Nothing New

Well there's nothing new to report from me.  My weigh in is tonight.  Hopefully I'll bounce back into onderland by then.

Tomorrow is my surgery.  I'm having the cysts removed.  I won't be at work tomorrow or Friday (probably), so I'm not sure if I'll blog again before Monday, but I'll be hoping that all of you have an excellent, on-plan weekend.

I'll try to stop by briefly to let you know how my WI went, if I saw onderland and how the pain is, but if not, I'll catch you all up on Monday.

It's not a myth.

For years I've been hearing about this mythical land where people smile and dance.  The sky is always blue and the rivers always clear.  Clouds are white and fluffy and birds sing in the trees.   People are polite to each other and don't point and laugh.  And everyone loves exercise because the more you exercise the longer you're alowed to stay in this beautiful land.  I thought for sure it was a myth.  It was the stuff legends were made of.  Just stories created to entertain and amuse.  I thought that... until last night.  Last night I visited this incredible world.  That's right... last night I went to Onderland.  It was glorious.  I was so amazed to find myself there that I double checked and then triple checked, but yes, I was finally there.  Of course, the visit was fleeting.  I'm back in Two Town today, but oh.... to have been there for even just those few blissful hours was more incredible than I can express.  Tomorrow is my official WI.  Hopefully, I'll make it back to Onderland before then.  I'm so sick of Two Town.

Yeah me!!!

2 Big Things

Well, first of all... yes, I did take my long walk home again on Friday.  It felt really good, but even though I wore sunscreen, I got burned again.  I look like a lobster.

Secondly, I was desperately in need of new jeans, so I finally gave in this weekend and bought a new pair.  They are 12's!!!!  That's huge since I started as a 22.  My God, I'm even impressed with myself.  I'm now wearing the smallest size available in my fat stores.  Of course, as those of us "big girls" know, a plus 12 is not really a 12.  In reality, it's probably more like a 14 or so, but still it feels nice to know that soon I'll no longer be able to shop in my fat stores.  It's also kind of scary though because now I have no idea where I will shop.  I'm still too fat for most stores, but I'm too small for my old stores.  I guess I'll be spending a lot of time at Walmart.  It's the only place that I'm fairly certain I'll be safe.

Bumps and Burns

I saw the surgeon yesterday.  He's 99% sure that the bumps are just cysts.  He sees them all the time and removes them regularly.  I'm scheduled to get them out next Thursday.  I'm really kind of looking forward to it.  It'll be so nice to not have this lump on my forehead anymore.

On the not so great side, I walked home from my appointment and got my first sunburn of the season.  You'd think that after just worrying about whether I had a cancerous tumor in my head, I'd remeber to wear sunscreen to protect against getting other cancerous issues, but no... apparently I'm an idiot.

On the weight loss front, not much going on lately.  I've decided to try to take my 5 mile walk again today and again every Friday until the fall.  In the summer, my office closes early so I've got plenty of time to take an earlier bus and then make the trek home before DH arrives for dinner.

I'll let you know if I actually stick to that.  Don't hold your breath, though.

Onderland still in the distance

Well, last night's WI did not put me in Onderland, yet.  I lost a measly .2 pounds.  Well, at least it's not a gain.

I'm at home today.  I have a consultation appointment with a surgeon.  I have 3 bumbs on m head.  I've had them for many years, but in recent years they've started to grow.  A couple of different doctors have looked at them and seem to think that they are cysts and that they are harmless, but I'd really like to confirm that and get rid of them.

I'm a bit nervous, but I know I really need to do this.

I'm really hoping that they will say they're cysts, make an appointment to have them removed and if I'm really lucky, the combined weight of all 3 will be .9 pounds and that will bring me into Onderland.  Cross your fingers for me.

Slump

Well tonight is WI and I should be excited.  Last week I saw 201, so the chances were good that this week I'd see Onderland.... finally.  However, this week I've been in sort of a slump.  I haven't worked out as often (or as hard) as I used to and I've had some extra snacks here and there, so I don't think I'll be seeing Onderland tonight.

It's so weird that I would get this close to a major mileston for me and then suddenly feel like I just don't care.  I don't know what's up with that.  Hopefully, the funk will break soon and I'll get back to losing.  In the mean time, I'll just have to pray for a maintain this week so that when the slump ends, I'll have very little  to go before I do see the ellusive Onderland.

I fell

Last night was a really hard night for me.  After nearly 6 months smoke free, I came very close to chucking it all and deciding to pick up the filthy habit again.  I miss it sooooo much.  It truly is the hardest thing that I've ever done.  Even harder than exercising and you all know how much I loathe that.

Well, it took a lot of soul searching and a lot of tears, but I did get past the hurdle and once again found my many inspirations for butting out (my DH being the #1 reason - I know it should be my health, but if you've ever been a smoker, you know that the health issue, for some strange reason, never really hits home until you or a loved one develop a problem and sometimes even that's not enough).  Anyway, my path is once again clear and I didn't have to falter in order to renew my faith.

However, during and right after this crisis, I did indulge my other addiction...food.  Last night I ate 2 of those 100 calorie Entenman's treat bags (so yummy) and a 100 calorie Reese's treat bag.  There are certain days that I allow myself 1 (if I skipped the bun on my turkey burger, or something to that effect), but yesterday was not one of those days.  All 300 calories were unplanned.  However, I told myself I "deserved" them for passing on the cigarettes.  Yes, it's probably better that I had 300 cals than a cig, but it's still wrong.

So, in order to make up for it, I got on my Gazelle and stayed there for over 100 minutes.  The timer actually ran all the way around and restarted.  According to the machine, I burned off over 800 calories.  That made me feel much better. 

Today, I'm back on track and while I still want a cig and I still want more Entenman's (the real ones - Ooooh  those soft choc chip cookies...mmmm), I will over-come these cravings and succeed.

Hmmmm, can we say addictive personality.

So Far Behind

I've been so swamped with work that I've fallen unbelievably behind with all of you.  My Google Reader informs me that I have over 100 unread blog entries to get through.

I'm staying late at work tonight in order to try to catch up with all of you, but damn I feel so over-whelmed.  I never thought that I'd stress so much over the internet, but I'm terrified that I'm missing big happenings out there.

I promise to try to catch up as quickly as I can and then hopefully I'll never let myself get this far behind again.

BTW, my folks FINALLY noticed!!!!  The comment was quick and not brimming with pride as I would have liked, but at least they noticed.

Quick Update

First, I want to say thank you so much to everyone who has sent me such kind words over the past few days.  It's been a tough week so far, but all of your messages have really helped.

I've also been totally swamped lately and so I haven't had a chance to update, but I had to stop by quickly and let you all know how this week's WI went.

Well, as you know, I went to Buffalo this weekend.  Over-indulged slightly, but I knew that even if I had a 5 pound gain, it was totally worth it. 

Well, I lost!!!  Not only did I lose, but I lost 4.2pounds!!!  I'm now at 201.  Just 1.1 to go before that nasty 2 disappears forever!!!  Whoo Hooo!!!!!

As if that weren't enough, I picked up a new pair of capris last night - They were a 14!!!!  I started this journey at a 22!!! 

I'm so proud of myself and that's something that I'm not used to feeling.  I know that I've got a long way to go, but I really feel like I can do this.  What I love most about all of this, is that I feel like I am really changing, not just my weight, but all of me.  Wow, how positive and upbeat of me, huh.

Anyway, I'm hoping to get a chance to stop by all of your blogs today.  My google reader informs me that I should board myself up at home for the next 3 days to catch up, but I'll try to get through some of it today.

Thanks again for all your kind words.

The Trip

Well, Buffalo was very productive.  We bought our regular assortment of fat-free goodies.  I bought 5 new pairs of sandals.  We had a pretty great time.  Very fun and very relaxing.  We didn't eat exactly on plan.  We were fairly good most of the time (i.e. Weight Watchers meals at Applebee's...yum), but Sunday morning we split a meat lovers omelet at Dennys (OH MY GOD!!!  It was fantastic).  And then last night's dinner was pretty "okay", but we shared a cookie sundae for dessert.  (It was Heavenly!)

I'm not feeling guilty about any of it.  I really needed the break and we did lots of walking.  Even if I gained 5 pounds, it was well worth it.

On a down side though, I found out on Sunday that my Grandmother passed away.  I know that it was probably for the best as she has been living with very advanced Alzheimers for the past 10 years and the last 5 years of her life she was barely "living", but it's still pretty hard to let go.

Anyway, I'll try to check in on all of you, but after being in the office for just the past half hour, I can already tell that I'm going to be swamped today.