Visiting old Demons
two weeks ago i went to dinner w/ my daughter and saw a movie. i had been feeling stressed w/ life and feeling really homesick.
at dinner i ordered steak, a baked potato, and broccoli. i've ordered this many times before and always taking half home for the next day. but something was different. i really wanted to eat my food. everything smelled so good, looked so good... i wanted to eat it all! every bit and lick the plate. for the first time since my surgery i felt angry i couldn't have it all and didn't care i could enjoy it again tomorrow. i tried to eat it all... keep telling myself i need the protein of the steak and the broccoli was nice and green full of iron and tried hard to get at least half that potato down and then it happened. i got the worse stomach pains and sick feeling. the out come was a blessed trip to the bathroom and the release of what could be compared to a can of pop that was shaken up. who ever said that experience wasn't that bad and wasn't sour is crazy! i will never allow that to happen again.
wow, what demons came to visit at my door. stressing eat hit home once again and proved to win. its been two weeks but i am very aware of my psycological state of mind and making sure i don't relapse to my old ways of dealing w/ it...over eating. so far so good.
i am still losing slow and sure. my body is changing its shape again. my face looks different to me and i feel great full of engery! minus my episode two weeks ago things are still moving right along. i hope everyone else is doing great too!!!!