just as addictive as drugs. It's very hard to control and we all know it's mental but it is killer.
Now that I am done ranting, on to my story. My GF and I went to the Florida State Fair this past Friday and my intention was to go to see my co-worker belly dance (and I did) however, I ate like a pig after the show. I had an Italian Sausage with onions and peppers, a slice of pizza, a fried oreo and a piece of a corn dog. OMG at the time I felt like those things were totally worth it. Talk about getting a week worth of calories in a few hours?? I felt disgusted afterwards. So I thought to myself, Okay!?!? I messed up but I just have to bounce back. WRONG! I have not been eating like I did that day but I've eaten "out of the norm" the last few days. For instance I had pancakes and an omelette from Village Inn yesterday for breakfast and today I had a cup of coffee with GOD knows how many packs of sugar in it. I have exercised, but thats pointless when I have been eating senselessly. I dont want to gain my 11 lbs. back WTF? This is supposed to be a permanent lifestyle change this time, not just another diet. SMH @ myself! i dunno Kesh.......................I dunno!
Today is a new day, new endeavors and I am so excited!! This morning I got up and got on the treadmill for a whole 25 mins at 3.0 mph (no incline) but I am proud of myself. I have realized that in order to get up in the morning and exercise I have to be in bed by 9:00. But as for today I have the victory. I just got my treadmill 2 days ago and its really nice (it was kind of pricey) but it was totally worth it. I have no excuses and boy does it give me the work out I need. I still love WATP because Leslie Sansone is so encouraging. But here is a pic of the treadmill:
This morning I even got up in time enough to make me some egg beaters and 3 strips of turkey bacon, it was delicious. I am so amped up this morning too. I just don’t understand why. Whatever the case maybe, it feels good. I really feel as if I am going to do it this time. I’ve lost entire 9 lbs. I am happy!! I haven’t noticed any results yet, but I feel better.
I am really looking to start chatting with someone who is really in to this whole “get fit” think like I am. I think the extra encouragement will help, so if you are interested, hit me up onYIM: missmarkeshia2000
Wow. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. Nonetheless, I am still on track. I have been watching my calorie intake vigourously and I have been exercising 1-2 times a day almost everyday. I am determined to make a permanent lifestyle change this time. I have lost 6 lbs already. YAAY! However, the scales can be deceiving at times! My back is feeling a little better the more that I get my cardio on versus when I was inactive. I think its very important to maintain a positive attitude and stay around positive people.
With that being said the first and best things that I have done this far in 2008 is delete my youtube and myspace accounts. I am so happy! Right now I just dont have the time that I used to commit to those things. My spare time is strictly limited to things that are to better me now. It feels great. It feels great to feel like for once that I really, really, care about myself. There are so many things in the world that I could be doing, but I am going for the positive at this point in my life. I've just come to the realization that if I am unhappy with a certain aspect of my life, I am the primary source of change. It just feels so good. I just hope I can keep it up. Until, next time...............
Today was a beautiful day. I totally ate sensibly. I have been watching my calories like crazy. I even forced myself to get up this morning and Walk Away thE Pounds. It gave me immense energy throughout the day and I just feel good about myself all together. I had one of those new Lean Cuisine Flatbread Sandwiches for lunch and it was great. I had some 100 cal cookies after lunch as a snack but it didnt hold me over I was so freaking hungry after work that I couldnt control myself. So before dinner I ate a South Beach Diet breakfast wrap (only 9 ft grams). I was having an attack and instead of going to get something off of the dollar menu at Mickey D's I ate that. But for dinner I went Evos which is a healthy restaurant and I had a turkey burger and it was great. Only 17 fat grams in the entire meal which is a drastic decrease in fat for me! I dont want to jump ahead of myself but I really cant wait until another week to weigh in because I am weighing myself every 2 weeks. I am really working hard at this thing.
Now that I am done on my "eating rant" I want to talk about exercise. Well I went to a local park that has a 2 1/2 mile trail and I did 1.5 miles and I actually could have done more but my lower back hurts so bad when I walk for a distance or for a certain period of time. I felt so bad because there were 2 older women (like 50 or 60 something) there and they walked faster and further than I did. It kind of hurt my ego a little. But I did it and thats all that matters. I am going to do it again tomorrow also. So again if anyone reads this, even if you dont comment on it please just pray for me and wish me the best!!!
Today is the first day of the rest of my life (hopefully) with my lifestyle change.Not that I do not have faith in myself, but I must always look at the positives vs. the negatives.I like to put everything on the table.In recent weeks I realized that I am in the fight of my life.If I do not put forth a serious effort to lose weight and keep it off.I feel as if I am going to die.The changes in my body as I continue to gain weight are just unbearable at times.Since I am a firm believer in mostly all things that are positive, I must put forth an effort to make all the negatives positive in my life.Since I feel that my excessive weight is a negative in my life, why wouldn’t I put forth serious efforts to change that?
I know others may wonder why I talk to myself as if I am Dr. Phil or something?I have to encourage myself because that’s the only way that I am going to be able to do this thing!It’s so weird because when I lost weight before, I had the most optimistic frame of mind until I stopped encouraging myself.It was not a problem for me to exercise and eat right.I have to encourage myself.Everyone should, regardless of what mountain they are facing.
When I lost weight in 2006, I used to always get up and at least go walking in the neighborhood or do WATP (Walk Away the Pounds) in home.After a while it was so easy for me to just do it.Now that I am redoing this thing, its hard as ever to get out of the bed in the morning to get that exercise in to get that metabolism going.So I wonder, what do others tell themselves when its time to get out of the bed in the morning?I couldn’t do it this morning.I just couldn’t.But there is tomorrow, and maybe just maybe I will be able to WATP literally!!But I will most definitely exercise when I get off of work tomorrow.
I am also so happy that I found an online community like extrapounds.com because everyone is so welcoming and everyone else has similar situations too.As I always say.I want to change.I am so sick of being fat!!!!!So hopefully I can keep this enthusiasm going!! Pray for me!
My plan throughout my journey is to blog daily.It’s Monday and I have to get back to work, but if you want to know more about me, feel free to watch my vlogs @ www.youtube.com/keshiatime or check out my myspace at www.myspace.com/glamoroushoodchic .
While I do think that I could have done more to reach my goals a little faster (exercising more), I am totally proud of how far I have come. This is the Fight of my Life. I refuse to be another victim. I fall sometimes, but I get back up. I will never let food control me again. I am excited to say I am down 17 lbs! Last week I fell off, TOM got the best of me but the important thing is I got right back up. For that, I am proud of myself. My energy levels are great. Oh yeah, did I say I love 
my life? LOL!
She also looks a lot older but that’s a part of the territory I guess. Also, Hell’s Kitchen is back and I love Chef Ramsey. He is hilarious. He called one guy an ignorant donkey. I was laughing so uncontrollably hard. I am totally addicted to certain reality TV shows. Does anyone know if Kid Nation is coming back on? I like that show. 
Because I must motivate myself when I get the urge to go and get some Nuggets and Lemonade from Chick-Fil-a or some pancakes from Village Inn. I have to think about my long term goals and ask myself will I be satisfied with the decision I made when it’s all over. After I have stuffed my face. NO!!! I wont. I refuse to fail this time. I can do this. I will do this!
I started at 271 (I just cant figure out how to adjust that on my tracker). So thats down an entire 16 lbs! Yay Keshia! I just had to FYI you guys in on that. I am so excited. I have been working out really hard (especially) this week. I havent been cheating (although the weekend is at hand)! Trust me I have wanted to but one of my fellow EPers gave a response to one of my blogs that really stuck with me and it helps. When I get urges, I simply ask myself:
Now admittingly I did not stay the entire service because church folks can be long winded sometimes and I was trying to get to Ybor City to Tampa Live (how contradictory right, CHURCH THEN THE CLUB?) I had a good time though. Dorinda was beautiful. A sanctified version of Beyonce.....if that works!?!?!? I also went out Friday night and that was my confirmation that I am never drinking again. I shouldnt be anyways because the cals in liquor is ridiculous, but on Fridays I am a lush. I officially hit the lowest of all lows on Friday though because I threw up all in my car after I got put out of the club for throwing up of course. It was just a bad experience and on that note I am going to keep it at home for a minute....lol!. 
