02/17/2006 00:10
The Battle Continues!!!
Thank you, Thank you, to everyone for your comments and encouragement! I have really needed them and it feels great to have such a wonderful support system in place.
This isn't going as easy as before. Unhappily I am trying to keep w/in the limits i have set for my self. My mind constantly thinking about food and the next meal/snack time. Every little tummy rumble I worry "oh no...I'm hungry" I've been kinda grumpy but I've kept it contained internally. I was so motivated 6 months ago. This feels like such punishment!....whine whine...whine! now w/ all that whining over w/!!!!
So, tomorrow is a new day and another day has passed and I survived!! I honestly don't think mu body knows what its like to be hungry b/c I've spoiled it so. Today was a co-workers birthday and the office went out to Ruby Tuesdays. I ordered what I wanted b/c I was starving but I added a side of steamed broccoli and that's what I ate first. I just didn't feel like a salad so i figured it was a nice trade off. Then I only ate 3 of my 6 chicken tenders and a couple bits of the mashed potatos I got instead of french fries. It was weird, I actually brought a to go box w/ half of what I "didn't" eat!!!....this never...ever happens...i've always cleaned my plate and although my co-workers are not slim and trim either they noticed and just gave me a smile of encouragement which I welcomed verses the conversation of diets and worries of failure.
What I'm doing...Some asked about high protein/Low carb?....Well, what I'm trying to do is exactly what I did today at lunch. Live a normal life. Eat what I love and w/ who I love but know my limits. Know what "my" portion size is and when my stomach is getting full and teach myself that I can bring what I love home for later or the next day and enjoy it again verses eating it all feeling stuffed, unhappy, and going through the mental beating I give myself for be so out of control and then go and do it all over again the next day. I have been on diets. I've won and I've lost but I really want to walk off this playing field and live a regular life. I feel like this is the best way for me to go about this.