Rantings of a fat chick-I'm back, I'm fat, and I'm pissed at ME!
OMG! How did I let myself get this way AGAIN! True confessions time, I went to the doctors and I am 213 freakin' pounds. I am so mad at ME, at my doctor who kept giving me little plattitudes such as well as we get through menopause we just gain weight. WTF? I kept telling her something was wrong, I wasn't eatting that badly for the weight to just start stacking up that fast....but OH NO, she was the doctor and she knew everything. Now that I look back on it she didn't even question me that much.
Last year Oct 07 I was estatic, my weight was down to 155, I looked good, I felt GREAT! I just had this itchy spot on my back that wouldn't go away, then it turned red, then a black spot started rising in the middle of it. Once I finally got my insurance to do something and finally got in with the dermatologist and Finally got a surgeon who would operate it was Stage 4, Nodular Metastic Mellanoma...Bad news.... They told me to stop the diet for a while as I would need to hold on to my weight where it was if possible. Long story short...they removed 2 large tumors, one from my back and one inside my armpit. I had radiation crystals but no chemo. All good!
I think I started rewarding myself with food because I deserved it...June I was 165...no biggie when I got back from vacation in July I'd lose again. End of July 175... Started back to college fulltime, my schedule was a pain....I was running across campus several days a week, sometimes there until 9 at night and eatting on campus is a challenge and expensive! Suddenly I notice in October my weight is 190...Crap....I go back to my GP in November and she tells me to exercise more. (Gee why didn't I think of that). December I go to a New doctor... Tell her in addition to the weight 213, I have brain fog, I cann't study, I cann't breathe, I'm exhausted, my joints hurt....
Hmmm seems my diabetes meter which had been showing me at perfect range all this time is screwed up...my sugar is off the freakin' chart....so I have 2 months to get it under control or go on insulin. Since I hate, hate, hate needles...I'm back to do low carb and get this excess fat gone, again!!