Which could be worse. The M&Ms were me giving into temptation...my bff had a bag and kept offering me them :( But at least I had the cals.
Plus I went for a 40 min wogg (walk/jog) yesterday, and am feeling soar!
But the scale shows! I'm down another 0.6 this morning! YAY!!!!!
As for BDS (which for GCQMom and anyone else who's wondering is the Beck Diet Solution, a congnitive therapy plan that works with any diet to "train your brain to think like a thin person" and fight binging, craving and slip ups), Week 2, Day 2's assignment was to set a realistic first goal (like loose 5 lbs.)
Mine is to get into the 250s. Then it will be to get into the 240s. Etc. 10 lbs seems like a realistic enough goal to do one at a time and keep me motivated. YAY!
So as for today so far, I woke up late and didn't work out, but I'll go to the gym this afternoon after my last class. Other than that, I'm gonna keep eating clean and drinking my water. I'm off too read yalls blogs real quick before class. TTYL!
I didn't think there was one- but I found one! It's a bike/jogging path that's sort of off campus...but there are still blue light phones (which are these posts with red buttons that call security) all up and down it, so I think it's safe. YAY!
I was so sad because at home in Chicago I'd been jogging along the lakefront, and hadn't found the equivelent here. BUT I FOUND IT!
So I wogged (walked/jogged) for 40 mins today! YAY!
I feel great! Now off to shower/lunch/class...I'll check back in later!
Nothing like a new low number to get me motivated! Hope everyone else is having a good start to their day! I'm off to work and then for a run, I'll check back in later!
So I'm back in the saddle after a long weekend. I've done so much work, it's ridiculous! Also, I didn't count calories for the 2.5 suggary drinks I had last night...which was BAD. But I'm back now and more ready than ever to kick some butt!
I know it's pretty low, but after the way I've been eating over the weekend, I''m not suprised that my body seems perfectly fine with it :) I'm learning I really gotta watch myself when it comes to food, or I'll NEVER get where I wanna go!
The weight loss stuff is hard, but then again, so is life, I guess. It's just something I've gotta do FOR ME. And it's about time.
As for BDS Week 2, this morning I buckled down and caught up. Today's task is to make an exercize plan. So I did!
I'm going to run every morning right after I get up for half an hour. YAY! Tomorrow is day one. I can do it- I KNOW I can!
I'm sending skinny thoughts your way! Now to the gym to make up for this shitty weekend!
I've really gotta get serious and stop fucking around. It's time to change my attitude. So, here's the plan:
-Back to working the Beck Steps -Recomittment to my diet (specifically NO SIMPLE CARBS OR SUGAR!!!!!) -EXERCISE -Weight myself regularly to keep accountable, and log it ALL here
I'm starting to fail again, and that's not an option. I'm done being fat. Forever. So here it goes. Wish me luck!
I mean, yes, my portion sizes are better than they would be otherwise, but MAN am I making bad choices. And I just feel like SCREAMING. And CURSING!
I don't want to be this fat anymore. I DON'T. I want loosing weight to not be so hard. I'm tired and pissed off. I spent all day in the library and am in the library NOW and have planned to do work for the next 6 hours. BLAH!
I just feel like I'm not doing well, I don't have the support I want, and I'm tired and lazy. Yes, I want to be thin desperately...but I don't want it to be this HARD. I've got so much other work to do.
I know I'm whining, but right now I just have such a defeatist attitude.
So yesterday wasn't that good. And frankly, I'm really worried that when I weigh myself tomorrow, I won't have a loss. Which will really make me sad, seeing how I've really being trying.
Food yesterday was bad, but not as bad as it could be. I ate:
Which is higher than I would have liked, but lower than I probably would have eaten otherwise.
Still, all the pizza has made me feel really sick. My stomache aches and I just feel BLACH. I guess I also feel really discouraged by it all. I mean, I guess I just need to slow down, work the BDS steps and reflect, but GOD DO I FEEL NASTY. And discouraged. I WANT MORE WEIGHT LOSS!!! NOW!!!
I dunno, I guess I'll just have to buckle down and try to be truly healthy (no PIZZA!) from now on. I mean, even though I budgeted for pizza, I still WAYYY overate. Which is not good. So here's to trying, yet again, to suceede!
I went to the gym! I did 40 mins on the elliptical! I sweat! I got my heart rate up!
Even though it wasn't super intense, it was still ACTIVITY! YAY!
Funny, feeling guilty about binging actually caused me to go work out...not binge more. Could it be that this behavior modification is actually WORKING?!? Let's hope so!
So yeah, I'm disgusting. I feel awful. I'm not eating any more, but I'll just drink water and maybe work out...I dunno, I feel kinda sick. I should, I know, but I feel sad and sick and fat. Really, who thought cobbler could do this? But it can.
As for BDS day 6, I failed on all levels. I didn't read my ARC at all, I didn't eat slowly at dinner. Bad. So tomorrow is gonna be a new day. I'm gonna stick to my calories, do lots of veggies, keep cals down in the AM so I can eat pizza at my party tomorrow and get back on track!
at dinner and now I feel like a fat fat FAT pig. I started out ok and DIED.
I ate:
A hamburger w/ WW whole wheat bread instead of a roll Pizza (190 calories worth) Broccoli
Not TOO bad, right? Well, then I had...
MORE PIZZA (250 cals worth) Apple Cobbler Ice cream
AHHHH. I'm such a pig, and so afraid to count the calories. But at least I'm recording it here, so that'll force me to count it all up later. Damn you, accountability.
I just feel so nasty. But now I have to go to section. So here I go. Blech.
