Getting Serious
Well today has been started off on a serious note. yes, i'm still on the wagon not chasing it BUT i've scooted over to the edge and my legs have been dangling over catching a little dirt from time to time.....in other words...i've been over indulging in the evening and lacks on my exercise...i do have a little excuse for the exercise b/c my back has been killing me...so monday i'll be going to the neuro-doc and finding out what i need to do to get out of this pain and NO pills and NO surgery! of course losing more weight, but do i need a brace or different exercises or physical therapy??? i had a ruptured disc last june in my lower back. what i'm feeling now is in my neck and runs down between my shoulder blades and i flinch w/ sharp pain if i move wrong not to mention my right shoulder is in on this pain game and my thumbs in both hands...if i put my arms up and straight out in front of me my arms are both weak and i get a tingling sensation in my right arm that runs down to my hand where i feel it in my pinky and thumb...i have tried to just deal w/ it but its really uncomfortable and becoming harder to work w/. i'm a dental hygienist and the occupational clinical expectancy is 5-7 years and i'm head onto my 14 th. and before hygiene i was a dental assistant since are 16. so i've been blessed in my career but i'm not ready to leave it yet...for one thing... my pay is excellent and disability would never meet it especially at my age...second is i have some debt (thank God no credit cards) that i'd like to get rid of and i plan on refi my home to a 15 year mortage and also put more into savings and retirement... i have a plan and i need at least 15 more years out of this back...lol the nurse said on the phone that it sounded nerve related...that scares me b/c i met a lady once who was left w/ her rand daughters baby ( the girl was a young wild mother of 14) and so she adopted the baby but had terrible artritis which made her arms weak and was not able to bend.... she cried b/c he could not care for the baby her great grandson and was going to put him up for adoption b/c he deseved to be physically loved as well as emotionally and verbally loved...it was heart braking to hear her story...she was at the dental clinic i worked at in ny w/ an older grandchild in her custody as well... another hygienist listen in on her heart braking story and took her a side when all was said and done...her sister in law could not have children as she offered to arrange a meeting if the grandma truly was serious (she was about her mid 60's) the out come....the baby was adopted out to my friend and co-workers sister in law and brother where they included that grandma in every holiday and life event in that childs life...thank God...but now when the numbness runs now my arm and as like right now the pinky on my right hand is going numb her stroy comes to mind... i want to feel my children and hug them...i want to do the same to my some day grand kids... i'm sure i'm not gonna be as bad as that lady i spoke of but i worry... the pharse "it sounds nerve related" does scare me.... so i'm gonna get down and dirty w/ my eating... until i can get back to my exercise... my feet are back up on the wagon and i'm on board for the long haul...the more i lose the less weight on my bones and nerve trunk ...the better i continue to eat the healthier i will be the stronger i will be the better my life will be... i have made changes...and i feel great...i just gotta keep on the wagon!! =) happy saturday to everyone!!!