.06 lost...i'll take it

ww watchers weigh in said i lost only .06 but i'll take it!! 

i am still not feeling well.  i am really tired and i feel wore out.  i have been napping off and on all day.

i read in a blog that someone was waiting on "alli" to come out and i asked what it was.  i came across the book yesterday and the plan looks really good. i saw where they used store bought pre=packaged meals and had a pretty good exercise section. the book was 19.99 which isn't too bad. i may go back and pick it up. i'd like to read more about it. has anyone started this plan or heard more about how it works?

i hope everyone has had a great weekend.

skipped weigh in today but will weigh in tomorrow

i'm still feeling under the weather.  i skipped weigh in today and opted for lunch w/ my daughter at apple bee's which i must say has a nice ww menu.  but i've been more thirsty than anything else.  i can't believe i went all through the holidays up until now w/out even a sniffle.  well my little guy has t-ball but i'll be back later to check on everyone.  hope everyone is having a great friday!

Going through the WW Motions

wonderland or OZ..do they supersize?

lost in wonderland or is it OZ.  my little guy has been cast as a lollipop guild munchkin in a play our county is producing.  i sit there night after night and watch the children and adults.  i really enjoy it and tonight i thought about the whole yellow brick road.  i can't wonder where on am on the yellow brick road?  that is the yellow brick road to my health.  i have also recently while shopping at K-mart and also Walmart passed the "diet" supple isle and guess what?  at least one person stood there gazing at the shelf of this and that....lose lose lose....buy buy buy....promise promise promise you will lose the weight w/ their product.

Tick...Tick..Wide Awake!!!

GRRRRRR!!!.... almost one o'clock in the morning and here i am. me and the breakfast club...man i love this movie...makes me think back to high school days and a much smaller healthier me.

anyway, i just wanted to say thanks to those who comment and look in on me...=)

i went out to lunch today w/ a few co-workers. we went to the "golden dragon"  yummy...BUT i ordered.....

small wanton soup, no pork, extra onions.

small egg roll w/ no sauces.

AND!!!!!!!

"WATER w/ lemon".........not b/c i was keeping the calories low BUT b/c thats what i thirsted for... yes... a tall glass filled w/ice and 2 slices of lemon....it was so good... so refreshing.... i can't help but make a big deal over this when i make this choice b/c i want it.

i have always hated water as a child, as a teenager, as an adult. i would go w/out, dieing of thurst before i'd let water pass my lips. it still shocks me to this day how good water tastes. i can't believe that life change was completed and has only grown stronger. 

looking back how i got here was by slowly replacing carbonated drinks w/ juice...then watering down the juice....then crystal lite and then water w/ lemon.

grrrr.... tomorrow will be better right?  i'm gonna pat myself on my back tonight and raise my glass to "WATER"... for now my only success and i can live w/ that.

good night everyone...sweet dreams and too me to so maybe i won't be so tired in the morning.

ww weigh in

well i maintained this week but i still haven't given the 100% i need to so at this rate i'll take rather than a gain.

i have just been feeling so stressed, tired, or is it wore down.  i just don't feel right. my home life is very busy now but its all related to fun so i don't know whats really up and whats preventing me a good nights sleep. i can honestly say i am not laying there wide awake. i fall asleep but dream or if i don't dream i wake up to a tossed bed and my mattress about 4 inches away from the head board from my tossing and turning which is no easy task w/ a 5' 9" 220 pound man laying next to me. he has sleep apnea and wears a mask to help him not to snore and keep me awake, no really its to keep him breathing and the benifit to me is no snoreing...=)  but he says he han't noticed anything. i just better get over it!! i have no choice!

well i'm off to see what everyone else it doing.

one month down, two to go....

with may behind me i statrt june w/ so many hopes. 

the first being.....................

one month down and 2 to go and i hope the insurance will then approve me.

i went to my ob/gyn and have decided to gather up my records and go to a new dr.  i was treated very poorly. he didn't have my needs before his which was the best way to get the most money from me and my insurance. he also talked to me about my decision to try and get approved for gastric bypass. he was against it. he told me is i was unhappy w/ my body there were other options "such as" going to his other office where he is the only doc. and i could let him basicly do some lipo like procedure that was approved to be done in the office. i was soooo mad!! what was i hearing??? first, i was there to address the results of my pelvic ultra sound. i questioned that and his reply was "thats not here or there, its been 6months now" and second, my decisoion was not about how i looked but how i feel on the inside and i didn't just decide this over night....i took 2 and a half years to research and tried to change my life myself.  

the whole experience was bad. i feel more depressed about my situation and no further than i was a week ago. i know i need to go and "get my clock reset' as i keep being told but i feel so... i can't explain it. like i just don't want to deal w/ it. of course i am b/c i have to but i still don't want to deal w/ it. my appt. at the new doctor ( a woman and highly recommended but a drive which i don't about any more as long as she knows what shes doing or if she doesn't she'll help me find someone who does) is june 26th. i know its a way off and i didn't explain anything i guess i just  didn't want to talk about it any more. maybe monday i'll call back and let them know why i'm coming (more than a check-up) and see where we go from there.

well i guess i'm gonna go.  i'm starting to feel depressed i guess and i don't like it.  tomorrow i need to go to weight watcher and weigh in, maybe the meeting topic will be up lifting. good night every one.

sad news for me

my husband and i have tried to get pregnant. i even went last year for some medical help but it just wasn't in God's plans for us but we cont. to not use anything to prevent a prenancy.

well, dec.2006 i skipped...i figured i'd wait to the following month to take a test i didn't want to get too excited and then it happen. TOM came but lasted just a few days. i took it as a gift since january was crazy for me and went on about my way.  in feb. TOM came about 7 days very light...another gift and the thoughts of maybe i'n going thought the change early. the end of march ran into april and again very light to almost nothing. now may 5 started the same thing but no end was near...i called the dr. on the 21st and got in thurs., friday i went for a pelvic ultra sound and things are looking like i miscarried.  i cried and cried... i know its in God's hands but i have never lost a child before and even though it probably happened in feb. i am still heart broken. they are recommending a uterin ablasion which means the the uterus lining will be distroyed and never again will That TOM come or become pregnant. i know turning 39 my b-day in aug. just adds to the risks. i know God knows best but i am still sad. sad to know my baby making parts will no longer work and all hope is gone from that dream.

=(  i hope everyone else is doing great and having fun this weekend.

Getting my ducks in a row....

so far so good....

one duck...two ducks...three ducks....four!

i'm getting there, counting down the days but still w/ worry.  i may get there and "again" the insurance may say "more" and then i'll just get that more.... i keep telling myself this so if any more disappointments come along they will be short lived and the faster i get on track getting those ducks in a row the faster i can get this waiting done.

i have been walking, hiking, and watching my portion sizes and really trying to pay attention to what my stomach is saying. i have been drinking more water which for the first time in my life is really a taste selection i prefer. i have always hated water in the past and it got better when i started changing my life but now...i thurt for it w/out thinking about it so i guess thats another example of getting a duck in line...=)

i have also been attending my ww meetings. there isn't anything new from a year ago but the people, thats where its at. their fire to succeed and ideas of how they cope w/ their food issues. thats what i enjoy most.

well i hope everyone is having a great sunday, my little guy has baseball pics at 2pm so after that we may go hiking or walking around the lake. "sunshine to everyone!!!"

yubba Dubba DOOO!!! BBQ

i need to get on my feet more! i need to move more... i actually marched in place at work today.

i have good intensions but i feel like the girls at work have banded together in throwing a monkey wrech in my day everyday. i have faired well but i feel evil lurks at every turn...cupcake, candy, leftovers from the night before.....i want ...i want...i want to eat comfort food....but i haven't tasted, nibbled, or even smelled....  but oh, am i thinking about it right now...BUT one of the big rules NO EATING AFTER 9:00 PM!!!!  stops me... now if i were smart i would have followed the earlier rule.... zero point snack between 7-8pm. if..IF!!! i really need to put something in my mouth and crunch.....

but nooooooo....here i sit... i'm thinking i'm hungry but my tummy hasn't grumbled once.... so it truly is in my head....

whoooo i'm feeling like i'm working this wanting to eat out. i guess i'll have to pat my own back tonight too....lol =)

geez..... its like talking down a jumper on a roof top....lol  funny and not funny. i hate how food has such a grip on my life. i know i will always have issues w/ food and i need to continue to work hard on my coping skills.

well i'm feeling pretty good now.... =)   i think i can go back to bed w/out dancing bacon cheese burgers over head....lol  =)

good night all.....thanks for being out there and looking at my blog... knowing you know what i'm thinking and doing helps me be accountable for my actions, especially in times like these...and just one more up date........

nope the tummy "still" has not grumbled once!!