No that is not a typo!! I'm back, I'm motivated and I'm going to do it if it kills me. Not necessarily loose more weight or not much more but EXERCISE!!!
I am going to exercise more. I am tired of my little baseball player on my ticker moving backwards and I'm tired of looking in the mirror when trying on pants and seeing no rear...none, it slid off sometime ago. I used to have a nice round booty, rude men used to comment on it when I was young and slim...now a nice round booty is okay to have and where the hell is mine?? Gone, just up and slid away as if getting old didn't suck bad enough as it is.....
My new years resolution this year is to MAKE time for me and to TAKE time for me...no matter what I'm taking 30 minutes a day to do it. I'm going to work out, and get ready for the day every single morning. 30 minutes when I do not answer the phone, read email, do homework, take care of the puppy, or take care of ds...30 minutes of ME TIME. I am not going to do it at the unholy hour of 5:30 am anymore either...from 6:30 to 7:00 will be my time. Everyone else can just wait or go away during that time...
On a good note, my blood pressure this latest dr. visit was 120/80 which is damn good because I had not been taking any blood pressure meds for 2 weeks because I had run out. The dr. kept me on the blood pressure meds and mediformin again witih the promise that if I could loose 35 lbs I could try doing with out them. My cholesterol had improved so much she quit talking about pills for that. 3 years ago my blood pressure was so high I would wake up at night thinking someone was nailing roofing on the house next door. I was at near stroke level and my sugar was out of control. I started out taking 3 metaformins a day at 500 mg each. Now I'm down to 1-500 mg pill per day.
I am now battling the stupid kidney stones from hell. It seems like whenever I get really busy and stressed one or two will decide to break loose and create chaos when I can least afford it. During final exam week I had to deal with them. I still haven't passed them but at least I'm not in pain anymore.
I finished the semester with 3 As 1 B (damn grad student teacher) and a W (Biology not my thing)
New semester starts the 16th...tax season starts tomorrow, ds basketball games start Saturday....
I had a 'light bulb moment' as Oprah calls it the other day. I was at a freinds house and we had eaten lunch. I was helping to clean up afterwards and realized there were so many things in her house that I wouldn't dream of eatting now, that wouldn't have bothered me 12 years ago when we were roommates. Then it hit me, I really don't want to eat out or away from home anymore because it is such an issue that I would be a pain in the arse to feed. ( I'm glad we are volunteering for Thanksgiving then coming home to eat.)
I looked through her cabinet and saw white bread and buns, snack cakes, chips, soda with sugar, chips, crackers, cookies and gasp! candybars!!
My cabinet has rice cakes, (Quaker white cheddar rocks) shelled almonds, whole wheat bread, even whole wheat hamburger buns and hot dog buns. Oatmeal, brown rice, sugar free jello and pudding mixes canned fruit in water or light syrup. Splenda.
Her frige had mayo, (I really miss mayo), Whole milk, pimento cheese, sliced cheese, cheddar cheese,that canned spray cheese stuff (ahhh I miss real cheese sometimes, but now cheese is a garnish in Leah land.) More sodas with sugar.
My frige has mustard, basalmic vinegar, light ranch dressing (how did that get in there?)
soy sauce, teriyaki sauce, whole wheat tortillas, cartons of egg whites, light soy milk, spray butter substitute, spray salad dressing, lemon juice, low fat ham lunch meat, low fat cheese shreds. Soy eggroll wrappers, zuchinni, yellow squash, red bellpeppers, red onion, sliced mushrooms, avacado, romaine, bean sprouts, cucumbers, and carrots...all the produce is organic also. OMG!! Am I becoming a tree hugging vegetarian? What's next?
Oh and sour cream chicken enchiladas...no worries there my son has been inhaling those at the speed of light.
I became this organic veggie eatting creature when I wasn't looking. Just by making little changes one at a time. Not to say I could go all the way with the veggie thing, I still love my chicken and the occasional Backyard Burger and nothing can convince me that tofu is food.... I do love the Baja veggie burgers though......hmmmmm Nope, occasionally I'd have to have some yummy prime rib with horseradish also.
Okay I'm trying I really am, I had gotten back up to 181 just 2 weeks ago. I was to ashamed to post it on my weight tracker. Today I weighed myself and I am down to 175, which of course since I'm being honest and recorded it shows as a gain on my tracker... See what my prior dishonesty gets me...
I realize this is the stupidest time of the year to try to diet....but at least I will have an excuse not to try those 'mystery dishes' that show up at peoples holiday gatherings. I have a huge adversion to eating anything that comes from anyones kitchen I haven't seen.
The way I met my best friend was after a funeral we were both going down the serving line asking who made each dish. LOL A friend of mine was trying to convince her it was okay to eat my dish even though she didn't know me.
My strange food adversion carries over to my moms cooking also, she has cats, 3 cats, all 3 live in the house and it grosses me out the way they jump on counters and the table so I never eat over there. (If you know my mom don't tell her, she'll disown me for being ugly to my feline brother and sisters.) So I think for the holidays we might spend a lot of time at my mom's this year. I'll either not eat or overcome the feeling that I have cat hair in my throat with every bite. I'm betting I won't eat.
I'm being a good girl, I have worked out twice now to my new DVD, I have to say it's working because I'm moving like a 90 year old arthritic granny :D My back is feeling it so lets hope we are firming up the back fat. I think I will stick to my exercise ball for the abs I don't think the video is working on them enough.
BTW I hate cardio!! I know I need it, I WILL DO IT....but I ain't gotta like it. I think because it reminds me how pathetically out of shape I am. On the plus side I have been sleeping better but getting up earlier (time change) and then working out, getting my shower and cooking....YES COOKING BREAKFAST.........and I'm not talking poptarts or even the more advanced toaster strudel...
Today's breakfast eggwhite omlets with sauteed (in PAM) onions, red bellpepper, mushrooms....and sliced strawberries with spleda... My son is loving it!!
I promised a freind to take my picture in my new shirt so we can judge my progress. I will get ds busy with the camera this afternoon. I believe Halloween is an appropriate day for showing off one's BACKFAT!
Oh and our healthy approach to Halloween is since it's supposed to rain, we are going to the movies and having diet coke and plain popcorn instead of racking up tons of candy that either won't get eaten or will end up around our waists.
Okay I am back on the lifestyle change band wagon.!!! I promise to behave myself. I will be good, I will be dedicated. I am ashamed to admit how stinkin' vain I am but I had a 'lightbulb momment' as Oprah would call it.
I had Mr Hottie over the other night and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror....and OMG!!! IT was back, it's grotesque, it's hideous, gruesome, gross and all those other Halloween words. I saw THE DREADED BACK FAT!! Oh, and the dreaded bellyflap was filling back out....
NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo I cann't let it happen. I won't. I am so stressed with school and so stinkin' poor (car problems again ) You know what? It's a sad fact but those on a limited food budget can not afford to eat as healthy as those who have a little more to spend. We are going to get through this and I will finish school and at a healthy weight.
Okay I'm off to work on my Team Project. I hate, hate, hate team projects. I am SO NOT a team player because you know I am one of those suckers that ends up doing all the work and carrying the dead weight through. I resent it and them but that perfectionist side of me refuses to try for less than an A. (hmmm might be why I'm so stressed) I will have this power point thing figured out soon!!!
Sorry I haven't been on but I'm such a boring mess....that is all I can say to describe my life just Blah....boring....and everything stays the same no matter what. I'm steady gaining and retaining water and other bodily stuff...STRESS SUCKS, school stress, money stress, ex husband stress, it just all keeps adding up and what do I do? Run for the frige....yeah like that will help so now I have weight stress to add to everything else....BLAH...One stress I don't have is relationship stress because obviously I don't have what it takes to be in a relationship or to be worthy of one.... I'm online with Mr Hottie right now but he's so interested in the cardinals game he's obviously forgotten about me. Yep been on the instant messenger for about 15 minutes now and he has decided to stay home tonight....Neither of us has kids and neither of us has to work tomorrow...OWie!!! Yep Mr Hottie heard a couple weeks ago that I had a date scheduled and *poof* he just showed up again out of nowhere...then we picked back up again but I still went on the date ....well it was BLAH also, the guy wanted to sit around and drink all night...not my idea of a fun time.....So for now I'll take the Friends with Benefits arrangement with Mr Hottie but I think I'm going to just become a hermit.
Lazy, lazy, lazy, Yep that's me!!! I admit it, I haven't been walking, I have been eating, and my scale is going in the wrong direction...Don't ya hate it when that happens?
I am going to work out, and I am going to blog. My friend Kache made me promise. Darn, I never break promises to friends. Just to myself, why is that?
In my defense I have also been busy and bored at the same time. I am taking 16 hours this semester and all of it is boring!!! I am drowning in OLOGY!!! This semester I have Biology, Sociology, Sociology of EDucation, Pschology of Human Development, and a Education course (Finally)!!
I turn in my application to the Teacher Education Program this Wednesday :) !!! Then I have to take a test and pass an interview and get 2 recommendations from professors at the university... Helllooo Dr Hottie...
We did the great shopping trip and I bought stuff that wasn't brown!!! I love Anne Taylor's clearance rack too! I am still a size 14 :P Next trip size 10!!!! No 12's I have lots of skirts that I can make do with until I get into a size 10!!
I think our next shopping trip should be for glasses, we need to take the digital camera and make a decision after looking at the pictures away from the store.
okay time to go check out the gliding discs and see what kind of work out I get from them. If I don't kill myself on the discs I'll try the ball also...I have a horrible pudge roll I need to get gone!
Forget the weight loss this week....I must be retaining more water than the levys in New Orleans. I'm up 2 more lbs. WTH?
Or it could be the brownies I HAD to have...ugh...Or because I was so horribly broke all month I had to eat what I could afford instead of what I needed to eat.
I opened my yahoo email account this morning and it seems that I must have seriously misjudged ole blue eyes because there was an email there from him. Sent Friday...
<<<HI, Sorry I haven't written,......I have been real busy at work, and also at home, trying to get the kids down with a normal routine starting school......what have you been doing?>>>>>
This is after 2 weeks of emails saying Hello Beautiful and sending them almost hourly to several times a day to nothing for a entire week after we set up a date...WTH?? Men are seriously weird. I think I have constructed an email back to him as I would never be so rude as to leave an email unanswered for a week....
Let me know what ya'll think..
Hello,
Look you lowlife macho bastard, athough I may look sweet from my pictures and I teach preschool, I think you have seriously underestimated who you are f'ing with.
I am not lacking in the brains department although from the pictures you have posted of your Big Harley edition F250 truck and your not one but two Harley motorcycles, I must assume you are seriously over compensating for something.
I am also a busy single parent and I work 2 jobs and attend school fulltime in addition to my hobies of taking my son to baseball practices, scouts, and school and I can also remember when I make a definite date with someone. See attached emails from week before.... How am I able to remember so much and get it all done you may ask...It's called a CALENDAR dude, get one!!
Oh! Before you try to blow more smoke up my behind and keep me hanging on a string while you are fishing for more, and messing with the minds of other more deserving females let me also inform you that it is possible to have more than one identity on the singleparentmeet.com site. You can check and see when someone was last active.
It's amazing that about the same time you turned to vapor on me that you became active again on that site. Daily. While I have no say or interest in who else you are seeing or talking to I will say that I don't appreciate being told how busy you are while you were obviously not to busy to check for women on the site.
I'm a grown up, if I'm to fat, or bitchy, or you found an easier girl just say so. What's the worse that I can do? Tell you to F off and die? I'm sure you've heard it before.
Have a good day and write soon,
Leah
What do you think, to subtle?
As if I haven't been humiliated enough I am spending my Sunday afternoon dog sitting. Yep there's a new man in my life. He has beautiful thick red hair. The most gorgeous brown eyes and he actually drools when he sees me. He also has a body odor problem and should be bald soon at the rate he's shedding. OMG!! I am so not used to a dog in the house. How the hell do you cook with a huge creature like this that wants to put his paws on the counter tops and table....EEEEWWWWWW!!!
Ugh this is embarrassing. Tonight is the night of the big date!! Remember the guy with the beautiful blue eyes and dimples? Yeah, well. he won't be showing up. Seems like he just disappeared in to thin air. Hmmm Cold feet? My picture in shorts? My personality? Huge black hole in the universe over Nashville? The Nashville Triangle? We will never, ever, know because he didn't have the common human decency to give an explaination he just vaporized. Well kind of, it seems he is still active on the singles site singleparentmeet.com Titans63 if anyone wants a hot date. LOL MEN SUCK!!
Yes, it's almost that time again. Time to go clothes shopping for work. Once again I am not at goal so my cheap old heart won't allow me to buy well made clothes with big fat price tags since once again my clothes will only be worn for one season. :( I plan to hit the Wolfe Chase Galleria in about 10 days, hopefully all the back to school people will be cleared out. Anyone who is painfully honest is welcome to come. My 2 girlfriends will tell me everything looks great on me. They are so not coming!!
I hope to go back again before Christmas to fulfill a long time dream of mine.
~~~~~I want to go in Lane Bryant and try on pants and skirts and be able to huff out of the dressing room in a snit and announce...Huh! NOTHING in here fits me, it's all TO BIG!! And then run like hell through the mall before anyone can kick my skinny ass!!! LOL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the past 3 tax seasons I've gone from a 26 to a 24 -22 then from 22-18 and last season from 18 -16... now here I am in size 14's and some 12's :D
I realized the other day that my brain is seriously warped. I was talking to my son's teacher from the 2nd grade who has lost probably more than I have and more quickly. She looks fantastic! We were talking about how much more we had to loose. I told her 40 lbs more. ....suddenly it hit me..NO DUMMY only about 20 to 25 more.... OMG~~~ so why am I still screwing around and not losing this??? What the hell am I doing? Do I want to stay fat?? Am I so lazy that I'm willing to keep this extra 20 lbs forever?? NOOOOOO I want it off now!!
That said it's still like 105 degrees and 90% humidity here. I walked 2 miles at 6 am this morning while my 10 year old sat on a bench at the park and glared at me after he walked only 1 mile. I would have gone another mile but I just hated him sitting there out of my sight. I think I can make up for the other mile. I have been outside mowing my jungle of a yard. It's one acre and hasn't been mowed in about 3 weeks. Oh and we finally got rain, so it has really grown. I don't know if I've burned any calories at it yet as I keep coming back inside to rehydrate and cool off...I've drank a lot of water though :)
My mom called she is finally ready to hem my jeans! Thanks Ma! They are size 14 GAP button fly jeans with the wide bootcut legs. They look great with my boots with the 3 inch heel. 1 small problem...the boots are now to big and have been given away...oh and I wore the other pair of gap jeans just like these the other night...TO BIG!!! They made my stomach look huge as they sagged in the belly and my but which is already FLAT looked nonexistant as they sagged in the butt too!!
Anyone need some jeans?? We can start our own sisterhood of the traveling pants. I'll mail them to you, you just have to mail them to the next person!
I found myself a new diet drink without the carbonation that makes me bloat!! Has anyone tried Morning Spark? it's these little foil type pouches that you add to bottled water. I got the cranberry ones and they are really good and best of all they have Vitamin C and my favorite thing CAFFINE!!! I've been mixing mine with my favorite Light Cranberry/Raspberry Juice to cut the amount of sugar even lower.
Okay ya'll wish me luck I have a first date on the 26th....He seems to be a really great guy and has the most beautiful blue eyes and great dimples.....He's seen pictures of me in shorts and still wants to go out with me...Let's see if he bails like the others....
When is a good time to mention that there used to be a lot more of me? Before I run into someone I haven't seen in a couple of years? Should I mention it??
Oh and the guy who wanted to take me motorcycle riding then bailed? He emailed not 1 minute after I made the date with Dimples. Sorry Dude!! LOL I found out that an old friend of mine has something to do with the disappearance of Mr Hottie......I don't know what exactly yet but oh WELL!! His loss!!
Tonight is the night of the big date!! Remember the guy with the beautiful blue eyes and dimples? Yeah, well. he won't be showing up. Seems like he just disappeared in to thin air. Hmmm Cold feet? My picture in shorts? My personality? Huge black hole in the universe over Nashville? The Nashville Triangle? We will never, ever, know because he didn't have the common human decency to give an explaination he just vaporized. Well kind of, it seems he is still active on the singles site singleparentmeet.com Titans63 if anyone wants a hot date. LOL MEN SUCK!!