Some days you are the windshield, some days you are the bug

Did I mention I hate camping?

And snakes?

Part of the first part of my course – yes, this was just the first ten hours – was identifying dangerous snakes.  So the nice woman says – how do you know when to leave a snake alone?  She gets all kinds of clever answers like if it has a rattle (duh), if it has a pointed head, if it has touching red and yellow bands.  Then she asks me and I reply “It’s a snake.  Leave it alone.  It has a right to privacy.”  She laughs and assures me the snake is more afraid of me than I am of him.  I tell her she is underestimating my fear.

For lunch we had delicious beef macaroni cooked in a dutch oven.  This was a huge change from my normal lunch of Special K or fruit or turkey and cheese.  I had fruit with me and pulled it out to compliment my beef macaroni. 

Next we learned how to sharpen a knife.  So we can teach our girls how to sharpen a knife.  Something which is unlikely to be necessary at a camp where we will be for 24 hours that is 30 minutes away from the nearest WalMart.  First there was a sandstone which I dutifully used.  Then there was this fish shaped thing  that you put over your knuckles and struck down on.  To which I say – that just looks like a bad idea.  In fact, while looking for the product online to show you guys, I couldn’t find one, but I found something similar enough to convince myself they may have actually been showing us the wrong way.  Picture that thing turned the other way with the blue band over your knuckles and then putting the knife blade toward your knuckles and pulling it down and away.  BAD PLAN right?  They said what they had they got at WalMart so I am going to go take a look, then I am going to ask the person in charge of adult education who I happen to know and like. 

I came home exhausted and smelling of charcoal.  So, we went to get Subway for dinner and then go grocery shopping.  That was the plan at least.  Monkey was very cuddly.  I assumed because he missed me.  When we were in line at Subway, Monkey (who had not yet got the stomach virus) showed us that he had the stomach virus.  Um, thanks, sorry, never mind about the sandwiches.  I get Monkey all cleaned up and into the car and standing in the parking lot – this is how gross it was – I take off my shirt.  Hubby and the car of old women parked next to us are both just staring at me.  Honestly, I considered taking it off in the Subway, so I think they should all be grateful I waited until I was stepping into the car.  I am a relatively modest person, people, this was GROSS and there was no way I was riding home like that. 

And still it is a hard call what the roughest most embarrassing part of my day was….

I hate that saying

about a thing being more afraid of you than you are of it.  That's exactly what makes snakes dangerous!  If they weren't afraid of you they would have no reason to bite you, since nothing short of an extremely large python is going to want you for food.  And ten hours of anything is torture.

As a lover of camping, I can tell you that Girl Scout trips did nothing to enhance my enjoyment of the outdoors.  And you're right to check on the knife-sharpening technique.  Sometimes in volunteer organizations you end up with the blind leading the blind.  When I was in girl scouts we were all relieved when my dad took over as leader.  Not that a woman can't be good at camping (we can!), but our leaders were not, and they obviously lacked patience and did not enjoy it the way he (and we) did.  He was a pretty good teacher when we were doing sewing projects too.   I guess the point of this rant is that I feel your pain, and that if at all possible you should try to conceal that pain when you are leading a troop of impressionable girls into the wilderness, or whatever approximation of wilderness exists 30 minutes away from Wal-Mart.  They will love you whether you like camping or not, but they will also take their cues on whether camping is cool from you.

I'm sorry that Monkey ended the Subway trip so suddenly and messily.  I would have had that shirt off in the Subway and been demanding use of the facilities and a free Subway tee if they wanted me to cover up.  I hope life is improving since then.

ok...your day...WEEKEND...

was nothing more than sucky! I use to work with snakes...and they are still scary to me. I was in the front flower bed a few summers ago watering and "thought" I had killed a snake with a stick...it was gone when I finally got DH to go look. He made fun of me...but I can't stand them. I got bite in the thigh by a ball python...not poisonous...but it still hurt. As for the knife sharpener...um...I would check into that. Last thing you want to be is 10 minutes away from a hospital and sliced your palm open while sharpening your DULL knife!

As for the shirt...like it isn't something that they hadn't ever seen before. Maybe you should have asked THEM for a ride home with your smelly, gross shirt on!!!! lol ;) I hope Monkey is doing better today.

OH, before I forget...that is mean to stop at the best part! I hate shows like that!!!! LOL

Hope Monkey feels better soon!

Have a good week!

Camping memories

Your comment about camping 30 minutes away from walmart was hilarious, and reminded me of an experience I had in Girl Scouts.  This must have been fifth or sixth grade (and I won's say how long ago that was!)  We were going camping, and one word to describe weather in rural northern Michigan is "unreliable".  The weather was horrific on our camping weekend, with pounding cold rain and misery.  So the leader took us to her house and we all slept in her living room, and made smores in the microwave.    It was like a big slumber party!

I miss camping.  I was the campfire queen...definitely I had a pyro streak!  I'd really  like to get back into it (camping I mean, not burning things).