Macro and micro choices
I see, once again, that it is not magic. It's just doing the same old, same old, every day, day after day. That's what adds up to change, not herculean efforts that last a few days or a few weeks. It's a long haul and sometimes it's boring. So what? If I want to change, it's the same things that get me there.
I see it as macro and micro choices/efforts. The macro is choosing a general exercise plan, deciding what workout to do today and then doing it. The macro is also choosing a general eating plan, deciding what meals to eat today and then making and eating them. The general plans are the foundation of the house and the workouts/meals are the framework.
The micro choices are the millions of small choices that I make every day that add up over time. It is the extra bites when I am making dinner or cleaning up, it is the half a piece of toast or a bite of doughnut and so on. These things are really challenging to me. It's interesting 'cause I tend to spend money that way too. I give a lot of consideration to spending $1000 or more but boy, I can nickel and dime us to death--a couple of books here, a few trinkets there. Over the month, it adds up and up and up, just the way those extra calories do.
The other micro choices relate to all the incidental movement I could do over a day. This is going to the bathroom one floor up at work instead of the one on the same floor as my office. It's probably less than a minute or two difference but over a year? It adds up. It's lying down to watch television instead of sitting up and doing some knitting or other busywork. It's the difference in calories burned sitting at the computer or standing and doing the dishes.
The micro choices are the walls of the house, made up of small increments, like bricks maybe. They don't make the dramatic change that putting up a framework makes. They add up slowly and I can miss the adding up until, holy cow, I've put on another five pounds OR lost another five pounds. They can undo me but they can also make the difference, because they are so much easier to build into a busy life.
I know I have a tendency to greatly undervalue the micro choices. My logical mind KNOWS that they make a big difference but even as I am writing this, there is another voice that's whispering, "Ah, but big deal. How is this little thing going to help/hurt?"
I think I have always held that secret opinion and I think the problem is--when I was twenty or thirty, I could get away with it. I could ignore the micro choices and just do a little longer workout and burn it off. I was always active, always had regular workouts. I think it was all those micro choices that added up to five pounds here, five pounds there, creeping up ten pounds a decade and now creeping up faster than that. As I carry more weight, the regularly scheduled workouts become harder to do, I get discouraged easier and tire faster so guess what? Those regular workouts that I counted on to keep the weight wolf from the door have become shorter, less intense, less frequent which just speeds up the whole cycle of weight gain and loss of fitness.
I also know that when I was younger, I could be really good about my eating habits for a few days and see the results on the scale. No longer. I have to work at it longer and the lack of immediate feedback and payoff is a problem for me.
Anyway, to come back to the beginning--it's not magic. I keep thinking that I should hire a personal trainer, that I should try some appetite suppressants, that I should get some acupuncture or try Jenny Craig or see a nutritionist or buy a new book. But inside, I know that none of that will really help unless I can muster the...what? willpower? commitment? whatever it is to keep on doing it. None of those things will make a difference long term. They might get me going but it's kind of like waiting for the knight in shining armour. As Scott Peck said, there is no one coming to save me. I'm the only one who can do it. And it's as simple as making the choice, every day, every hour, every minute, that my life is worth it, that I want it enough.