My husband and I received in invite to dinner from my mother. We reluctantly accepted and asked if we could bring anything (hoping she would offer what was being served). She said she didn’t need anything and did not offer any further information. Keeping our fingers crossed we arrived at their home around 6:00 last night, walked in the door, and immediately saw that she was cooking stir fry. The one meal Scotty and I both have to force feed ourselves. Neither of us are big fans of veggies, but will eat them since they are healthy. Not only did it of course had veggies, it had veggies we never even heard of, for instance, some sort of miniature corn that is supposed to be oriental. Anyway, we were trying to be polite, and assumed she had forgotten what her own daughter likes or doesn’t like to eat. However, she made it a point to say, “I know you guys really do not like this, but I thought I would cook it since we like it.” So now we know this was intentional.
She gave me a very small serving, less than the size of the palm of my hand or what my closed fist could hold. She gave my husband a heaping portion, which made things awkward considering he doesn’t like stir fry either so now he had an even bigger portion to try to politely either hide, throw under the table, or force-feed.
Immediately I saw all this white rice, and I’m thinking carbs, the bad ones. I’m not following any diet, but I often eat way too many carbs, then when I tasted the chicken, I quickly realized it tasted quite familiar. I inquired. Mother told me the chicken was left over from KFC the night before. Lovely, that’s really helping my weight loss. I told her I was trying to stay away from fast food (hoping to not give away the fact that I am dieting) and she said “well that’s why I gave you such a small portion, really I should have given you less than that!”
The dinner was miserable and my stomach was growling of hunger as soon as I left. I was determined to not eat anything else since that was “dinner” and I felt an eerily familiar feeling from when my mother would serve me small portions and expect me to not eat more or ask for more.
Finally by bedtime, I was so starved I didn’t even feel right. I was tired and didn’t want to take the time to make anything so I grabbed a few soft batch chocolate chip cookies, a glass of milk and went to bed. (not before weighing myself of course… yes I’m still trying to kick that habit). The scale read 214.4. I thought, yesssss I’ll weigh at least a pound less than that when I weigh myself in the morning.
Well, I got up this morning, rushed to the scale and it read 214.4. The moral to this story, is that when you starve yourself, you do not lose weight. I almost always lose one to two pounds overnight. I did not lose anything, I gained nothing by making myself miserable. Needless to say, I doubt I’ll be having dinner with my mom anytime soon!
Boss: I need you to run down to Il Forno to pick up italian sandwhiches for the practice group luncheon.
Me: (thinking.... grrrr I don't want to have to get off my butt and walk down there then smell your delicious food the whole way back).
TODAY:
Boss: I need you to run down to Il Forno to pick up italian sandwhiches for the practice group luncheon.
Me: (thinking... yesssss! More excercise! Just hope I have enough willpower to tolerate the delicious smell! Perhaps I'll eat at subway so that I can my own delicious italian sandwhich).
I'm half way through my 8th week (I thought it was 9th, apparently, I can't add), and I've lost 10 lbs. I've continued my treadmill workouts every weekday morning, pushing myself a little more each time, watching what I eat, and taking a women's multi-vitamin. I also have started eating breakfast, even if its just in the form of a breakfast bar. I feel like I lost more than 10, and think I look like I lost more than 10lbs, but you know what they say, muscle weighs more than fat, and fat takes up more space than muscle. I've also really noticed it in my face, my eyes are less "pig eyed" (as my mother would say) and I'm seeing cheek bones and jaw bones that I haven't seen in a while. I feel great and am motivated to lose 90 more!
My goal is to get below 200 by my wedding anniversary which is June 11th, and be at my goal weight of 125 by my Birthday next year, which is October 1, 2009. I can do this, and I will!
Today I stuck to my guns and had a lean cuisine, then threw on my sneaks and WALKED 12 BLOCKS (both ways) to the local health food store where they sell alot of USDA Organic stuff. I picked up some snack bars (luna - never had before) and a few other snack type items to try. I need to go sometime in the evening so that I can make perishable food purchases like farm-fresh eggs, local produce, and meat-alternatives. I am not a vegetarian or vegan, but I love animals, and would like to try some of these alternatives not only for the health benefits, but for the anti-animal cruelty benefits. Overall, I'm just glad today's lunch went better than yesterdays and I feel good about eating right, purchasing good-for-me foods, and excercising.
I’ve let myself go and it shows. Not just weight-wise, but in other ways, things that I thought no one would notice, and people probably don’t notice, but I do, and I feel different. Let me explain.
Growing up, as a kid, I had to be very high maintenance due to the modeling/pageantry life my mother made me lead. For instance, pageant beauties always have bronze tans (plus I was Miss Hawaiian Tropic and had a company to represent at the age of 7). I remember not being able to go out in the sun without sunscreen, which my friend’s moms thought was very thoughtful. But what they didn’t see is my mother making friends with a tanning salon owner who would allow my 7 year old body in a tanning bed so that I could tan naked with no tan lines. Needless to say, I had to have a pre-cancerous mole removed from my back when I was 16. I also used to have my teeth professionally bleached, and eyebrows professionally plucked (yes, again around age 7 or so).
When I finally decided to lead my own life and got away from all that, I went way the other way. Of course I still did the makeup and fashion stuff like all teenagers do, but I let myself go even more so in my 20s, I dropped almost all of it, especially since that’s when I became my fattest. Now I realize that the only person I was hurting was myself and my confidence. I feel more confident when I know I look good.
So while I was at the dentist I got a new tube of bleach for my rubber tray, on the way home bought Jergens Natural Glow self-tanner (express and the daily lotion) and bought new wax for my wax pot.
So now I’m a bronzed, hair free beauty with white teeth. Did anyone notice? Of course not! Did I? You bet! I’m strutting my stuff a little more fashionista-like than before and feel better. Plus the fake tan helped camouflage my stretch marks and dimples from the cellulite and my new nicely shaped eyebrows make my face look slimmer. I wish I had done this before, and tonight I am planning on painting my nails and giving myself a mani/pedi. Its my reward for the weight loss; I used to use food to reward myself, so this is much better.
I did of course, weigh myself when I got home before I had dinner and saw that I had gained a pound since the morning, but that's normal for me. Then I ate a very small portion of the lasagna, (it did not take much effort to turn it down), and I walked away satisfied, not stuffed. Went for a walk, then again, of course, weighed myself before I went to bed and was pleased. This morning I woke up and I'm actually a pound down from yesterday. (I weighed myself 3-times like Voxxy said, to make sure I'm getting an accurate number). Wheeew! I'm glad I was able to recover with controlling my portions for dinner and staying active. This week it has seemed a little easier for me to lose, it is a week after my T.O.M. Could this have something to do with it? I didn't gain much beforehand, but then again, I didn't lose either.
As for my weighing-in obsession, I agree with all of the comments from my new friends, I must stop that. To start, I am going to only weigh myself in the morning and then put the scale away until the next day. I do like to weigh-in morning because I think it helps me stay on track, but weighing-in multiple times a day just causes needless anxiety.
Thanks for all the helpful comments yesterday! It really helped and I appreciate all of them.
I know this is a bit psycho and obssessive, but I weigh myself a MINIMUM of twice daily. Is that bad? Should I really resist and only weigh myself once a week? My husband is threatening to take the batteries out of my scale!
Skipping the Luncheon Treat at Work (Updated Again)
Thanks everyone for the support..... unfortunately I did not catch hubby in time, the lasagna is in the oven! Ick. I'll be so sick of lasagna by the night's end. So, I'm planning to take a very small portion, walk after dinner, and try to do some housework. Wish me luck! I'll report with the weigh-in/possible damage tomorrow!
I FAILED. A co-worker/frenemy asked if I wanted to join her, so I did. Salad was available, but I did not do the salad, I did the lasagna (yes, exactly what I'm going to have again for dinner tonight) which was topped with cheese, lots and lots of cheese and a few pieces of garlic bread! Eeeeeks! Bad PageantQueen, bad, bad, bad!
So for damage control, I slipped on my sneaks and walked very briskly for 15 mins. I can only hope it can counteract a few of the bits I took of the lasagna. While I was walking, all I could think about is that it would have been much easier to forego the lasagna, and perhaps forego the whole thing which was my initial intention. Darn.
Oh well, I cannot dwell, I must move on and start over. Perhaps I can change my dinner plans to something more healthy to help counteract my lunch slip up.
One of the Senior Partners at my law firm is celebrating a monumental birthday so the firm is treating us to a luncheon with lots of pastas and even wine. I'm trying to stay away even though the conference room is right around the corner from me. Plus, I'm having a small portion of lasagna for dinner tonight, so if I eat it for lunch, dinner won't be as special.
Its so hard to get active and keep the weight under control when I sit at a desk all day. I try to take frequent breaks and chug lots of water, which not only helps waterwise, but gets my butt out of the chair to go to the bathroom quite frequently!
