Tired.
I got my hair cut and colored tonight. I love my long wavy hair, but when I go to clinicals I have to pull it back and thought it made me look matronly. Plus it was starting to look like my long hair was dragging my face down, if you know what I mean. I saw a young chickie at college the other day with longish hair and bangs and she had it pulled back and it looked so cute on her. So I marched into my salon and said to cut me some bangs. Long story short, I hate it. It makes me look fat.
So after supper I was messing with it and came to realize that it is not my hairstyle that makes me look fat... I make me look fat. I started to cry.
When did I get this fat? When did I get this OLD?! I immediately wanted to crawl into bed and sleep...
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of studying, and taking tests, and studying some more.
I'm tired of being surrounded by young fresh college students with firm bodies, dewey skin, and perky boobs.
I'm tired of my boyfriend living 3 hours away.
I'm tired of my ex-husband contributing nothing for his son.
I'm tired of my house being a complete disaster.
I'm tired of looking for clean clothes in the stack on the dryer.
I'M TIRED OF BEING FAT.
Yes, I know I am the one in control of these things to a certain extent, and I sound like a whiny child, but I just needed to vent a little. Please forgive me.
)