So, I made a new Advantage Response Card (a card you carry with you with the reasons weight loss is important to you from the Beck Diet Solution Cog. Therapy weight loss program) this morning, and I thought I would share it with you all. I'd posted my original one, but I think it wasn't quite right. It was more of a list of reasons I thought I NEEDED to loose weight, and not a motivational list of things I WANT FOR MYSELF. So here it goes:
1. I want to feel sexy and desierable
2. I want to have kids without any weight related infertility issues
3. I want to be more outgoing and do more things I'm afraid of
4. I want more free time to foucs on other things
5. I want to regain the control over my body I've lost b/c of past violations
6. I don't want to be plus sized anymore
7. I want to live al ong time and be in good health
8. I want to increase my self-esteem
9. I don't want to pass my weight issues onto my kids like they were passed on to me.
10. I never want to worry that people think I'm the "dorky fat girl" again- because I'm NOT!
Which is not bad after the crappy transitional week I've had! So yay.
This loss has really inspired me to stay strong and work hard this week. I think the truth is I've been feeling like weight loss is IMPOSSIBLE and NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, as well as just feeling generally depressed and lonely after coming back to school. But you know what? All of that is in my head. I look around at all of you ladies, and I know this IS possible. And I can do it. So thanks for all of the support and kind words- you all keep me honest. Weight loss is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I CAN do it, the journey is long and it's only just begun, but you know what? I'll see yall at the finish line. No matter how long it takes!!!
Now, as for today, my loss is good...cuz I've been eating shit all week, skimping on my veggies and fudging on my pts...
NO LONGER. Breakfast is a fiber one bar (gotta love 'em) and diced peaches...3 pts. Now I'm off to the gym before lunch and class. And since my wk starts over today, I've got all my pts for going out tonight. Yay! Hope everyone has a great friday!
It's looking like I'm not gonn ahave any classes on Wednesday (maybe a section but that's it- YAY!), so that's exciting.
I got up and went to the gym with my best friend and worked out for 20 mins on the elliptical, 10 on the stairclimber (my least fav, but I did it, and boy did I feel the burn!), 10 on the bike and 20 on the treadmill, going uphill. For a total of 60! I earned 7 APs. I feel so proud :)
Then, I went to the supermarket and bought a lot of great stuff- like fruit cups, 100 cal packs, yougarts and Smart One's deserts (which I'm so excited to try when I get that much needed craving). So I feel prepaired.
Also, to share, my #1 favorite breakfast bar/snack bar is the Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bars...they're 140 calories and 9 grams of fiber, for a total of 2 pts! And they're much more filling and (in my opinion) SATISFYING then most of the other 2 pt. bars out there. So check them out :)
So I'm off to chill until dinner...hope everyone's having an equally relaxing day. We can do this! One step at a time!
So yesterday I found that flex wasn't as hard at it's been previously for me given the dining hall situation. The only thing I struggle w/ is getting in all my fruits and veggies, cuz the dining hall's are not very fresh.
I at all my pts yesterday, and used one of the three APs I earned from 30 mins on the elliptical...so I feel pretty good. The only thing I worry about is having desserts...I ate a brownie yesterday, and it was 5 POINTS!!! Yuck, right? I know.
Sooo...I've gotta work on that. They're having my favorite desserts today, the kind I CANT just eat one of, so my goal is NONE. I think it won't be so hard. Wish me luck and send super skinny vibes!!!
So CORE is going to be hard for me. But honestly, it's nothing I can't handle.
Today was not so good- it was the day I said goodbye to my off again on again boyfriend who I won't be seeing/ talking to that frequently for the next two and a half months. It's hard for me because, despite all of the problems we've had, we still love eachother. So it was emotional.
So I ate a lot of crap. And on my home, I stopped at the grocery store to buy some binge food (under the pretenses of buying low fat popcorn.)
I wanted cheescake. So I bought it. I wanted a whole cheesecake...yummm...one of the ones with the many different flavors...ohhhhh....yeahhhh....
but they were all out. They did have the whole plain ones. You know, there *kinda* small, like the size of a personal pizza....I ate a whole one of thoes last summer one night when I was alone at home and feeling super sad and lonely. pathetic, I know.
But I resisted. Instead, I bought a single slice. 6 points. Not good, but could be worse. Riight? RIGHT!
And I ate it. It wasn't as good as it should have been, and now my tummy hurts. But whatever. Food never is as good as it SHOULD be...yet for some reason, I can't stop eating it.
Anyhow, tomorrow is my little brother's birthday party, and it will be CRAZY...and then Sunday I'm back at school...wish me luck!
OK, so I'm recomitting to blogging every day. NO MORE AVOIDANCE. I'm going back to school in three days, and I've been dealing with a lot of emotional stuff at the route of my low self-esteem, eating disorder and inability to loose weight, which I think it's really helping me grow. So yay!
In other news, the SB diet Phase One made me sick :( The whole detox thing gives me migranes. So, I've decided to bite the bullet and do Weight Watchers again. There are no meetings by my school, so I'm gonna do online. I'll sign up later and tell 'yall what plan I pick. YAY! I'm actually sort of excited!
So my parents are calling me to go eat dinner, but I'll be back on later tonight. And a word to any of you who are reading this but haven't posted in a while: POST! I wanna know what's up with you. The only way to do this is to stay accountable!
Sending Skinny Vibes to You All Across Bloggerland!
I went out for lunch with my Grandma for the first time in forever (her treat) and it was really fun. But I had a pasta dish with cheese and bacon, as well as frango chessecake...which is the most amazing thing in the world, but makes me fattttter!
For dinner, it was a subway sandwich, not bad, but not on plan. So, tomorrow it's back to the grind...we all slip up, but at least today wasn't a BINGE, right? RIGHT! Also, to the gym in the morning.
I go back to school in less than a week, which is GOOD because it means I'll see my friends again, but BAD because I'm nervovus it will be harder for me to stay OP. I'll need EXTRA motivation when I get there. Hope everyone else is doing well!
Thanks for all of you guys for the encouragement. It's so refreshing! Today was pretty good food wise. I had two scrambled eggs w/ onions for breakfast, an Indian buffet where I didn't eat any naan (SO HARD!) and just had veggies and chix, and shrimp and cashew nuts for dinner, plus two glasses of milk for post-dinner snack. So all and all, doable.
I didn't make it to the gym today, which was a shame, but it was mostly because I saw my ex/on-again off-again boyfriend who I'm still in love with, and it was, as always, kinda hard. So I just ended up feeling bummed and taking it easy tonight. But tomorrow, it's back to the gym bright and early. Hope everyone else is having a good weight-loss day!
