The Journey

My journey from flab to fab with all the starving details.

My Profile

  • Name: Alex
  • City: Emeryville
  • Region: California
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 167.6cm
Start weight: 162.00lb
Current weight: 149.00lb
Goal weight: 136.00lb
Lost to date: 13.00lb
Remaining: 13.00lb

My Calendar

May '15
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My Photos

Before After

Back on Track

Well I have taken the last 2 weeks off of Jenny and while eating food that I cook has been great I have learned that I am not ready for that transition yet so I am going back on plan today. The great thing is that my counselor has been wonderful in letting me experiement and being supportive of it while not cramming program down my throat. I am just not at the point where I am ready to shift gears and there is something comforting about not having to think so much about it - if that makes any sense whatsoever. So back on I go - starting today. Good news is that I did not gain anything while off - did not loose but I did maintain. I just decided that I want to go the distance - NOW!!! lol

Day 16: Nurturing power of food

Well I am back to the daily lessons. I am back on track. I am also changing my workouts from morning to evening as I am an evening eater and need to change my schedule so that I am busier at night. This is the first day and I will be going to the gym right after work so that I can try to combat the night munchies after dinner type thing.
- Intentionally eat something that will help you feel better. Soak up thepleasure from a delicious piece of chocolate. Allow yourself the comfort of eating your favorite ice cream or a lucious cinnamon roll. Eliminate any thoughts of guilt or remorse as you eat this food.
I made dark chocolate souffles the other day so I will eat a serving of that today - yummy - heated up they are so rich and gooey - like a flourless chocolate cake.
- After two bites, stop! Remind yourself that your needs have been met and eating more of the food won't increase your healing level. Then give away or toss whatever food is left.
Did not see that coming - yikes - I'll give it a try - so sad for the souffle, but a lesson that I really, really need to learn.
- Write about how you felt doing this exercise. Also, notice what level of satisfaction you experienced as you ate the first two bites of the food.
Will blog about this later. I hate to throw out food but now that I need to learn how because it is a better alternative then using my body as the proverbial garbage can.
Have a great day everyone - Alex

My birthday!!

Well - I fell off the wagon for the last two days - so much stress = lots of eating. I am also trying a week on my own doing my own thing with food. After 6 weeks on Jenny Craig I needed to cook (I love to cook and eating boxed meals all the time gets really hard). Then on Monday the dreaded word was used at work - Layoffs - not a definate but if the state keeps cutting funding looks like it may happen - may is the operative word. Then it's my birthday today and I found white hairs yesterday - not a hair but hairs. That put me over the edge.
Well today is my birthday - 32 - so my gift to myself is to start to treat myself right. This body is the only one I got and I want it to last - I also want to be proud of it. So healthy living from now on. I am using which is awesome - love it and I am continuing to meet with my JC consultant as I start to cook and portion out food. Here's to looking forward and not back and forgiving myself.


Well I have been remiss and I have to say that I notice a difference in my attitude about food when I take the time to log on and blog daily and read the blogs of others that are doing the same thing. Imagine that.....
So starting today I commit to blogging every day and reading the blogs of others. A small amount of time to carve out in the morning but with such great affects. I am also starting back with the 100 days of weight loss as I fell of the wagon with that too. The diet for the most part has been doing well. I got my calories increased due to the amount that I am running and have felt a huge difference with some more food - wow - i was shocked.
On to todays "lesson": Day 15 - First 2 Bites
- Choose one of your favorite foods such as carrot cake, and then focus on all the details and tastes of the first two bites. Let yourself appreciate the flavors.
I am going to dinner at the most amazing restaurant on Thursday - one of the tops in the Bay Area - and I am going to try this for one of the fab desserts - just two bites - yum.
- After the first two bites, stope ating and get rid of the rest of the food. In your notebook, write down the details about this experience.
Will follow-up in Friday's blog.
- With each food you eat today, pay close attention to the first two bites. Notice how they taste in comparison to the rest of the food.
I am looking forward to trying this technique and to making it part of my routine. I think that this reading has a lot of credibility. The first 2 bites are always the best - after that it is either food or filler.
Have a great day everyone - Alex

Yipee for Friday!

I am so excited that the weekend is here. Not for anything special but because everything and everyone that could go crazy at work this week did -what a week - oy vey.
Anyhoo I weigh tomorrow and feel that I maintained or lost a slight bit - either way I am happy with it. It was a rough week food wise but I did get all my exercise in which is so important.
Just a quick check in this morning - Alex

This Crazy Week

Well this week has been insane. I have managed to get all of my workouts in but the eating has been hit or miss. Still according to the scale I am doing okay. I need to get back on track with the "100 days of weight loss" mini assignments and daily readings so I will start back with those tomorrow. I must say that for a short week this has felt incredibly long and I am looking forward to the weekend. I work with youth and sometimes feel like I have been taking care of all 44 of them in my program in the same day - exhausting!!!!
So I bit the bullet yesterday and put on the bikini - I have to say that I was pleasently surprised. I am still bigger then I would like but I looked solid and not mushy. I took pics (front, back, side) and am going to print them off and stick them on my fridge for motivation. One thing I noticed though in the pictures is that my abs are getting definition - hallelulah for working out. Yipee!!!!!
I am going to take photos every month and get a progression which will be exciting. I really want to wear my swimsuit this month and not be self-conscious and with only 16 more pounds to loose I think that that is a totally attainable goal.
Here's to meeting it -

Day 14: Morning affects evening

- Set a goal of eating breakfast every day for the next week. In your notebook, record what you ate.
This one is easy as I never skip breakfast - and I generally always eat a healthy breakfast - it is the after dinner time that does me in.
- If you wish, you can split your breakfast into 2 mini-meals and eat the second one mid-morning.
Nope - don't do this but I do have a non-fat yogurt for mid-morning snack.
- Plan a couple of options for late-afternoon snacks. List them in your notebook so you'll remember your ideas.
I always have a serving of fruit for afternoon snack. It seems to tide me over until dinner. If I am extra hungry when I get home I place a bowl of baby carrots on the counter to nibble on when I am preparing dinner.

Day 13 and Putting the Binge Monster in his place

For some reasons Saturday is the day that I fall to the binge monster. I do well all day and then on Saturday night I loose it. I think it may have something to do with my breakup about a month ago, it may have something to do with being bored, I am not really sure but I know that it has to end. I am not going to be able to maintain my weight loss when all is said and done if I am not able to get a hold of the binge monster. I need to put him in its place and break up with him too. I don't want to fall for the binge monster anymore as he makes me feel like crap - after the binge and the next morning today. Binge Monster - I don't want you in my life anymore, please go away or I will be forced to get a restraining order against you. I only want to do things and put things in my body that make me feel good and your brand of coping just does not make me feel good about myself. Please go away because I do not want to see you anymore.
Okay enough of that - on to the daily assignment piece of my blog. Today it is "Oops, I forgot to eat." I really don't think that this has ever been my problem to tell the truth. I have never forgotten to eat - but I do eat way to much when I eat. That is the skill that I need to develop - portion control and the ability to tell the difference between true hunger and emotional cues.
- Write down the times of the day when you plan to eat your meals and snacks.
Well this is easy as I allready have a routine. Breakfast - 7am; Snack - 9:30am; Lunch - between 12pm and 1pm; Snack - 3pm; Dinner - 6pm; Snack 8pm
- Make an effort to eat within 30 minutes of these scheduled times. At the end of the day, review your eating patterns to see how well you did.
This I can do!
- If you tend to skip meals or forget to eat, set an alarm to remind yourself when it's time for fuel.
This is so not an issue for me. I always make the time to eat on a schedule cause I am hypoglycemic. I need to learn how to stop the emo binging though. Any helpful suggestions would be great.
Happy Sunday - Alex

Day 12: Fuel or filler

Well this days reading was timely. Three weeks ago I was shoving so much junk in my body that I was sluggish and tired. Now I feel so full of energy (most days). I have also noticed that I am more in tune with my body and how it feels - I think that I may be starting to distinguish true hunger from emotional eating triggers and boredom eating, etc. My body seems to be starting to regulate and get back in touch with its natural rythyms. This is a major event for me as een when I dieted in the past I did so without awareness as I was not approaching it with the mindset of changing my lifestyle. This time just feels different - like it is all clicking and the hard work is paying off. With that being said I weigh in tomorrow morning and will be happy if I just maintain as I did a lot of emotional eating last weekend. Got back on track Monday though and did a lot of reflection on teh reasons behind the binges and learned from it for the first time so the way I look at it it is all a part of the journey and as long as I start to learn and work on the reasons why I am gaining mindfulness which I think is the first step towards a healthy realationship with food.
- Record each of the foods that you eat today, then rate each one based on whether it provides fuel or filler.
Well this is easy as I am on JC so I would have to say that they all provide fuel except perhaps for the evening snack with may be more of a filler food - but yummy.
- At the end of the day, determine how well your fuel needs were met.
- Decide whether you need to replace some filler items with healthy foods that provide more fuel.
I think that when I am transitioning off JC to home cooking again that I will revisit the lessons in this section and do them again as it is a good reflection exercise but cannot really put into proctice until I am eating on my own again so good knowledge but will try the actions in the future.
Happy Friday - Alex

Day 11: Two purposes of food

Well this reading really hit home. I do not always eat for the purpose of fueling my body or enjoying flavors. My emotional binge eating is most often tasteless due to the rapidity with which I am stuffing my face in an effort to temporarilt feel better before I know that I will feel worse. I like the idea of always keeping in mind that I am either eating for fuel or eating to enjoy a flavor. For now I am focusing on eating for fuel which JC is really helping with as my idea that I need more food or I may just pass out is so wrong. The portion control is such an eye opening lesson that I am currently learing. My internal portion checker is soooo out of whack but it is getting fixed. I even turned down birthday cake at work (chocolate, chocolate) yesterday and ate a peach while everyone else ate cake. OMG - it smelt so good too but I knew that if I ate it I would not feel good about myself later and it would kick off hard core sugar cravings - so proud of myself and the choices that I made there.
- Each time you eat something, write down the time that you ate it. Include all of your meals as well as snacks and nibbles. At the end of the daym count the number of times you took in fuel.
This I allready do on my JC menu. I currently eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day and I try to maintain an eating schedule of every three hours so that I do not get too hungry as that is when I am triggered into a binge sometimes.
- Plan ways to space your fuel stops between three to four hours apart.
This I have been doing - it just takes a bit of pre-planning and I pack things that are more portable on days that I know I am going to be on the road a lot.
- Notice whether having regular fuel stops during the day improves your energy and your focus.
You know I think that it really does. I am eating less calories now then before JC (of course) yet for the most part I feel more satisfied and energetic. I think that where I ws eating more before my choices were not the healthiest and there was a lot of foods that just do not provide lasting energy.
Well here's to learning healthier habits day by day - Alex