I am 26 years old.  From the time I was a freshman in high school I have struggled with my weight.  Up and down and up and down and up again.  I remember that I was a junior in high school when I stepped on a scale and the number read 201.  My heart started racing and I had a huge lump in my throat.  I was devistated.  I knew that I had been gaining weight but never did I think that I had hit the 200 lbs mark.  I was in shock.  Not very long after that I saw a picture of myself with some of my classmates, I was the biggest girl in the photo.  Again, I was in shock.  It was on my mind constantly.  Early on in high school I had been very popular, had tons of friends and was even a cheerleader.  I was thin then but as time went on I gained weight.  We all know that high school can be cruel and as the weight packed on the popularity faded and the friends became fewer.  I remember it all came together at once.  I was so depressed.  I was the fat girl!  And what was worse is that I had not realized it until those moments. 

I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know how to eat.  My family ate crap and lots of it.  I bought a composition notebook and began documenting everything I ate, along with the calories, fat grams and carbs.  I realized I was eating alot of fat grams.  I immediately cut out almost all fat.  I took my daily fat intake down to less than 5 grams.  I lost 5 lbs and I was not happy.  I had thought that it would just go away.  It didn't. 

I mentioned to our neighbor that I wanted to loose weight, she suggested walking in the evenings.  The next day we started walking close to 5 miles each evening, about 5 times per week.  In a short amount of time I lost about 15 more pounds.  I was down to 180, better but not where I wanted to be. 

Over the next year or so I got down to 170 lbs.  I graduated high school and enlisted in the military.  Through boot camp I managed to get down to 160 and I was very happy with that weight.  After boot camp I shot straight back to 170 where I stayed for quite awhile. 

A year or so later I was living in Florida, beaches and bikinis everywhere.  I tightened my diet and started walking every night again.  I got down the lowest weight I have been at in my adult life...155.  I was so happy with that weight.  I was wearing a juniors size 7 and it felt great.  In that same year I got married, I was the ripe old age of 21.  I was able to stay between 155 and 160 for about one year but after that I was back to 170. 

I stayed at 170 for a few more years.  Then at 24 my husband and I slip and I dropped back to 160 but I didn't feel good about myself.  This time at 160 I was gaunt, thin and flat chested and felt awful about myself.  I ran right out and bought some boobs!  Yes, I got a breast augmentation, I know how some people may feel about that but I have to say...I felt great about my new and improved body.  Over time my habits took me back to 170.

Time passed and I started dating someone new.  He had so many different habits than I did.  He ate out at resturants 5 or more times per week, something I did not do.  I probably ate out 10 times per year up until then!  We became more and more serious over time, we moved in together and I continued to pack on the pounds.  I stopped working out as much, ate out constantly, ate more and more sweets (he has a sweet tooth!!) which brought me to a few weeks ago, weighing in at 198. 

When I saw that number, almost back to 200, I felt the same way I did in high school, devistated!  I want a different future.  I want to be a healthy 150 and stay there.  I don't want to go up and down.  I want to form new habits that keep me there.

On April 1st I decided to start a new work out, I started Crossfit.  I got my butt kicked.  The first few workouts I felt like my lungs were on fire, I was sweating out gallons, my entire body was so sore.  I started to tighten down my diet.  I ate well for about 2 weeks, started drinking as much water as I could get down.  So as of April 14, 2009 I am down to 188.  I am continuing to go to crossfit at least 3 days per week and most days I feel like I am getting into better shape.

I want a different future than my past so I need to change my present and all of the bad habits I have formed.  I am 26 and this is my new beginning and I can't wait to be 150!