Happy Fool's Day!

Well after my big buffoon Sunday, I have to say this is a fitting day.  I don't EVEN know why I'm posting this Sunday my daughter, Jamie and I decided it would be fun to share the invitation writing with Grama so we got everything in the car and when I backed out of the driveway I didn't see her little blue bug and scraped the side of it  - UGH!!  So that wasn't enough.  We got to Gramma's  and as Jamie wrote the addresses I stuffed the envelopes and put on the stamps.  Because the return address was on the back flap, I must have gotten twisted around and put all the special order stamps on the left side -   I was soooooo mad at myself!!!  What was I thinking?!%!@  Jamie wasn't upset but it triggered some old inferiorities in me and when I got home I just couldn't rise above it.  Total emotional mess!!  At 2:00 am, the Lord put the idea in my head that I might be able to take them off with a razor. So I got up and by 2:30 I had all the stamps off and on the correct side!!  Thank you Jesus!!  The cool thing is that I had just listened to a sermon on the raising of Lazarus from John 11 and the Lord revealed to me the similarities between my disaster (Lazarus's death), my devastation & upheavaled emotions (Martha & Mary's weeping), and His compassionate deliverance (Lazarus' resurrection).  And my SWEET relieve!!  I know I sound like I'm over reacting (and I am) but I have a lot piled on my shoulders right now and that was just over the top!!  But He's faithful!! Yea, God!!

Joel 2:25

I love Sunday's. They are always a great day to re-start & re-charge - especially the first Sunday of a new month.

I'll be working with my daughter addressing her wedding invitations today.  We went to Billings yesterday for her final fitting and picked up her dress, the flower girl dresses and the bridesmaid dress.

Her colors are pink, black and silver which is so her.  Pink for her desirous innocence and black for her bold independence (the silver is to satisfy her fiancée, Darin) I say her desirous innocence because her real innocence was lost to the drug world for about 6 years.  But we have her back - healthy and strong.  You can understand why this wedding is incredibly fun and such a joy for me.  It is a God thing!!  He is giving us a do-over, giving us all those lost years back.  Just like His word says in Joel 2:25 & 26 "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, . . . and ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed."  Metaphorically we are eating and drinking in plenty and we are satisfied, and praising His name!! 

Excuses are simply ways to lesson momentary anxiety so we can overeat!

What a great time I had this morning in my Loose It For Life Workbook.  I learned that when I get a notion to eat something that I don't need, it creates a momentary anxiety in me and I start to make excuses to eat.  If I give in and eat then it relieves momentarily those anxious feelings I was having. 

Therefore "Excuses are simply ways we lesson momentary anxiety so we can overeat." 

I learned to take responsibility for my eating and stop making excuses.  I also learned to surrender to what God wants me to eat and stop fighting it.  Like Jonah - he fought it and his life became miserable.  Can you imagine if he would have just given in to God's will to begin with.  He may have gone to Nineveh grumbling and complaining but look at the disaster for himself (and others) that would have been avoided.  What a mess we get ourselves into when we don't just surrender to Him. 

And this morning I was fighting the urge for a muffin when I knew good and well that it was not God's plan for me so I said, "Lord, I'm not going to fight you over this, I just give in."  And it was sooo much nicer than to just keep on fighting!!   Or to come up with some excuse so I could overeat. 

God is changing my thinking.  Praise Him!!

Getting Real

Thank you for all the tremendous comments and encouragements to my last post!!  Man-oh-man, you sure make me feel good!  I'm so ready to GET REAL and get that scale going down! 

I've learned that what I thought I was doing is a far cry from what I am in actuality getting done.  And this is quite a shock to me - haha!!  It is simply amazing how I could fool myself so completely.  Honestly, I'm just stunned!!  LOL  I had myself so fooled that it's truly humorous.

So now that I've been made aware, the next step is to - STEP IT UP!  And I'm ready!  I'm not a highly competitive person, and in fact (although it may seem quite pathetic to some of you who do have a naturally competitive nature), I used to cheat to loose at Monopoly when I was young because my best friend wanted to win sooo bad.  And I just wanted her to have that thrill.  Now that I think about it, that may be enlightening to a hard-core competitor, in that some of the games they've been proud of winning might have been thrown by a compassionate friend who simply wanted them to be pleased with themselves.  - Who knows!  Now, that is funny!!   All that to say - That if I'm expected to perform and I'm given the chance to be responsible I actually do very well and therefore I'm seriously looking forward to this new challenge.

Looking back is fascinating!  This has been fun, sad, expectant, disappointing, frustrating, exhilarating and entertaining.  Here's to what lies ahead for all of us - CHEERS!!

Gettin' Out of the 60's

March is almost over and I didn't get to my goal as planned.  But that doesn't mean I'm giving up or even coming close to giving up.  It only means that I stretch it out a little.  Instead of getting out of the 60's in Feb and Mar it will now take part of April, too.  I'm not thrilled about it but that's ok.  This is a process and I am 'processing' a little slower (like a crock pot instead of a microwave).  I stumbled around in March loosing my focus the first 2 weeks, getting back on track the 3rd week and then zoning out again over Easter. 

Thanks to all your posts and the challange I have a refreshed resolve and am looking forward to seeing the next drop on the scale.  I'm adding to my plan some mental exercises that should help with my focus and resolve.  My first pdf is called "Thinking Like A Winner While Losing".  It's found on the New LIfe Ministries Webpage under the Loose It For Life Workbook exercises if you're interested. 

I'm doing great today with my eating and water and my plan for exercise this evening (I have a dentist appt at my treadmill time so I'll just push it forward a couple hours to 6:30 or 7:00)

Ask, Seek, Knock

Back on track!  Yea!!

I just don't understand (& am asking God to explain) what happens that throws me off track.  Why on some days do I love eating healthy and feeling good about self improvement through Jesus and other days it's all to the wind.  On the off days, I can truthfully say (and I know it's good to be completely truthful w/myself) that I do hear God's still small voice telling me - this portion is too big or you don't have to eat that - but I easily put it aside and serve my indulgences.  What I'm seeking to understand is what makes me desire and enjoy health and obediance one day and not another.  I'd really like to hear what you have to say about the forces being from within or from without:

1. James 1:15  "then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
2. Eph 6:12  "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

What do you think?  What is the controlling factor? 

Mat 7:7 NIV - "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Darn that Bunko!!

The food was good and I over did it!  Didn't do what I know to do- just caved!  Phooey!!  But today I'm back on target and eating within my limits as well as a good walk on the teadmill.  After I do a little more reading I'll do my isometrics for my tummy.  And go at it again tomorrow . . .

Happy Saint Patty's Day!!

To all who will be wearin' the Green today - Happy St. Patty's Day!!

I have Bunko tonight so just remember me in your prayers that I surrender to God my portions, and my appetites for over indulgence.  His way is always more satisfying and longer lasting.  I know this, now I need to work this!!  I make myself angry that I can know it in my head and my harloty heart protitutes me - ugh!  God help me!  ( I know these things: not my will but His; He must increase and I must decrease; Feed the new dog, starve the old dog; To die is to live; Let go and let God; Walk in the Spirit; etc.) 

Praise God for Jesus and His sacrifice for the forgiveness of my knowingly committed sins- Darn this flesh!!  And praise Him that He is failthful and that it is His faith I stand on, not mine!!

Halleluiah

Happy Palm Sunday!!  Let us join the chorus of Halleluiah's as we celebrate Christ's triumphant entry! Remember: With these current bodies that "It's Friday, But Sunday's a Commin'" !!

What I learned today

Today I learned two things:

1. A change in my emotional response to walking away from food.  Instead of walking away grieving, I will remember that by surrendering my hold on food, all that I loose is the destruction that goes with it.  Now I'll be walking away pleased that I saved my heart from a stroke!
2. God is not going to magically change me by "zapping" me. He doesn't routinely take away my desire for certain foods. Instantaneous, once-for-all life change is a pipe dream, not reality.  This is a process of letting go, walking away over and over and over. This is a process of adding exercise again and again and again until my desire for health because of God, is bigger than my desire for certain unhealthy foods.  It is a process facilitated only with the help of God and the people He has put in my life to help me get there.

Thanks for being one of those people!!!  I thank God for you today and pray He helps you as He helps me.  We're in this together.