Lost
Okay, so I'm back after a long, disappointing break during which I gained back 20 of the 60 pounds that I had initially lost when I joined Jenny.
I feel so lost. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm not sure what to do. I was doing so well. Jenny was really helping. I was structured and understood what to eat and how much and even if I had to eat "off plan", I was a pro. Then I went on vacation and had the most incredible reunion... with real food!!!
Hubby and I ate and ate and ate and of course defended our actions by saying "We're on vacation. It doesn't count. We'll get back on track when we go home." Well, that was about a year ago and we're still not back on track.
Many times a week we find ourselves hiding in our car eating McDonalds or Wendy's. When I go grocery shopping I find myself throwing our bakery's freshly baked chocolate chunk cookies (you have no idea how incredible these are) into my basket. Even when we try to be good and we pass on the bad stuff and instead grab 100cal snack, we end up eating the whole box instead of a single serving.
Our behaviour is out of control and I know it and I know that I need to stop, but here's the thing.... I love food!!! I love baked goods and M&Ms and pizza and burgers. I love them all and I'm not sure that a life without them is really worth living (God, how sad is that?!?!).
I just don't know what to do to get over this food addiction. I know there's an over-eaters annonymous group that meets pretty close to where I live, but I'm not sure if it's for me or not. I'm really shy and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get the courage to go to a meeting or not, but I know I should give it a try.
I'll let you know if I find the courage.