Day 12

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.  That was what was (and still is) running through my brain just now after weighing myself and hitting 11st.  Only 1/4 lb to go to target before NEXT Saturday.  And I'm also 1/4 of the way through my weight loss as a whole (though I must bear in mind that I will put on in Paris).  I've also lost 10" all over.  Quite a milestone day all in all.

Last night had been the hardest night so far.  Not being able to drink alcohol, I was watching a film where someone poured a glass of wine and that was it, I was in tears - tantrum tears.  But it was clearly worth sticking it out, because in the past 11 days I have lost just over half a stone, and that's something to be very proud of.

Day 10

I don't like to be crass, but I'm rather excited today because I had my first bowel movement in a week.  Excited is perhaps not the correct adjective.  Relieved.  No pun intended.

After the blip the other day, I decided I wasn't going to weigh myself again until Saturday morning.  And I'll try not to pay too much attention to what it says - I know I look H.O.T. in the outfit I'm wearing today, and it's been a while since I felt that.

EuroDiet were very encouraging and understanding about my weekend in Paris - basically along the lines of "it's your wedding anniversary, you'll be in Paris, ENJOY YOURSELF and kick-start your diet again when you get back".  Which is sound advice really, and exactly what I'm going to do.  I'm so looking forward to that bottle of wine, and a huge steak of swordfish.

I passed another test today.  My job is really rather cosy, and today's perk was for my small department to take over the board room and have an Indian takeaway lunch - curry, naan, the works.  So, considering Indian is my favourite food, how good am I to have sat there with a Vanilla shake?  That's the kind of willpower I just can't seem to display with normal dieting, it's the kind of willpower that comes with eschewing all regular food entirely, so as not to be tempted by the bad stuff.

Day 8

DISHEARTENED.  This is the watchword for the day.  After the elation of Saturday morning's weigh-in, and knowing I had religiously stuck to the diet through thick and thin, and even walked miles and miles, imagine my dismay at weighing myself yesterday evening to find that I'd PUT BACK ON 1 1/2 lbs.  I LITERALLY don't understand how, or where it has come from.  I'm trying to remind myself that weighing on a Monday evening is different from weighing on a Saturday morning, but still, I could have lost that measley 2 1/4 lbs just by having started and finished my period in that week.

The EuroDiet nutrition expert said not to worry, that if I've stuck to the diet I'd be in ketosis.  Well I KNOW I have, so why the gain?

Day 6

Yesterday was my first real test in more than one way.  Weekends usually revolve around 2 bottles of wine and a huge packet of crisps each day, along with meals and not a lot of exercise.  It's because I used to do so little that I just sat around thinking about or, more often than not, eating food and drinking wine.  That boredom, the hands and brain wondering what they can do.  I'd had a wobble on Friday afternoon - a half-day at home spent thinking about how lovely it would be to have a bottle of wine.  I didn't give in, but I had a good cry.

Then, in the evening, I went to a friend's house party.  I took Evian and a can of Coke Zero.  All around me people drank booze and ate lovely nibbles.  My senses were heightened.  I could smell ALL the different alcohols in the room, I could smell every sweet, every crisp, every canape.  I hovered, eyes closed, with my nose over someone's sherry glass, because it made me believe for one brief moment that it was mine.  It was tough, but I stuck it out for 3 hours before giving in and going home.

As a result?  Well I'm pretty proud of myself actually.  Every temptation was put in my path and I batted them all away.  I proved to myself that I have a hidden strength and willpower, and it has made me believe more than ever that I can do this and reach my goal weights.

And speaking of which, perhaps a little foolishly, I weighed myself yesterday morning, just after 4 days of dieting.  Hey presto - 4lbs have disappeared!  And, to top things off, today I measured myself and lost 7 inches in total.  At this rate, I should more than meet my 'weekend in Paris' goal of 7lbs by 11th August.

Day 4

This diet is worryingly easy.  Am I doing it right?  I don't even feel peckish in the evenings anymore.  Of course, it may not be so simple when I have a half day today, and will have to fill the expanse of approximately 8 hours without reaching for crisps or wine.  I walked past Lucky Wines yesterday, and stared in yearningly.  (I can categorically state that the wines stocked in Lucky Wines are not, in fact, lucky.  Neither are they unlucky, but they're still not lucky.)

Anyway, if ketosis has started today, I must have bad breath.  Ew.

Day 3

I never knew you could make such a delicious provencale omelette out of powder.  I'm finding my meals surprisingly tasty, and, whether it's the food or sheer willpower, I'm finding not snacking after dinner a doddle.  I've suffered a couple of cravings, but only for the taste, not for the food itself.

I haven't tried weighing myself yet, not until the brunt of my period is over.  But I'm pretty sure I've started to notice the difference around my waist.  But that might just be the skirt I'm wearing.

All in all I'm pretty happy so far, but, as we know, ketosis will start tomorrow.  BAD BREATH!

john cravings

I know it is normal, but I WANT BOOZE, I WANT PIZZA, I WANT ICE CREAM.

DAY 2

So Day 1 went well.  After some evening exercise I was rather tired and had no energy.  But otherwise I found it OK. 

Breakfast = apple & raisin bar at my desk.  Yum, and very filling.

Lunch = leek & potato soup.  Without a whisk at work this came out lumpy and disgusting.  I'm buying implements to stop this happening again, but on this occasion I had about 3 mouthfuls.  And yet still I felt full an hour afterwards - I think it's because, for the first time ever, I got through my 2 litres of water at work.

Dinner = a dodgy-looking potato puree with roasted green pepper, mushroom, shallot and rosemary.  It was REALLY nice.  Such a shame they've run out of the potato puree for my next order.

Today I have had a chocolate shake for breakfast (yum) and an asparagus soup for lunch.  Asparagus tastes of nothing anyway, so I spiced it up with some black pepper.

Despite it being the first day of The Period, I am feeling surprisingly good.  A bit tired and a little headachey, but at least I'm not craving chocolate and feeling the size of a house.

DAY 1

Last night I sat myself down to close and open doors and wotnot.  It all came flooding out surprisingly quickly.  I stripped off and looked hard in the mirror - something I haven't dared do in quite a while.  All the nasty things I've thought about myself, that I think about myself now, all the bullying, all the nasty comments, the rejection, it all came flooding out within a minute.  I don't know whether this shutting a door will work, but my shoulders do feel lighter.

My breakfast was delicious (a surprisingly large apple & raisin bar), but, despite a litre of water, I am hungry, and I know lunch is only a soup.  I've been warned about the hunger for the first 3 days - I know I have to persevere and keep my goals in mind.

-1 DAYS

So all my gear arrived.  I've sorted it and re-sorted it and spreadsheeted myself out with what to eat exactly when.  Tonight I buy in the few solids I am allowed for at least the next 2 weeks (basically consisting of cabbage).

I actually have big plans for tonight.  Not big in a good way really, just big in that I'm going to take some time to confront some of my 'issues' and then leave them behind.  I'm using the Taoist method of thinking all the bad things I think about myself and how I look, all the bad feelings I get when I look in the mirror, all the pain and anguish and torment.  Then, at its height, I'm visually shutting it behind a door.  Tao said that one door can only open to you when another closes, i.e. all the negative baggage prevents you from getting on and doing something about it without thinking "but I can't, I haven't been able to before, what's the point? I hate myself, I'll eat a bun".  So I'm closing the door on all the crap and bringing only positivity into my new life.

A kind of dieting "if you build it, they will come" scenario.

So, the final "before" measurements.

Weight: 11st 7.75lbs

BMI: 26

Body fat weight: 3st 7lbs

Body fat percentage: 31.2%

Body water percentage: 50%