I Just Love Food, Dammit!

Lost

Saturday, December 8, 2007 22:03:13

Okay, so I'm back after a long, disappointing break during which I gained back 20 of the 60 pounds that I had initially lost when I joined Jenny.

I feel so lost. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm not sure what to do. I was doing so well. Jenny was really helping. I was structured and understood what to eat and how much and even if I had to eat "off plan", I was a pro. Then I went on vacation and had the most incredible reunion... with real food!!!

Hubby and I ate and ate and ate and of course defended our actions by saying "We're on vacation. It doesn't count. We'll get back on track when we go home." Well, that was about a year ago and we're still not back on track.

Many times a week we find ourselves hiding in our car eating McDonalds or Wendy's. When I go grocery shopping I find myself throwing our bakery's freshly baked chocolate chunk cookies (you have no idea how incredible these are) into my basket. Even when we try to be good and we pass on the bad stuff and instead grab 100cal snack, we end up eating the whole box instead of a single serving.

Our behaviour is out of control and I know it and I know that I need to stop, but here's the thing.... I love food!!! I love baked goods and M&Ms and pizza and burgers. I love them all and I'm not sure that a life without them is really worth living (God, how sad is that?!?!).

I just don't know what to do to get over this food addiction. I know there's an over-eaters annonymous group that meets pretty close to where I live, but I'm not sure if it's for me or not. I'm really shy and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get the courage to go to a meeting or not, but I know I should give it a try.

I'll let you know if I find the courage.

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Vacation

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 00:09:10

Well, vacation was fabulous! Not only was the weather great and we did/saw a lot and had a blast at Disney, but .... oh.... the fooooood!!!!

We ate so much food that by the beginning of the second week we figured we'd probably gained 12lbs (we had allowed ourselves up to 10 - we figured it'd be well worth it!).

We ate everything you can imagine. Seafood coated in butter or white sauce, pizza, cookies, brownies, doughnuts, hot dogs, you name it.. we ate it. We even went to a buffet....mmmmm.....

Then during our second week there, we discovered that just blocks away there was an Entenman's Warehouse with a tiny store attached selling stuff for supremely low prices. We bought boxes of their choc chip cookies (and ate them for breakfast... can you say gluttonous) and their cheese crumble danish...oh God it was good.

Anyway, after all that we came back and knew that we had gained, but we were totally okay with it because it was well worth it.

Well, as it turns out, we each only gained 2 pounds!!! Wow!!!

We were so excited!!!!

The only problem now is that I'm having a hard time getting back into it. There have been a few days that I've needed just an extra something here and there since I'm now so used to eating so much each day, but I'm not walking or swimming the way I was on vacation so I haven't lost anything that I gained in Florida yet, but I expect that to change very soon because.......

We got a puppy!!!!

He's absolutely adorable and starting in November (we have to wait until all his shots are done) we can start walking him regularly and taking him for runs/jogs.

His name is Daytona - that's where we were when we decided to get one - and he's a tiny little Malti-Poo (Maltese, Poodle cross-breed).

I'll post some pics shortly and maybe one of me on vacation.

Hope you're all hangin' in there okay!!

Have a great Tuesday.

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I'm alive.

Thursday, December 7, 2006 22:07:11

Well, I'm not dead. Some of you might have thought that, but no I've just been on a blogging break.

The weight loss has been going really well. I'm past half way so I've been able to eat 1-2 days a week on my own which has been sooooo wonderful. Unfortunately I've lost all will to work out so the losses have been slowing down significantly.

However, I've lost so much that I can now shop just about everywhere and that's exactly what I've been doing lately. I even bought a skirt... and wore it!!! First skirt in 7 years... I was impressed!

I also cut my hair short (relatively) for the first time in 20 years. What a difference. I was standing at the printer the other day in my new skirt, with my new hair and 3 different people in my office came to ask who I was until I turned around and they were like, "Wow, I didn't even know that was you". Gotta love that.

I'll be heading back to Florida in 11 days. I'm more excited than I can even explain. DH and I have already decided that we don't plan to go crazy overboard, but we're not being careful either, we're fully expecting about a 7 pound gain when we return, and we're okay with that. It'll sooo be worth it.

Before I go, I'll try to post some pics of my new hair and new shape. I know it's not very modest to say, but I think I'm lookin' damn good these days and I'm finally really proud of myself.

Anyway, more (with photos) later.

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Still Truckin' Along

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 22:07:13

Well all, I'm still on a break from blogging. I am reading up on all of you though and I'm so impressed with everyone.

While I have been on a blogging break, I'm still truckin' along with the diet. DH and I are still faithful to Jenny. Workouts have fizzled, though. I blame the heat.

However, all that being said, last night at WI, I discovered that I now weight 189!!!! That's 51 pounds lost!!! That also means that I've hit my half-way mark!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!

I hate to say this, but even I have to admit that I'm startin to look pretty damn good!

Life is still incredibly hectic. Between work issues and family issues I barely have time to miss the Triple Chocolate Cheesecake, but I'm hangin' in there.

Today is actually my 30th birthday and I'm finally able to say that I'm really happy with where I am right now. On top of losing 51 pounds in the past 6 months, and having that freakish horn removed from my forehead, I also just celebrated 7 months smoke free! This has been a really positive year for me.

I rock!

Hopefully soon things will calm down enough for me to get back to blogging on a regular basis, but this is it for now.

Congrats to all of you who are continuing to fight this battle. Victory is not in the number on the scale, but in the strength in the soul.

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Break

Monday, December 4, 2006 22:09:12

Well, my Dad's surgery went okay. He's still in the hospital, though and not feeling too great, of course. On top of everything, they've now found a "cloud" on his lungs in his last x-ray which they'll investigate further once he's mostly recovered from surgery.

Things lately for me are pretty crazy. There's just so much going on these days that I'm making myself crazy.

I think I need to take a break from blogging. I will keep up my diet and I'm not going to go back to smoking, but I do need a bit more time to relax and let go of everything. Blogging was supposed to help me to do that, but it's gotten to be a bit of a stress in itself. If I get behind a day or two and I feel like I'm letting people down and if I'm not checking in with all of you I feel like I'm missing out on some important stuff.

Hopefully, I'll come back. Maybe I'll at least check in every week or so with my weight, but right now, I'm not even sure that I can commit to that.

Thanks to all of you who have helped to support me through this journey. I will miss you more than I thought I could miss blogging pals.

Good luck to you all!!!

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It Caught Me

Monday, December 4, 2006 22:05:08

At WI on Wednesday I was so proud that TOM hadn't affected my weight. I thought that I had conquered the curse. Apparently, no such luck. TOM caught me yesterday. I went up a full 2 pounds. On top of which, this blister is still putting a crimp in my workout routine and I'm a bit worried that I won't be able to work off this stupid 2 pounds before my next WI.

On top of everything else, this weekend is going to be super stressful. We're going to be at my parents Sat - Mon because my Dad's having prostate surgery on Monday. I'm really worried and stressed and I just want to eat and cry, but I'm stayin' strong (that's always been my job in the family).

Anyway, since I'll be away, I won't be posting again until at least Tuesday so I hope you all have a great weekend.

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Tom, Tom go away

Monday, December 4, 2006 22:04:10

Well, Tom showed up yesterday. I was already feeling cruddy and then bam! And it just had to happen on WI day, too. Well, as it turns out, even with Tom, I still lost over 1 pound! Yeah me. I know it's not much, but as long as it's a loss, I'm excited. I don't want to have to drop my calorie level (I'm at 1500 now) and I know that as soon as I start losing, my JCC is going to suggest I drop to 1200. I'm so not ready for that yet.

On other topics, So You Think You Can Dance starts tonight. I'm so excited. It's the only "girly" reality show that my DH will watch with me.

I'm still in Blister Hell. I can't do any of my usual workouts because I need to wear shoes and all my workout shoes rub against it. I finally found a shoe that doesn't rub against it, but it's a high heel and I can't really work out in those.

I've taken to just doing lots of stretching and stuff. Even just jogging in place in barefeet hurts. Hopefully this won't mess with next weigh-in.

Well, I'm off to check in with you guys. Enjoy the day!

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Ouch!!!!

Monday, December 4, 2006 22:03:09

Last night, I got a HUGE blister from walking part of the way home. I really need to start carrying some proper shoes in my purse at all times.

Regardless of the pain, I did work out for 45minutes anyway.

Even aside from the blister, I still wasn't ready to run yesterday. I've been walking by the track at various times trying to find a time of day when there aren't too many people there, but it seems that this track site is extremely popular.

Maybe I'll need to get up at around 4:30 and give it a go. However, that leads to a whole new problem.... skunks. I hate skunks and we have a ton of them around our place and they're always out in the wee hours of the morning. I really don't want to disturb them and make them angry.

Oh well, maybe soon I'll stop making all of these excuses and just run.

Weigh in is later tonight. Hope I'm still in Onderland!!! I wore capris today in the hopes that less fabric equals less weight on the scale. My fingers are crossed.

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Back

Monday, December 4, 2006 22:02:14

Well, I'm back at work... Woopie!!! Hang on a second, I have to get a cloth to mop up all the sarcasm dripping from that one.

As you can guess, I'm less than thrilled to be back. My desk is swamped and I'm stressed.

The head is healing fine. I'll be getting the stiches out later this week. I can't wait. It's so frustrating not being able to brush properly or use mousse. I look like Frankenstein with these stiches, but the horn is gone, so that's a plus.

Other than that, there's not much going on. I've been really, really lazy. Last night I worked out for about an hour and a half, but prior to that, I hadn't worked out in about a week. My scale still shows me in Onderland, but I won't stay there for long if I don't start movin' my butt.

I just found out that there's a track at the school right across the street from my house. If I ever get over my embarassment, maybe I too will start to run.

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Thanks

Monday, December 4, 2006 23:07:14

Well, first I want to say thank you to all of you who wished me good luck with both the weigh-in and the surgery.

I just got back from the surgery and while I am in a bit of pain, I definately have a less freakish looking head now. Seems like it went well. I just have to recover now and then go back next week to have the stiches removed.

As for weigh-in... I did it!!! I'm officially in Onderland!!! 198 Baby!!!!

Thanks again to all of you. Your support has really made this a lot easier. By the way, I know that I said I'd be back Monday, but I forgot that it's a holiday for us here, so I won't return until Tuesday, but I'll be thinking of all of you and hoping that those of you who aren't living here yet, will soon join me in Onderland!

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