07/23/2011 14:00
ho hum
I am beyond tired. Mentally and emotionally stressed to the max, anxiety so bad my stomach is in knots. Can't eat. can't sleep. the divorce should be final in 90 days it's bad. he's all nice in front of other people he even offered me candy, opened the door, and pulled out my chair at the lawyers office but the second it was over there he started in with his mind games. the girls at work are telling me to journal everything he keeps doing. i just want it to be over. he has no idea what he's done. i'm afraid i won't be able to survive on my own but then again i remember my faith and how strong i am and wonder what i am so worried about. i just want to make sure my kids are well provided for. sigh....
Posted By: charming.mama
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07/09/2011 16:11
I DID IT!!!
I finally broke into the 150's!!! it's been a long time coming and I've finally done it!!
In the mean time, the divorce is still happening. I've been in my salon for a week now and I don't know what I was afraid of... I've done very well!
Posted By: charming.mama
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07/02/2011 13:33
So Close
I'm at 160.6 as of right now and I'm so excited about that! I weighed 168 the day I delivered my daughter. I was just going through the numbers in my head and I weighed 151 when I found out I was pregnant with her. Ten pounds to go to weigh less than I have through out my now failed marriage.
I start work at my new salon today. I'm really excited and scared at the same time. I know I have the talent to do well but it's a commission based salon and right now I don't have that big of a steady clientele to pull from. It is in a high foot traffic area and gets lots of walk-in so there's lots of potential there. So far I know I'll get along with 2 of the 3 girls there that I know. I'm not sure about the last one, she seems short, semi-unfriendly, and maybe a little judgmental. But then again that's based on a first impression of her. Maybe when I have had a chance to get to know her a little better we could be friends. Maybe she's just as nervous as me about new people in her salon.
I've been doing some studying on chakras to try and holistically help heal my mind, body, and soul. What I've learned so far is this: there are over 80K chakras in the human body, they are basically energy centers. There are 7 main chakras and each has a specific name and color assigned to it and each is responsible for certain aspects of our lives, like our self-esteem, personal power (confidence), ability to speak our minds, even our connection with our Heavenly Father. When all your chakras are aligned and strong a person has a great connection with God, appears very self confidant, and has life's abundance gravitating towards them and that's where I want to be. I don't want to keep allowing people to hurt me and take advantage of me. I want to be self confidant, self reliable, able to say what's on my mind without having to wonder if what I have to say is going to be received by others. Most importantly I'm tired of not being enough, doing enough, or having enough.
I know it's going to take time for me to heal mentally and emotionally from all the recent drama in my house including the divorce process that isn't even started yet. I'm going to do my best to stay positive and be a positive force for my kids and the people around me.
Posted By: charming.mama
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06/29/2011 03:41
It's Me Again
I know it seems like i only post every 9 month or so (and I do) but i've been checking up on all my friends here.
How very apt the name "life and times". So much has gone on since I last posted. very long drawn out story short, new job - quit (went in the whole as a private contractor - stylist), new job - got fired (timeshare that says it all), new job - still there (lifeguard - who'da thunk it at nearly 30 I'd be running around kinda like a less glorified baywatch) and adding another job - starting July 2nd at a new to me salon.
Lots of drama and i'll leave it at that. Soon to be a single mom. Really scared about that but my immediate family won't let me or my kids be on the street or go hungry so it's just a matter of figuring out how i'm gonna keep my head above water. I was re-diagnosed with depression and now added anxiety to the mix. Going to counceling again trying to keep my head strait and deal with all the stress and such in my life. I've started researching chakras (more than I already knew) as a holistic way of trying to assist in my healing, mind, body and soul.
However, I have finally gotten below 170 and I haven't been below that since before my daughter was born (she turns 7 in about 2 weeks).
Gonna try to get "back on the band wagon" so to speak and be here more often and not just lurking and watching all my friends. With all that's going on i'm thankful for my friends cause all of you here and everywhere else are what's keeping me sane right about now.
God bless you all!!
Posted By: charming.mama
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01/23/2010 23:29
It's too much
A lot has changed since the last time I was here. Still no house of our own. My brother and his family were evicted from their appartment (major drama there) and are now living with my parents. (This is all superficial stuff with no in depth emotion). I'm learning to study the bible. I've always had spirituality and faith but not ever had the bible knowledge to back it up. Oh, sure, I know the stories of the bible but that's nothing compaired to the way I'm begining to understand it now. I'm happy and thankful that I am finally having a personal relatioship with my heavenly father that is on such a higher level than I ever had before. I've lost another 5 inches off my body (waist and hips) than my previous logging of my measurements.
I was recently diagnosed with depression and am now on medication and going to counceling. My husband has been very supportive of me in dealing with my depression. He finally understands my point of view (and I his). He's become a lot more tender and compassionate. I have to constantly work on my self confidance and self esteem. And my personal image and body image, all of which are a major source of pain for me. It's hard for me to accept a compliment and not see a fat ugly person in the mirror. Tell me, how do you heal a past hurt so that it can't affect your future life? How do I get past being so mistreated in my teenage years? Those are some of the most important years of a persons life. Everything around you influences you especailly your peers. How do I move on and not have everything said to me bring up a horrible memory from that time in my life?
Posted By: charming.mama
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07/07/2009 15:58
Y'all have to see this!!
First and foremost, i kn ow it's been a long time....my family keeps me busy. Since I was last here a lot has happened. I BROKE THE 25LB BARRIER!!!!
Business wise: we are having a new Hair Show open to everyone not just stylists in September. I'm super excited about it!! I've beenn doing a lot of the ground work for it, like theme logistics, planning, marketing, and who can forget social networking....(check me out on Facebook, Twitter, Flicker, MySpace, and YouTube. Not to mention telemarketing to local salons to get the word out. I'm hoping to be able to post flyers soon.
That's just the first thing.... we are launching a new "at home" product called "Cut-a-Bob". It's a haircutting template, curved scissor and instructional illustrations. We are marketing to, well, everyone...moms, dads, grandparents... and the best part is QVC may pick us up...it's simple, easy, fast, and can save parents a lot of money with the way the economy is right now...
Here's the links:
this is the linkk to the "Fox Vodeo" the news company did on my families business...
Let me know what you think of the videos and if you will, please post on YouTube and rate the videos.
I am also now a freelance instructor for the color company we've been associatedd with for the last few years and I taught my first class a couple of weeks ago. They want me to come to NY to have more training on their keratin treatment...I have done a few with great results so they want me to teach it now... I'm game!!
Carolyn turns 5 in 2 weeks, she still is obliviace to when her birthday is. Luc is climbing out of his crib to nap in his sissy's bed so were gonna get rid of the crib and put him in a "big boy bed". Gotta get trundle drawers for the kids' clothes and sheets and stuff for the new bed... I think it'sll be ok.. I guess we'll see.
Posted By: charming.mama
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04/23/2009 03:11
I finally did it
Ok so I finally did a lot of things. I started the P90X system with my hubby a couple of days ago. He's doing it with me to help keep me motivated. We're gonna do the first 30 the lean version, then classic, then depending on how that goes we're gonna try the doubles version. I am so proud of myself. Even though we only made it through the first 35 or so of the days workout I kicked butt!! My hubby had a harder time trying to do the exercises than I did!! OMG!! I never thought that would happen. I wasn't even as super sore as I thought I was going to be (I still hurt, just not as bad as I thought I would).
I cleaned out a few entries in my blog, stuff from last year.
ok sorry gotta go whiney kids that's my que to get them ready for bed. I'll be back later.
Posted By: charming.mama
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