05/13/2007 12:17
Happy Mother's Day!!!
Sunday!!! i have had a wonderful mothers day....=)
my hubby had to work half a day in the pm. and my children are either playing or sleeping...lol rememeber the ages of my kids are.... 5......almost 19....and ....almost 22...lol so for the older two...up early means right back to bed after the action is over...lol
this just gives me some much needed alone time to work on my ww eating plan. i want to make up a card system that when i am ready to eat i can pull a card and make it...not have to figure points b/c thats already done. i also want a qwick pick section of food that range from 0 points to 2 points for fast eating or snacking.
well off to work and i hope everyone is have great day being a mommy or with their mommy!! =)
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (2)
Top
05/11/2007 15:16
grumble...grumble...
yep...thats how i feel... yuck!
ww isn't going yet. i really haven't started and i went to my second meeting today. i sat there...not an ounce lost and i remembered how excited i sat there the first time about a year ago now and i lost 12 pounds and then i stopped doing ww and of course gained.
so this weekend will be filled w/ working up a food plan and committing to eating a "good food" eating style. this is only a plus that will aid in my future plans but i'm not feeling motivated today.
i also heard something today i want to share. a woman at ww who is just maintaining lost 3.4 pounds but just walking in the morning for 30 minutes before eating breakfast. she said she read that somewhere. so i think i may try that which means a whole new committment of exercising.
well me and my grumpy self are off.... gonna hang out w/ my little guy a while...that will cheer me up...=)
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (0)
Top
05/06/2007 21:20
When the man upstairs knows best!
God is talking to me........
me, my husband, and 5 yr.old son set out hiking this afternoon. it was our usual hike but we planed on walking half a mile then turn down another trail we've never hiked before.
this .50 miles is the same .05 miles i walked in January when my oldest son came home to visit for christmas from college in ny. yes, i was slow but i did fine....TODAY i was huffing and puffing, heart pounding....i wanted to stop and turn back but i didn't say a word. i pushed forward and could not believe how bad i felt, how out of shape i was again. we came to a place on wolf's trail where there was a look out, high above the green carpet of trees and tiny rises and falls in the distance i sat looking out... i told my husband and son i wanted to rest a bit and to got a ahead and go exploring but i really wanted a few moments alone.
i thanked God for looking out for me, my wonderful family and for all the 100s of blessings in my life "and" for letting me know that i am not physically ready to go under general anesthesia, my lungs and heart are just not as strong as they once were, my body just isn't ready for such an undertaking as gastric bypass surgery right now and the three months would allow me to work up my strangth and stamina. i honestly did not realized how far a slipped backward until today... and things happen for a reason that's for sure!
so when the boys returned our 2 mile hike turned into about 5 plus. my feet hurt and my leg muscles are a little tight but i feel great. proud i am on this track. i was able to do a lot of thinking as well as spending time w/ my family. i even laid back on a rock and looked up into such a huge beautiful blue sky and said to myself...."the sky's the limit"
i am so much more excited than i thought i was before. i have always tried to set goals but august as a target and growing strong a "have to" i feel like everything is coming together like it should be and i now have a peace that was missing before. well i better get to bed...i am tired...lol
hope everyone is doing great!!!
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (0)
Top
05/05/2007 08:36
Three Months and Counting.
what a three ring circus....me, doctors, and the insurance!!
the block in the road has fallen... i found out this past week my paper work was submitted to the ins. "w/out" the letter of necessity from my referring physician and out of "two years" of working hard and talking about my weight he, my primary doctor only documented "two" times that we talked about my weight. i was so upset wed. i found this out from my surgeons office and was recommended to make an appointment w/ my dr. and get the ball rolling toward a three month in preparation surgical diet and so i called on thurs. and explain "again" what was missing and what i needed....i left three messages and i received no call back. i was finished w/ patients at 4:30 so i drove over there. i signed in and waited. as i did my anger subsided as i watched what this awesome practice has come too. my doctor raced around. the waiting room full and it was approaching 5pm. the girls looked stressed and undirected by the physician so when it came my turn the fire that was a bonfire was a small focused flame. i explained again what it was i needed. i requested for them to look through my chart to see if what i had given them previously about my ins. and surgeons needs and requirements was that and guess what...nope....but that was ok i went out to the car and brought a copy of them again. i basically said look...get me on a scale and weigh me...well go from there b/c now i have 3 months to wait...so she did and then it seemed to get a little clearer what i was asking. she also gave me a 1200 calorie diet and said come back in a month. she documented in front of me that i was weighed and given the diet and was told to exercise. i said again... it needs to be descriptive..."everything" i told her i would keep a journal and submit a copied each time i came back. that night i worried...all night.... then made the decision to join weight watchers...they weigh every week... they have meetings...and is legal, submitable documentation to the insurance just to cover my doctors lacking. i called my surgeons office and told her everything that went on she agreed ww was smart to start. well there it is in a nut shell.
at first i was upset but God knows whats best. i will be a little more lighter and healthier from increased activity before having to go under general anesthesia so i'm ok w/ it now. it will happen when it is meant too.
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (0)
Top
05/01/2007 23:01
red tape roller coaster....
what a mess.... red tape... red tape..... red tape....
first the insurance asks for more info then 4 days later sends me a letter stateing my pending claim was diened due to lack of info.....!!!!!!!! so i called the insurance and was told that the dr. will submit the additional info and it will be treated as an appeal.. i was so happy to hear that we didn't have to totally start over i didn't think to ask how many times can i appeal? so i'll be on the phone tomorrow.
part of the problem is i have great doctors and their staff members are very sweet and kind but when it comes down to it its like pulling teeth to get them to do their job. i can only do so much but in the end the insurance wants every thing submitted through the doctor doing the surgery.
so just some advise....
- call your insurance and get the policy outline for approval for weight loss surgery and what type is covered.
- get you doctors outline that he is looking for before he'll do the surgery.
- gather all the info. that you can.
- make copies of all the papers, contacts, address, etc. so if something is lost or misplaced you can get the info fast.
- keep a file w/ a paper to record all your contacts. who you talked to, who called you, when it happened, and how it happened, and what was said, etc.
so please keep me in your prayers. i want this for the right reasons, my health, my quality of life, and most of all my children & family....they need me to be there and be healthy.
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (0)
Top
04/30/2007 09:46
still waiting...
well as of last week my claim is still pending w/ the insurance. i recieved a letter requesting additional information and i'm getting the feeling i may be denied rather than approved. the reason is for the simple fact i never tried prescribed diet pills and b/c i don't have a full six months of recorded diet documentation for the last six months. the truth is... i was the one who did not want to take diet pills and my doctor and i have been working seriously for the past two years on my weight and no i did not weigh in w/ him every week and i guess the two years of hard work is nothing w/ out the weekly weigh in. i'm kinda bummed but its in Gods hands. so my spirit in down today but tomarrow may be better.....
we'll just have to see whats to come.
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (2)
Top
04/10/2007 00:31
Working on Me
Easter dinner wasn't the total disaster i thought it might be. i am amazed at the amount i don't eat when i feel like i'm gonna totally pig out and when i felt full i stopped. i even passed on desert. i have been following "Khym" blog and she gave me the best advise.... when it happens it happens..pertaining to the out come of moving forward with surgery. in the meantime i am moe aware of what i'm putting into my mouth and what the rest of me is doing such as sitting or going the extra steps.... that makes me feel proud and makes me rethink the guilt and feelings of failing. yes i have gained back some weight but i have changed the way i eat. mentally i think i am food healthier than i have ever been.
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (1)
Top
04/04/2007 20:46
Just watching the clock.
no news yet... but then i didn't expect to hear anything so soon. i've heard the rest of the process...the part beyond my control could take as long as 3-6 months.
well, i've started back on my eating plan of "the 1/2 diet". i'm sure somewhere out there there is a real 1/2 diet but this is my version.
i will eat as i always have, what ever i want but eat only half. this is how i started out my last battle against my gain. from there i will eventually get back on the weight watchers flex point plan.
starting to cut back or "diet" will serve two purposes.
1. the surgeon recommended not gaining anymore wt. while waiting and trying to lose some wt. to help shrink the liver in preperation for getting it out of the way on surgery day.
2. the harsh truth....things may not go as planned and i may have to appeal or even abandon this hope. so..... getting back on the health wagon isn't gonna hurt me either way b/c no matter what i need to get healthy for myself and family.
i have started walking. its just slow for now b/c my back is still giving me problems w/ pain and discomfort. i am starting my modified yoga back...according to the doctors i have gained an inch in height !!! i think its from streching my spine is a gental process.
well, i'm off to check in on everyone else...hope your week is going great!
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (2)
Top
04/01/2007 20:27
Why the LAP band isn't for me.
LAP-BAND® - Home
at first i thought that the best option for a permanent solution was the LAP band but after truly looking deep into each and researching each surgery down to the life long term...years down the road, the LAP band wasn't for me b/c.... i didn't like the idea of an object being around my stomach that could perforate, erode the tissue or herniated anytime causing serious sickness or even death, that fear would be there for as long as i lived. also, there is a small line that runs down under the skin w/ a port that is the site for injections for adjustments as well as an x-ray to locate the port under the skin and sometimes adjustments are a few times a week and every time you change the needs of the band may change. also, the long term research isn't there. successful gastric bypass has been going on since 1967 in the US and so i started to seriously start looking into my other permanent options.
i have also added the link to the surgeons i will be trusting my life w/. they have been performing the type of bypass i will be having (praying everything works out w/ insurance) for the past 7 years and doing it laperscopic w/ 6 tiny incisions. all my parts are still there and if ever needed can be reversed. the doctor does his job and then i do my job w/ regular check-ups nothing like what would be required w/ the LAP band. yes absorption of nutrition and vitamins can be an issue BUT if you are doing what your suppose to being doing such as eating your protein first, and taking your daily vitamin then there shouldn't be a problem but w/ the dr.'s i'm working w/ they have already set me up w/ a dietician we have already met and discussed many possible happenings along the way and how we can handle them.
so that is why i have decided to have the bypass done. i hope this has helped anyone eles who may be considering their options.
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (1)
Top
03/31/2007 11:17
My Decision to Move Forward...Gastric Bypass
The end of January I ruptured the 2 bulging discs in my lower back. If you might recall I ruptured 1 disc two years ago and then was told about the bulging discs. I thought that was a painful experience!
I struggled through giving time to heal but it just wasn't coming and finally gave in to going to see the doctor (always afraid of hearing back surgery which I am more afraid of than anything else when it comes to surgery) this visit was very different than any other w/ him before. His usual patience and understanding was replaced w/ the last appointment of a day that he struggled through w/ a cough and flu. I was met by a man tired and sick...and was surprised by his frankness and non-willingness to candy coat the obvious problem. "My Weight & How I carry it". His words came swiff and to the point. It was hurtful and shame filling inside but they were words of truth. He said as he rolled in his chair to the counter and scanned through my chart. He placed a hand I sure that was acheing w/ the flu symptoms, looked up at me and said....
We have to take a serious look here. You have given your best and have failed again, not saying you didn't try not to but in all the years I have cared for you we arrive again at a weight gain and your health problem increase w/ each failed attempt. I feel its time for you to honestly look at your self, your attempts at being healthy and what exactly you want to do in the rest of your life. And w/ that being said I want you to really consider a permanent treatment in help you control your portions, gastric bypass.
I was floored. All I wanted was maybe to try something else for pain. I couldn't believe what he said. I had done my best and failed...I was a failure!! "I have never given up on anything unless it was only after a long 200% attempt to make it work!" anything after that was said was unheard. I felt hurt and I felt dumped on b/c he was sick and probably should have been home not in the office dumping on me!!
the first week after my visit I nursed my wounded ego and the second week I started to analyze what he really was saying to me and then I got the call from him asking if I had contacted my insurance to see if they cover the surgery and then started researching the surgeons and he could recommend one if I was having problems. I did in fact contact my insurance but that was it. This call made things hit home. He was serious and concerned w/ my health, maybe I'm not concerned enough.
It was all true. every word he said, I had given 2 years of my best effort and yielded at a 32 pound loss and here I was gained out of control again...my 200% effort failing.
I had considered gastric bypass about 2 and half years ago but for reasons I felt I was not a good candidate. Things like, I was a terrible junk food junky, hated water, hated anything diet, and sure wasn't ready to deny myself anything. But now I was ready. I have come a long way since then. Who I am now is not who I was then. I have changed for the good and I was ready to start my research again. I went to 2 seminars, one from the first time and one 115 miles in another state b/c I know someone who had surgery w/ these Dr's and they have had many successes. I weighed the pros and cons. long term... do I under go a perm. portion control surg. or back surg. w/ rods and screws, close to my spine and nerves to every part of my body and possibly more pain and end up not being able to walk. I am headed toward a surg. but here and now I am able to make the choice. My husband was against it w/ the attitude of "just push your self away from the table" but he has gone to the seminar w/ the dr.s I have decided to trust w/ my life, and my husband has changed and committed to support me. He now understands the serious health risks of being apple shaped, and that some of my weight problems are genetic. I am now at the waiting stage and that's waiting on the insurance approval stage. I will keep everyone updated and if anyone has any questions please let me know and I'll answer the best that I can. This not just a quick fix...it's a life long change in how I will live the rest of my life.
Posted By: Emma Bella
Add Comment |
Comments (2)
Top
